


Alpha/Omega

by bealovelylady



Series: UshiHina Mini (And Not So Mini) Fics [12]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Crossdressing, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Masturbation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Possessive Sex, Sex Toys, Size Difference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:00:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 56,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22444468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bealovelylady/pseuds/bealovelylady
Summary: This felt like a defining moment for little Shouyo as he sat uncomfortably in seiza next to his little sister. He was only six, his sister barely four, but to Hinata Shouyo, this moment felt important.What Shouyo did understand was that he didn’t like the way the two fathers looked at each other, plotting the future for two young children who didn’t know each other at all. Shouyo stared wide as sake cups were exchanged and signature stamps pulled out. What he did understand was that this was somehow very, very important, to Natsu’s future and his own.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Series: UshiHina Mini (And Not So Mini) Fics [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1073484
Comments: 226
Kudos: 653





	1. Defining Moment

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fflowerpower94](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fflowerpower94/gifts).



> Thank you to fflowerpower94 for sending me this ultra-cute fic idea! I had so much fun with it, and it’s been so long since I’ve posted /sweats
> 
> Enjoy!

This felt like a defining moment for little Shouyo as he sat uncomfortably in seiza next to his little sister. He was only six, his sister barely four, but to Hinata Shouyo, this moment felt important. 

Three pairs of stern eyes looked on the small Hinata family; father, mother, brother and sister. The eldest Hinata sat with his back straight, proud to be here. Shouyo barely understood what was going on, but he knew his parents were excited. 

“Is this her?” asked the tall man from across the room, eyes scanning over Shouyo’s sister, Natsu. She shrank back against Shouyo, and he wrapped an arm around her, eyes watching the man across from them. They had only one child, and he sat staring straight ahead, uninterested as far as Shouyo could see. He was handsome for eight, already shooting up like a weed, probably going to be tall like his father. Shouyo stretched out his back and sat as tall as he could. 

“Yes,” murmured Shouyo’s father proudly, smiling at the other man. “She’ll make a fine omega bride one day, Ushijima-san.”

The man named Ushijima-san nodded, eyes glittering a little. “This would be an advantageous marriage, both for our family and for yours, don’t you agree, Hinata-san?”

What Shouyo didn’t understand at the young age of six, was that this was a meeting of two very powerful, important families: Ushijima-san, whose family had run the Ushijima Corporation for generations, a well-established business, and Hinata-san, the owner of a highly successful, multi-million dollar start up. Though the Hinatas were new to wealth, no one in the business world looked down on them, for the eldest Hinata was brilliant, and his company benefited all the other multi-billion dollar corporations. Ushijima-san had been the first to seize the opportunity that had been presented to him, as the father of a young boy, from a strong line of alphas, and he had been the one to approach Hinata, with a young daughter who would surely be a beauty, and an omega when she bloomed. 

Shouyo blinked as a contract was pulled from Ushijima-san’s kimono. 

What Shouyo did understand was that he didn’t like the way the two fathers looked at each other, plotting the future for two young children who didn’t know each other at all. Shouyo stared wide as sake cups were exchanged and signature stamps pulled out. What he did understand was that this was somehow very, very important, to Natsu’s future and his own.

“When your daughter blooms and the time is right, we will come together again and plan their wedding,” nodded Ushijima-san with a decisive nod as Hinata pressed his own stamp down, signing away his daughter’s future for his company’s financial security. 

“We will look forward to the day that our children will be wed,” chimed the Hinatas as they bowed their heads, Shouyo staring wide-eyed at the passive, uninterested youngest Ushijima, as his parents bowed to the Hinatas as well. 

The children were all too young to truly understand that their lives had been set in stone from this moment. 

x

Shouyo calmly combed his sister’s hair as they sat in their shared bedroom. Today was the day that he would go to find out his second gender. In their world, there were male and female, of course, but every person held within them a second gender, one of three. While Shouyo had already begun to show specific characteristics, nothing was set in stone until the doctor tested the child and determined their second gender, whether alpha, beta, or omega. His parents were hopeful for an alpha son, or at the very least a beta, but Shouyo just stared blankly at the top of his sister’s head; as long as he could protect her, his second gender didn’t matter to him at all. 

“Nii-chan, are your nervous?” Wide brown eyes looked back and up at her older brother. She was now just 8, and Hinata was nearly 11, but they both understood very well what today meant. The eldest Hinatas had sat their children down just a few days ago to explain the dynamics of second genders, to explain about the arranged marriage between the Ushijima boy and Natsu when she came of age. For two such small children, their minds still reeled from the information even now, but everything so far seemed to be falling into place, and what could two small kids really do? Two years ago, the Ushijima boy had become the talk of the town as, just as his parents had predicted, he was determined to be an alpha at his second gender examination. In school, he had become revered as some kind of god, the children parting ways when he walked down the hall. While the Hinata children both attended the same school, and despite the contract their parents had with each other, the kids had no contact with each other. Ushijima Wakatoshi had never spoken a word to Shouyo or Natsu, let alone looked in their direction. To him, it did not matter that his parents had accepted the Hinatas. In their school, the prejudice was much stronger than amongst the adults: old rich wanted nothing to do with nouveau rich. And so the Hinata children, unbeknownst to their parents, were cast aside and seen as lesser by the children around them. 

“It will be okay,” declared Shouyo with a big smile. He’d already cried out all of his frustrations and nerves last night, so that he could face his sister today, to not make her anxious. “Whatever happens, I will always protect you, Na-chan.”

Natsu’s long hair swished as she turned towards her brother, arms hugging him tightly. She was scared, but in the face of her brother’s optimism, she could not let it be known. Her brother, who was her world, had always been her strength, her rock from the time she could remember. Nothing mattered as long as they were together. She gripped him tightly and nodded her head, setting her face to a comedically stern expression, and Shouyo laughed when they pulled apart. His sister was beautiful already, long silky hair the shade of the setting sun, and pale brown freckles to dot her ivory skin. Next to her, Shouyo looked like a wild child, messy curls and darker, scattered freckles over his nose and cheeks. On his chest and even on his back, his freckles had spread everywhere, and when he blushed, they stuck out like stars in the night sky. He abhorred them, but Natsu liked to calmly trace them in the bath, humming a song she’d made up about her brother’s “dots”.

“Are you both ready?” Their mother knocked on their bedroom door, her face betraying her own nervousness. This was an important time to adults, more-so than for the children who it was happening to. She was a beautiful omega from a middle-class family, and when she had met her husband, it had been a bit of a scandal, for he was from a lower-class family. But he was an alpha, and there was no denying their chemistry. Five years later, he had made something of himself with his wife by his side, and now no one complained about their union at all. It was funny how those things went...

“Yes!” chirped Natsu in nervous excitement, Shouyo nodding quietly. The two children ran up to their mother and took each a hand of hers, and she proudly marched them out to the living room where their father sat. Shouyo felt uncomfortable in the stiff suit he wore, a little too big for him, but Natsu looked like a little doll in her pink dress. 

“Look at you two,” beamed Shouyo’s father proudly as he stood, looking dapper in his own suit. The two children ran to him and hugged his legs as he patted their backs and laughed heartily. 

“Are you nervous?” he asked Shouyo, but Shouyo raised his big eyes and shook his head of orange curls. 

“No, Papa!”

“Good!” boomed the father’s voice, and he smiled at his beloved wife. “Let’s go.”

The hospital had built a separate wing specifically for things to do with the second gender. Doctors who had trained their whole lives in the subject had offices here, and there were special treatment rooms and a small operation room for anything to do with issues regarding a person’s second gender. Shouyo and Natsu clung to each other as they looked around the vast waiting area, ignoring the stares of the other children in their kimonos, the old rich judging the nouveau rich, but the two were used to it by now. When a nurse came out and called their family name, the four shuffled to their feet and made their way into a small exam room, a row of Hinatas sitting with Shouyo in the middle. 

“Hello,” greeted an older man as he walked in, wearing a white coat over his button up shirt and slacks. He appeared pleasant, and business cards were exchanged between the two men. A rolling chair squeaked as the doctor sat, and he looked at Shouyo with a big smile. “Are you ready, young man?” he asked, looking around at all the faces watching him, before his eyes drifted back to Shouyo. 

“Yes!” he squeaked, and the man laughed, patting his head of orange fluff. 

“Good answer! Let’s begin!”

x

“Hey, did you hear...?”

“Shh! He can hear you!”

Giggles resounded around the hallway, but Shouyo held fast to his sister’s hand, head raised if only for her. Inside, he was trembling like a leaf. His parents had been shocked, but they weren’t disappointed in him, and Natsu hadn’t seen him any other way than before, but Shouyo felt _different_. Their schoolmates felt it, too, and word had spread even more quickly about Shouyo than about Wakatoshi. 

He was an omega. It was rare, but not unheard of, but in this prestigious environment, it was only natural that he’d be looked down upon. Still, it wasn’t like it was anything he could have helped, but the other children didn’t see it that way. The two siblings just tried to keep their heads down as they walked around school. 

Suddenly someone blocked Shouyo’s path, and a booming voice barked, “Hey, Omega!”

“Shh!” yelped other voices even as they giggled. With big, brown eyes, Shouyo looked up, his blood running cold. The biggest alpha in school stood before them, and Shouyo pushed Natsu behind him. 

“Aww, is the little omega gonna protect his baby sis? How precious~” the bully teased. Shouyo had to bite his cheek to keep his eyes from wavering. His heart stopped when the big boy sang, “Isn’t this adorable, Wakatoshi?”

Ushijima Wakatoshi stepped out from behind the other boy, his eyes far away as he didn’t even look at the two Hinatas, his future family. In fact, he didn’t say a word to them, or in defense of them. “Let’s go,” he murmured, bored. He walked away, expecting the other boy to follow. With a laugh, the bully did, and Shouyo’s heart was allowed to sink to the ground. 

“Shouyo,” whispered Natsu as she stepped around her frozen brother. “Let’s go...”

Shouyo nodded stiffly. To him, his second gender meant barely a thing, because he was still himself. But at 11 years old, Shouyo realized with a start that to the rest of the world, it mattered an awful lot. 

x

“What’s this?” hummed Shouyo’s mother in confusion as she picked through the boy’s hamper, separating clothes to wash. She held up carefully a blue shirt, his gym shirt, the front stained with a bit of blood. Shouyo stared at it with wide eyes. Natsu was the one to speak. 

“Shouyo fell at school, Mama. His nose bled a little and he had to stop it with his shirt.”

“Oh,” nodded their mother. “You have to be more careful, Shouyo, darling,” she said with a smile as she gathered an armful of clothes. Shouyo watched her walk out of their bedroom, and slowly his eyes shifted to his sister. 

Silently, they regarded each other, until Shouyo bowed his head and gave a meek, “Thank you.” With his head full of curls lowered, his sister sank her hand into his hair with a laugh. 

“You have to think of these things beforehand, Shouyo. What if I hadn’t been here?” Natsu grinned wide, rubbing her brother’s bed head. He nodded quietly, turning to smile at his little sister. 

“You’re right,” he murmured with a proud smile, and Natsu nodded decisively. 

“Good boy,” she teased. 

x

Nothing got any better. Months passed and still certain people seemed fixated on Shouyo’s second gender. The bully, in particular, seemed entrenched in it. 

“Hey, hey, Omega~,” he sang as he slipped down the hall to where Shouyo stood waiting for the bathroom, his hand pressed between his thighs, knees crossed in an effort to hold his bladder in. He winced when he heard the voice, fear curling tight in his stomach. _Not now, not now_ , he begged, but the universe was a cruel mistress. A hand descended hard against Shouyo’s back and he yelped aloud. “Gotta pee, Omega? Shouldn’t you be waiting in line for the little girls’ room?”

Hands pulled at Shouyo’s arms, roughly, and it took everything in him just to keep his grip on his pants, scared he’d spill everywhere if he let go. 

“Hey, is it the same down there for little omega boys like you? Huh? Show me, show me!”

The other children in the hall looked back at the two, but no one said a word in Hinata’s defense, and tears began to burn in his eyes. When Natsu wasn’t there, Shouyo found it nearly impossible to be strong. He clung to his pants. 

Big hands grabbed under his arm pits and suddenly Shouyo was high in the air, the fear almost making him leak everywhere. He yelped and gripped himself tighter, begging anyone out there who would listen to please not let him pee his pants. “Why do you look so scared, little Omega, or is it just your nature?” the big boy taunted as he waved Shouyo’s small body about in the air. 

“Please don’t-!” squeaked Shouyo in a whimper, tears threatening to spill now. 

“Aww, is the little Omega gonna cry~? Go ahead, cry, little Omega!” Booming laughter shook through the hallway, and Shouyo glanced down desperately at the line of boys waiting for the bathroom, but no one was looking at him now as they shuffled forward, only two boys ahead of him now. 

“Let me see what’s in your underwear!” Hands scrambled at Hinata’s own, and he felt dread wash over him like a wave, drowning him. Tears fell as his hands sank away, no stopping it now. 

Wide eyes stared at Shouyo, snot and tears running down his face, and in between his legs, pee dripped over his slippers and down to the floor. The bully couldn’t even react in time as a little dropped on his own slipper. 

“Ew!” He yelled as he violently tossed Shouyo to the ground, face shifting from teasing to anger. “What a disgusting Omega! Go grovel in dirt and die-!”

“Stop!”

Sitting in a puddle of his shame, bladder now empty, Shouyo’s bleary eyes looked up as a familiar voice rang through the hallway, shrill with anger. 

“Don’t touch my nii-chan!” screamed Natsu as she slid between the two boys, arms raised wide. Shouyo saw too late that the bully’s hand had been raised, that he’d been about to strike Shouyo, but now he froze in the face of the sister’s righteous anger. Something that Shouyo couldn’t describe leaked off his sister, a chill to the air that made him shiver violently, his shame forgotten in the face of his sister’s overwhelming presence. 

“What the...” murmured the bully as he slowly lowered his hand, but Natsu wasn’t done. 

“Your sister told me you’re a beta!”

Big eyes went wide, and anger flared in the bully’s face. He raised his hand again and Shouyo yelled, but with his eyes shut tight, he never heard the slap. When he looked up again, dark olive eyes regarded him quietly, and Shouyo remembered with mortification that he was still sitting in a puddle of his own pee. 

“Stop this now,” murmured Wakatoshi’s low voice, eyes shifting away from Shouyo out to the hallway, and Shouyo realized with pure dread that this was the first time the other boy had ever looked at him. His face was unreadable, but as he walked away and called for the bully to follow, Shouyo washed over with embarrassment and something else, something much more important. Natsu sank to his side and his eyes shifted slowly to her, wide. In the corner of his eye, he watched Wakatoshi walk away. His savior, whether he’d meant to be or not. Shouyo shivered as he looked up at Natsu’s eyes, burning with a ferocity that scared even Shouyo.

“Natsu-“ he whispered, eyes wide and ears ringing. Natsu just laughed, but Shouyo could see that she understood as well as him what had just happened. “Natsu, you-“

“Hush,” she whispered. “That doesn’t matter right now.”

She took his hand and held him up, marching him with head held high into the boys’ room like she belonged, there among the other alphas. Like her, like his little sister.

“Now I can be the one to protect you, nii-chan,” she murmured proudly to his red ear, and Shouyo wondered what the future would look like now. 

x

“We can’t tell,” hushed Shouyo as he and Natsu huddled together in her bed, hands clutched. The rumors would spread soon if they didn’t put a stop to it. If it was revealed that Natsu was an alpha, what would their parents do? How would their school life change? Soon enough, they would find out; now that Natsu was presenting, she’d be taken to the doctor’s soon for an examination. 

Natsu was quiet as she combed her brother’s hair, thinking. They bid each other good night as they always did, small bodies carrying massive burdens slipping under warm sheets. She thought all night and into the early morning. Quietly, at the break of dawn, she slipped out of bed and made her way to their bathroom, Shouyo stirring at the loss of his sister’s heat. Blearily, he rubbed at his eyes, looking for her until he noticed the light under the bathroom door. He slipped out of bed and towards the door, a soft sound growing louder as he approached. Confused, he pushed the door open, blanket in one hand and fist rubbing at his sleepy eyes. Everything fell away when he saw his sister standing on the little stool in front of their sink and mirror, scissors and a chunk of her gorgeous red hair in her two hands. 

“Good morning, nii-chan,” she greeted like she wasn’t cutting off her beautiful hair, the hair he’d combed and cared for and helped her grow until now.

“Your hair-!” he choked out with tears already in his eyes, streaming down fat and hot. 

“I’ll look like you,” she said proudly as she let a chunk of hair fall, moving to cut another. 

Their mother found them like that, Shouyo wailing to the ceiling as his sister cut off the hair she loved, for what? For him? To prove a point? To make him feel not so alone? 

“Natsu!” cried their mother. “Your hair!” She stared in horror at the mess of locks on the floor and then up at her little girl. Natsu turned with fierce eyes and smiled as she set her scissors down. 

“Mama, it’s okay. I’ve to protect Shouyo now, so it’s okay.”

Their poor mother stared in shock as she slowly figured out what was going on. Quietly, she stepped into their small bathroom, picking up the scissors Natsu had discarded as she combed her daughter’s choppy new hair. Calmly, she began to cut and style her daughter’s hair, the way she always did Shouyo’s. He watched it all with wet eyes and a leaky nose, quiet now though, understanding the weight of this moment. 

Quietly, their mother murmured to them, speaking of things neither of them knew she’d known about. “Natsu, darling, it’s up to you now to protect Shouyo. You have to be a good sister and keep him safe. Don’t let anyone else hurt your precious brother, okay?”

“Yes, Mama.”

“You have to be a good girl now. Keep him safe.”

The two children were quiet as their mother cried, as she cut her Alpha daughter’s hair, her Omega son standing just behind. When she was done, she set the scissors down and cleaned the bathroom, telling the two to dress as she went to wake the patriarch of the family. Around the dining room they sat a few minutes later, everyone quiet. 

“No one can find out,” their father said stiffly, hands spread wide on the table as he looked over his family. “This is not just about the marriage with the Ushijima family. This is about our pride as Hinatas.”

Brown eyes shifted to Natsu. “Natsu, do as your mother says and keep your brother safe, but you can’t let anyone know. This has to be our biggest secret.”

He reached forward and took his children’s hands, rubbing at them gently. Quietly, the family made a pact. Natsu took Shouyo’s hand and walked him back to their room. 

“What about the marriage?” their mother whispered quietly to her husband, two pairs of eyes meeting each other as panic set in for the elder Hinatas. 

“I don’t know... Not yet. We have to wait it out and make sure-“

“Darling-“ she whispered fiercely. “Our daughter is obviously an Alpha. There’s no denying it.”

The patriarch clenched his fists and nodded. “I know, but we need this marriage.”

“I know,” mourned the matriarch quietly. 

x

“Shouyo, who did this?” Natsu whispered fiercely as she wiped at her brother’s bloody nose, but Shouyo was deathly quiet. He’d watched quietly as his sister grew before his eyes, her features changing to something sharper, while his own face grew soft, round. Natsu was quickly growing taller than him, even as she desperately clung to her femininity. Shouyo could no longer protect her, and so he’d grown quiet, bearing everything silently upon himself. He’d told no one of the daily scuffles, the feet tripping him in the hallway or the judgmental eyes. It wasn’t even just one person anymore. 

Natsu bristled at his silence, teeth gritting together. “Take your clothes off, Shouyo!” she demanded when she knew there was nothing else she could do but this. She began to undress herself as well, the two hidden away in a back corner of the school, their schoolmates in the courtyard for recess. Shouyo stared at her with wide eyes as she stripped down, her body lean and flat, strong. Shouyo curled up, arms hugging himself, ashamed, but Natsu quietly undressed him. With wide eyes, Shouyo watched as she pulled on his clothes, handing her own over to him. She combed out her pigtails and pink clips, fixing her brother’s hair as he quietly slipped into her blouse, skirt, and pantyhose. When he looked up, it was a hit to his delicate ego. Like he should have looked all along as he grew, Natsu looked perfect in his clothes, a good Hinata alpha male. 

“Oh,” she whispered as she looked her brother over. She didn’t say it, but he could see in her eyes that the same was probably true for him. He looked better in her clothes than his own. He clenched his fists into her skirt and looked down at the ground. 

“Shouyo, give me your slippers too,” she murmured as she rubbed at his arms. This time, he obediently stepped out of them, and they traded their school slippers, their names written in black marker on the sides, switched identities. 

“From now on, Shouyo, I’ll protect you like this. You just have to be strong, be me, okay?”

“Natsu,” he begged in a shaky voice, wet eyes looking up. 

“Everything will be okay, Shouyo,” she whispered as she kissed his temple. She, who was beautiful and strong, despite being younger, was now the one who would take care of her brother and keep him safe. “You did well until now, nii-chan,” she murmured to him proudly. 

Hand in hand, they stepped out together, sister and brother, the two pretending to be the other. Shouyo walked to his sister’s class quietly, head down. No one said a word to him. No one asked a thing. 

With his heart on the floor and his pride in shambles, Shouyo relinquished his role as protector to his Alpha sister.


	2. Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a shorter chapter, but there wasn’t really any other way to split it up, lol
> 
> I hope you all are enjoying this story so far! 💓💓

“I don’t feel good,” murmured Shouyo after having meekly raised his hand in class, all eyes shifting to him for a moment, and he swallowed hard. 

“Go see the nurse,” Natsu’s teacher said with one look at Shouyo, assuming like everyone did that Natsu had tested as an omega in her recent second gender examination. It was a miracle the Hinata family had been able to keep it a secret, but Natsu truly was an alpha. She came home every day with bruises and cuts, and still every morning she traded off her uniform with Shouyo in the small bathroom right by the front doors at school. Shouyo was shocked no one had figured them out yet, but slowly the bullies were starting to leave Natsu alone. Shouyo tugged at his skirt as he shuffled out of the room, self-conscious as all get out. The hair ties he had in were giving him a headache, but it was more than that. He made his way quickly to the nurse’s office. 

Voices around the corner made him stop dead in his tracks, running into the first empty classroom he saw as they came closer. One was loud and booming, the other too soft to really hear, and Shouyo listened with bated breath as they passed by. They were almost gone and he could slip out again, when the footsteps halted and silence filled the hall. Slowly, the steps moved back, just one pair this time as the soft voice called that he would see the other in class. 

“Hello?”

Shouyo froze behind the desk he’d ducked under when he’d heard the voice. He’d only heard it once before, and yet he recognized it instantly. Footsteps moved slowly deeper into the quiet classroom, every sound magnified, and Shouyo was afraid to even breathe. 

“Who’s in here?” murmured Wakatoshi as he moved deeper in, and any moment Shouyo’s hiding place would be discovered. Why was the other coming in so far to an empty classroom? Feet stopped a few steps away and Shouyo almost breathed out a relieved rush of air. 

Silence fell, and Wakatoshi just stood where he’d stopped. Minutes ticked past, long, terrible seconds. Shouyo was getting a cramp in his leg but he didn’t dare move an inch. He was huddled over his legs, and the nausea he’d felt in the classroom was building now. He thought he might be sick on the floor in a minute. 

“Hello.” 

Shouyo’s heart froze; Wakatoshi sounded like he’d spotted something, but he was still out of Shouyo’s sight. Not moving was getting harder and harder, and Shouyo’s knees shook. A few footsteps shuffled closer, pausing and then moving again. Shouyo thought he was almost safe when Wakatoshi turned on his heels back to the door, but just then Shouyo’s leg cramped and he squeaked out a note of pain. Wakatoshi turned back around, his eyes somehow finding Shouyo in the dark. 

“Why are you hiding?”

Shouyo sank down further, but the other boy moved closer and stretched out his hand. Timidly, the redhead took it and stood, massaging at his stiff calf. He kept his head bowed low, but the nausea was making his head swim so much that standing almost felt too much. He swayed and gripped at the desk beside him. Wakatoshi was very quiet. 

“You’re the...” he murmured as he stared at the crown of Shouyo’s head, and it was enough to make his head jerk up, brown eyes going wide as saucers. Olive eyes took in his face, his freckles, and his flush. 

Shouyo pushed him as his nausea flared up and he felt like he might faint then and there. Heat rolled over his skin and the moment he grabbed hold of Wakatoshi’s arm to push the other out of the way, his knees buckled, and the only thing that saved him from the fall was Wakatoshi’s arms catching him. With a grunt, Wakatoshi sank down to the floor with Shouyo, holding him awkwardly, wincing. 

“You’re... heavy...” he grunted as he slowly opened his eyes, but his words stopped there. Shouyo was profusely sweating now, gripping onto Wakatoshi’s sleeve as heat washed over him in wave upon wave, and something itched in his underwear. He gripped at the front of his skirt and shivered, feeling weak. With wet eyes, he looked up at Wakatoshi, pleading. 

“Let me... take you to the nurse...” the brunet boy huffed. He’d inhaled sharply once in surprise when he’d caught Shouyo, and now he was clenching his teeth and trying to keep his sanity about him. Shouyo tugged at his shirt, too hot and unaware of what was going on. Little bits and pieces connected in his mind, as he was carried to the nurse’s office and given meds. A hand held his and he could recall Wakatoshi’s voice, just words here and there, nothing that made much sense. Finally, the nurse shooed Wakatoshi off, but Shouyo was awake enough in that moment to see the look of pity Wakatoshi tossed him. His heart seized in his chest and he croaked out a harsh, “-toshi-“ He was asleep again a moment later, and when he awoke once more, he was alone. 

“You’ve entered your first heat,” the nurse explained when he came back, a beta male, unaffected. “Do you have pills to take?”

“My mom...” Shouyo said in a hoarse voice he barely recognized. He felt very dry, trying to wet his mouth. He was still burning up, but somehow it wasn’t as bad as before. He felt dizzy even as he lay still. The thing in his undies still itched.

“Do you know how to masturbate? Or maybe you have toys?”

“Wha-?” choked Hinata with giant eyes, shaking his head wildly. 

“You’ll need something,” the nurse told him. “Have your mom explain what you should do, since I’m assuming she’s an Omega like you.”

 _An Omega like you._ No one had ever put it that way, and Shouyo felt ashamed and dirty. He still wore Natsu’s uniform, his hair clips askew by now, but all he could think of was Wakatoshi, Wakatoshi. Heat rolled through him again and he groaned. The nurse gave him a concerned look.

“Whatever you do, you’re too young for sex. Even if you have a crush-“

“No!” yelped Shouyo, pulling the sheets over his head as the nurse watched. 

“That boy from before...” he murmured quietly, shifting away from the cot Shouyo laid on. 

Shouyo scrubbed at his hair, but Wakatoshi clung to him. This was just his heat talking, just his body’s response to an alpha. Shouyo felt nothing but confusion for Wakatoshi. He curled up into a ball and shut his eyes again to sleep once more. 

x

Shouyo had spent a week at home, and today was his first day back at school. He changed uniforms with his sister, rushing to her classroom with his head down. He stopped as he rounded the corner before her class, froze. Wakatoshi looked too out of place amongst the short, excited girls. He stood leaning against the wall just outside the door to Natsu’s classroom, and Shouyo didn’t know what to do. Meekly, he approached, hoping maybe he could just skip inside, but dark green eyes caught his as he tried to dart past.

“Hey,” Wakatoshi said quietly as he stood up straight again, eyes drilling into Shouyo’s. The redhead froze, head and eyes down. His cheeks flushed red.

“Hi,” he squeaked out in confusion. 

Wakatoshi shifted closer; Shouyo could hear his blood rushing in his ears. “I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay.”

Shouyo swallowed, trying to understand what the other wanted from him. The Alpha has never showed a lick of interest before, so why now? Shouyo knitted his fingers together and fiddled with the edge of his skirt. Couldn’t Wakatoshi see he was okay now? 

“Well,” murmured Wakatoshi suddenly, actually sounding awkward himself. He shuffled his feet in Shouyo’s field of vision, and the smaller male curiously raised his head a little, eyes wide. Wakatoshi had his hands in his pants pockets, his fingers curling and uncurling inside like a nervous habit. “I guess you’re okay.”

And just like that, he was gone, Shouyo finally looking up in Wakatoshi’s wake. His heart was racing for some reason. At recess, he pushed Natsu’s uniform back at her. 

“I’ll be okay now,” he whispered urgently, Natsu’s brows raised in concern. He couldn’t meet her eyes. “Thank you, nee-chan.”

She shuffled out of his uniform and they traded, Shouyo feeling awkward now in his pants and sweater. He scrubbed the material against his skin and looked up at his sister through orange lashes. “Thank you,” he stressed again, as he turned and walked out of the bathroom. 

If Wakatoshi would be coming around, it would be best if he developed a friendship with Natsu, not Shouyo. Besides, Shouyo wasn’t sure if he could handle another interaction with the male.

x

“Shouyo, time for school!” yelled their mother up the stairs, and Shouyo groaned as he rolled over and stared blearily at his alarm clock. He shot up in panic when he saw the numbers displayed. His sister burst in and scolded him. Hinata was nearly 17 now, and Natsu was 15. She’d became a gorgeous young lady, and Hinata was still a short, soft Omega boy. Hinata groaned as he flopped back to bed, wondering if he could fake his heat. But his sister hauled him out and pushed clothes at him. 

“Get dressed, Sho!” 

Shouyo missed his meek little sister who would adoringly call him, “Nii-chan~”. He sighed wearily and trudged to the bathroom they still shared. 

x 

Shouyo and Natsu walked out of their school together. Not much had changed since elementary school. No one spoke to them, and they spent most of their time together. Being in separate classes got a little easier over the years, and Natsu’s work pretending to be him when they were smaller had helped keep the bullies away. For a while, Shouyo had been known as the Strong Omega, but now he was just Shouyo again, tiny, wiry, mess of orange curls. Anyone could tell the two siblings apart now, but Natsu still rocked the short, messy curls with Shouyo, and proudly so. 

Wakatoshi had never come again to Natsu’s classroom after Shouyo went back to his own, and Shouyo had been a little sad for his sister, and perhaps sad for himself as well. They had had minimal contact, but Shouyo had decided for himself that it was best to steer clear of Wakatoshi when he could, to be good and let everything play out as it should. Of course, they still needed a plan for the obvious second gender problem, which was still a tightly kept Hinata family secret, but Natsu had now had a few years to think about a solution. 

“I have to marry him,” she whispered to Shouyo as they walked home hand in hand, quiet save for their footsteps and now her voice. “Papa and Mama are relying on this marriage, and I cannot bring disgrace on our family or the Ushijima’s.”

“But, nee-chan, there are things...” Shouyo murmured with wide eyes, afraid to speak too loud, but Natsu knew all too well how her body differed from Shouyo’s. She had been by his side for every heat, the fact that they were siblings the only thing protecting her from his strong pheromones. Shouyo, despite having tried many medicines, found that nothing worked, and due to his strong smell, he had to take a week off school every time his heat came. He had a small collection of sex toys under his bed that he would use in shame when he was alone, but there were times when all he could do was suffer. He knew the reason why his heats were worse at times; it was why he’d decided to stay away from Wakatoshi as much as he could. 

He could not, he should not. He knew very well. And yet, something about Wakatoshi made his body light up with an insuppressible heat. It was purely physiological, he told himself, something about Wakatoshi’s specific pheromones. He just needed to find someone with a mix similar, someone who could make Shouyo feel the same way, who would be his mate, and then he would be all right. 

But the problem at hand was still the fact that Natsu was an alpha, and there were only so many things she could compensate for. She would never create slick, she would never go into heat, she would not be able to bear children, nor would she ever fully pleasure her Alpha mate. Alphas were usually highly incompatible, and there was no getting around that fact, especially when the Ushijima’s had been promised an Omega bride from the Hinata family. 

“I just need to pretend. I’ll find a way, whatever I have to do. I can be demure and obedient. I can...” Her voice trailed off as she stared into space, eyes unfocused. Shouyo didn’t say a word, as all the ways that this was impossible ran through his head. He knew Natsu was more than aware of all of her obvious Alpha traits. She was strong-headed and stubborn, her own person, always taking care of everyone around her. She was smart and decisive, fearless and grounded. She was Shouyo’s exact opposite. Shouyo was weak-minded and easily swayed in most things, giving way for Alphas’ and Betas’ direction. He preferred to be the one taken care of, as he blundered most things he tried to do himself. He was clumsy and emotional, full of fear and washed this way and that by his ever-churning emotions. He was, in a word, everything that was “wrong with” the weaker sex. He was highly aware of his glaring flaws. He knew. 

As they sat around the dinner table that night, Natsu quietly told their parents her resolve. Their omega mother protested, but their father was strangely quiet, his pride on the line. He had to carry this family, and he and Natsu, as Alphas, knew all too well what that meant. They could not let shame come upon their name or those they loved. They had to protect, to provide, to keep their family safe. 

“If you have the resolve,” he murmured quietly, his wife still panicked and trying to convince her daughter this was a bad idea. Shouyo was silent as tears streamed down his face, as his mother pointed out everything he’d been too meek to before. 

“Darling!” But the patriarch of the family just watched his youngest child, the two Alphas sharing a look calmly over the dinner table. 

“I do, Papa,” she murmured quietly.

“I will contact the Ushijimas,” their father said, and that was the end of the discussion. The two Omegas went quiet in the face of their Alpha counterparts. There was nothing to be said, nothing to make this situation any better. Natsu was resolved to do her best, and Shouyo had to honor that. 

The pit in his stomach grew, and that night, his heat came early, stress making his body all out of whack. 

x

“Shouyo, are you sure you’re okay?” 

His heat had been dragging on, but he couldn’t skip school any longer. With his mama’s pills, he could keep his symptoms in check. He felt mostly okay during the day, his body only showing signs at night that his heat still clung to him, annoyingly. He pulled on his uniform with trembling hands, shaking his head at his sister as she watched him. Contradictorily, he said, “I’m fine, nee-chan.”

She sighed wearily, but didn’t say another word. She took his hand as they walked outside, and Shouyo clung to her arm, eyes darting everywhere for signs of danger, but they were left alone like always. Natsu walked Shouyo to his class, and regretfully she left him there as the bell rang, calling her to her own classroom. Shouyo sank down in his desk and tried to make himself as small as possible. In gym class, he sat out. 

There was a yell from the left of the field his classmates played soccer on, the upperclassmen playing baseball on the field next door. Shouyo’s eyes slid over to the game, quietly distracted for a moment. His eyes didn’t focus on anything, but as another shout rang through the air, suddenly Shouyo’s stomach flipped head over heels and he clasped a hand over his mouth. As he stared with wide, glassy eyes, he spotted him. Heat shivered over Shouyo’s skin, and he wondered why, why. He should be fine during the day, especially with the meds he’d taken this morning, and yet... 

He had a few minutes to get back inside and to the nurse’s office before his scent spread enough to be a disturbance. He rose shakily from the bench, but that was as far as he got before his knees gave out from under him. He could feel it, could feel the instant Wakatoshi’s eyes had snapped to where he now stood. As he crumpled to the grassy ground, a tall body was pushing his way through his classmates, making his way over. His olive eyes were locked on Hinata, but he wasn’t thinking clearly. Without a word, he grabbed Shouyo up and ran him inside. Shouyo shut his eyes and begged his body to calm down, but instead every step stirred him up more, more. If he inhaled too sharply, he could smell Wakatoshi. The tall boy didn’t look at him even once, eyes trained dead ahead, jaw locked. His fingers dug painfully into Shouyo’s skin. He tossed Shouyo down on the farthest cot from the door in the nurse’s office and backed away. Under his breath, he cursed, “You idiot. Who comes to school during their heat?” A hand pressed under Wakatoshi’s nose and over his mouth, and he looked almost sick from Shouyo’s smell choking the air. 

“I’m going to go find the nurse,” he gruffed, but like everyone was moving in slow motion compared to him, when he turned to the door, the school nurse was there. He’d finally smelled Shouyo, running as fast as he could. 

“You’re late,” husked Wakatoshi as he barreled out of the small room, head down and hand clutched over his face. A flash of olive glanced back before he turned outside the door, gone in a second, but the heat he had left Shouyo with ragged on. Shouyo turned on his cot and curled up, begging it to not be real, for his body to calm down. 

“I’ll call your mother,” the nurse murmured, knowing by now there was nothing he could do for Hinata. “Do you need a private moment? I can burn some incense to distract from your scent if you need to-“

“No-!” Shouyo yelped. He couldn’t masturbate with Wakatoshi’s scent still in his nose, the feel of his fingers and arms still so clear. “No,” he whimpered meekly just as Natsu rushed in. 

“Shouyo!” she yelped, and finally Shouyo began to cry. 

Oh my god, what was he supposed to do?


	3. Desperation and Affection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andddd now a longer chapter 😂

Shouyo would have rather done anything else, but it wasn’t like he could refuse. He watched numbly as his sister dressed in a pretty, pale green dress that looked wonderful against her skin, as he himself sat dismally staring at the suit he had to don for the day. With swishing skirts, Natsu came and sat by his feet, resting her arms and head on his knees. 

“What’s wrong, Shouyo?” she asked calmly, tracing circles on his knee, but he didn’t respond. He couldn’t. He hadn’t told Natsu or anyone about what had happened a few weeks ago when he’d been rushed to the nurse’s office at school. No one knew it was Wakatoshi that had ran him there, nor that he was the one who had started Shouyo’s last heat. It was two weeks later and Shouyo could not forget the feeling of the other boy’s fingers digging into his skin. He scrubbed at his eyes and bemoaned his lot. He was still trying to convince himself it was all just a biological reaction, but that lie was becoming less and less convincing. 

“Okay,” Natsu finally sighed as she stood up, brushing off her long skirt. When her eyes met his, he felt a pang of guilt so deep that it physically hurt him. 

“I don’t think I should go today,” he blurted out just as she was turning away. She whirled back in a second flat.

“Why?” she demanded, the Alpha in her roaring to life, and Shouyo shrank down under the weight of it. She sighed and asked again, more calmly, “Why is that, Sho?”

“I just... don’t think I’m needed...” He was lying through his teeth and she knew it. She stared him down for a long time. She knew he was hiding something, but his sister was too kind to point it out, knowing patience was the key with her older brother. 

“Of course you’re needed. You’re part of our family. You’re my brother. You have to size up my future husband... and help me behave properly.” Her voice went strangely quiet, and his brown eyes flashed up at her.

“Nee-chan, are you nervous?” he asked in surprise.

“Of course I am!” she yelped desperately, sinking down to his feet again. “I don’t know the first thing about being a good Omega!”

“Well, in that case, you should ask Mama,” Shouyo murmured quietly. 

“Shouyo!” Natsu begged, a scolding tone to his name. “Stop being silly. You’re a wonderful Omega, and a wonderful person, and so you have to help me be one too-! Please, Sho~”

“Well, for starters,” Shouyo said with a wince, “don’t yell at him.”

Natsu face pulled into a frown, but she solemnly nodded. 

“Don’t speak over him, don’t say his name without an honorific, don’t interject or give any opinion at all...” Shouyo listed off. He looked down at his sister and sighed heavily, finding it all hopeless. “Maybe you just shouldn’t speak at all,” he frowned, and she huffed in complaint. 

“Don’t do that either,” he told her with chagrin. 

“This is awful! Why did I ever tell Mama and Papa I could do this?!”

Shouyo stared down at his sister with big eyes, wondering himself how she’d thought herself capable of being demure and quiet. “It’s an awfully big mystery,” he agreed solemnly. 

She whined and sank against his knees again dramatically. Today was the final marriage meeting between the two families, now that Wakatoshi was of age and Natsu had presented, as far as they knew, as an omega. Shouyo wasn’t sure if he could sit across a table from Wakatoshi, let alone be in the same room. He got butterflies just thinking about it, a little nauseous. 

“I’ll have to go off with him and walk around their gardens or whatever and I have to pretend to be sweet?!” She buried her face in her folded arms and bemoaned her plight. Shouyo bit at his lips, thinking that sounded wonderful to him, but he was an Omega, and she was not. 

All he could offer her was, “Well, he probably won’t enjoy it either.”

She looked up with hopeful eyes at that, staring at him for a long beat of silence until they both giggled at the thought. “You’re not wrong,” Natsu snickered. 

A moment later, she whined, “Shouyo, can’t you do it for me?! They don’t have to know you’re not me!”

“Mama and Papa will know,” Shouyo said with a complicated frown. He almost wished he could take her place, as queasy as the thought made him. His palms were already sweaty, and he wasn’t the one who’d be under intense scrutiny. 

“I know...” she whimpered pitifully. He patted her head, unsure of what to do to comfort his sister now. It had felt so easy before, but Shouyo felt lost lately, in his role, his purpose. 

“Shouyo! You’re not dressed yet!” Their mother burst into the room and collected Natsu off the floor, scolding Shouyo. “We have to leave in five minutes! Darling, brush your hair!” Natsu bristled at that, but she obediently stalked to their bathroom to dig out her brush. Hurriedly, Shouyo’s mother helped him dress in his grey suit and plaid bow tie. The smile his sister gave him when she came out was the only thing that made Shouyo feel better.

“Oh, Sho~” she crooned affectionately as she swooped in to grab his hands. “Oh, look at you...”

With shining eyes, he looked up at his sister. She was gorgeous. Any man would be a fool to turn her down, second gender be damned. With a squeeze to her hands, he hoped Wakatoshi wouldn’t figure her out. And when he did, eventually, he hoped he would be all right with it. If Wakatoshi just fell in love with Natsu-

But then she opened her mouth and Shouyo grimaced. She sounded so crass as she tugged him down the stairs. 

“Natsu!” he yelped as a desperate reminder. She pursed her lips and murmured a bitter apology. This would probably be the hardest thing she’d have to do all day. But she could do it, and she would. Because she was a Hinata first and foremost, and her own pride could be squished down for that for one day. He took her hand firmly and smiled up at her. 

“Just be sweet,” he whispered gently. “And try not to speak too much...”

She bit her lip, trying to hide her big frown. 

x

The traditional Japanese restaurant they were to meet at was beautiful, and Shouyo thought that if anything, at least he could escape to the gardens if things went bad with him. Still, he was way too nervous and jittery. He was currently trying to calm his nerves, having excused himself to the bathroom as his stomach flipped and turned, his family walking around outside. He shut the stall door behind him and spent a good ten minutes making sure he didn’t have to throw up, and then he emerged to wash his face in the sink. When he stood up again to reach for paper towels, a voice behind startled him so badly he yelped aloud. His eyes shot open and he saw first his pale, wet face, and then Wakatoshi standing tall and awkward behind him. Instantly, heat flushed over Shouyo’s skin and he spun around, backing himself into a tiny corner by the sink. He should have smelled the other coming, as now Wakatoshi’s scent cloyed at his nose and heart and shook him up inside, but he’d been too preoccupied with his own thoughts. Calmly, Wakatoshi walked over and handed him some paper towels for his face. 

“I see you’re doing okay,” he gruffed out, but Shouyo was too caught up in staring up at the boy. God, he was huge, insanely tall for a Japanese 18 year old male. Shouyo looked like a tiny shrimp compared to him, his eye level at the middle of Wakatoshi’s chest. Finally, he realized that the other had spoken to him, and he yelped again, eyes darting to gorgeous olive, but that was a mistake. Heat screamed through his system and now he was sweating everywhere. 

No, no, this couldn’t be happening. Shouyo had just come off his heat three weeks ago, and there was no possible way he was starting again, not now, not for another week again. It was impossible, implausible, and yet as he stared up at Wakatoshi with giant, saucer-sized eyes, he knew absolutely that his body was trying to go into heat. 

Wakatoshi raised a hand and covered his face, frowning. “Do you always do that?” he gritted out between clenched teeth, breathing heavy behind his hand. Shouyo yelped.

“So sorry-! So, so sorry!” He hurriedly wiped his face and tried to run past Wakatoshi to get out, but a long, strong arm caught him around the waist and held him in the bathroom, a tiny enclosed space. 

“You cannot go out there like this,” Wakatoshi ground out in great effort. “Are you insane? I could smell you from a mile away today.”

Shouyo froze. How would Wakatoshi smell him if he hadn’t been experiencing heat symptoms until now? He turned wet eyes up at the man, but Wakatoshi was purposefully looking away, hands gripped tight over his face. Shouyo’s heart stirred. 

“If you don’t let me go, it’ll be worse for you,” he bravely whispered out. Wakatoshi’s hand clenched against his belly first, and then he pulled it away, turning to the mirror. 

“If your sister is anything like you,” Wakatoshi murmured as Shouyo rushed past him, as he ran outside with those words ringing in his ears. There was a bitterness in that tone that made Shouyo’s eyes burn. He suddenly understood very clearly, the fisted hands and the distance. Wakatoshi didn’t want to find his smell attractive. The only thing that had saved Shouyo so far from being raped by the boy, he suddenly knew, was that Wakatoshi would be repulsed to touch a boy like himself. 

With tears blinding him, Shouyo ran out to the farthest part of the garden. When his sister texted asking where he was, he begged her to make the meeting go on without him. He couldn’t; if he set foot in that room, everyone would know he was an Omega and his sister was not, and worst of all, Wakatoshi would... 

Wakatoshi was not concerned for him, not in the way Shouyo realized he’d hoped the man was. Whatever Wakatoshi’s motivations for approaching Shouyo, it had nothing to do with the feelings burning a hole in Shouyo’s heart. With startling clarity, though he’d likely known it for weeks, he realized that he was absolutely in love with Ushijima Wakatoshi. It wasn’t even funny; just the smell or sight of the man alone was enough to push Shouyo’s body to heat. He couldn’t be around the brunet. He clenched his hands as he curled up in a corner of the garden, hidden and scent slightly masked by the flowers around him as he tried to breathe, to calm himself down. He would have to ask his mom to get him better drugs, because he could not go through this every single time. For the sake of his sister, his family, he had to make his body behave. 

x

“Shouyo. What’s wrong?”

Natsu stared at her brother in the dark of their bedroom. Shouyo wasn’t even sure how he’d managed to calm his body down after the encounter with Wakatoshi, but by the end of it, all anyone knew was that he’d been absent for no reason at all. His parents had scolded him, but Shouyo couldn’t even tell them why he’d disappeared. Now he’d awoken his sister from sleep with his crying, and he stuffed his face angrily to his pillow. This wasn’t... fair! It couldn’t be right at all! What was he supposed to even do?

“Nothing,” Shouyo bit out in frustration. “Go to sleep, nee-chan.”

A moment later, his bed dipped and he knew it was useless. He curled up around his pillow and wept a river into it, his mind screaming, _It’s not fair, it’s not fair, it’s just not fair!_ Who had even decided he should be the Omega? If someone thought it’d be a funny joke, well, Shouyo wasn’t laughing at all.

A warm hand pressed to his back, and slowly, Natsu began stroking it. Tonight, over dinner, their parents had announced to Shouyo that Natsu would be marrying into the Ushijima family at the end of the year, only three weeks away now. Shouyo had been unable to describe the feeling that had swelled violently in his chest. The words he should say, his objections, were silenced by bitten lips and a clenched jaw. Shouyo could not say it, not now. He’d gotten this far; he could go three more weeks.

Quietly, he was lulled to sleep. His sister was deathly quiet as she tip-toed back to her own bed after her brother was finally fast asleep. Her mind raced and she felt sick; today had been one of the hardest things she’d ever had to do. She wasn’t stupid either; she had noticed how Shouyo’s scent had been a little bit sweeter, heavier like it was during his heat when she’d found him sitting alone in the garden outside. She hadn’t said a word, but she wasn’t stupid. 

With a heavy heart, she too fell asleep, wondering what their lives were demanding of them. 

x

The halls of their school grew slowly quieter over the next few weeks, students entrenched in year-end exams, and Shouyo found it peaceful as he lay quietly on the cot in the nurse’s office alone. He was sitting out PE in here today, too many nearly-catastrophic events having happened the last few months for him to risk it anymore. He stared outside the window as snow quietly fell, the trees that had carried pink petals now barren and grey. Still, the scene outside was beautiful, and just like Shouyo’s heart, it was cold and quiet. 

A soft sigh settled through the air, but it was the scent it carried more than the sound that made Shouyo’s head whip around. In the doorway stood Wakatoshi, a damp cloth pressed to a bleeding elbow, and he stared silently at Shouyo. 

A long pause later, Wakatoshi awkwardly lifted his elbow to bring attention to it. “Is the nurse here?”

“Ah!” squeaked Shouyo as he shuffled around on the bed and off, rushing to the cabinet with band aids and creams without a second thought. “He’s not- I can help-“

Jars and bottles clattered as Shouyo yanked open the glass cabinet doors, and he barely caught the package that rattled off the shelf and fell towards him. He yelped and caught it against his chest, no one to catch him as he stumbled backwards. 

That’s what he thought until he fell back against something solid and warm, a disgruntled sigh shifting the air above him, and he glanced up warily. Wakatoshi wasn’t looking at him as he grabbed some anti-bacterial cream and band aids, shutting the cabinet doors again like Shouyo wasn’t resting right against his chest. The redhead spun around with a harsh swallow and grabbed the stuff out of Wakatoshi’s one hand, shooeing him to the small stool by the bed. 

“Sit,” he whispered in a quivering voice. He couldn’t believe this was happening right now, his hands shaking so badly the bandaids in the box rattled. With a deep sigh, Wakatoshi sat down heavily. He pulled his washcloth off his elbow and Shouyo nearly threw up everywhere. Blood ran thick through the mangled flesh of an elbow, Shouyo sick where he stood. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t!” he yelped as he threw the bandaids back at Wakatoshi, who silently watched them fall to the bed. Shouyo whirled around, sick. The cloth held beneath Wakatoshi’s elbow was the only thing catching the blood as he stared blankly at the box and tube. 

Guilt washed over Shouyo as he listened to the other struggle to clean his wound and not get blood everywhere, and finally he swallowed a thick lump of nausea and spun back around, eyes narrowed so he saw the least amount of blood possible. “I’m sorry, I’ll do it!”

He rushed back to Wakatoshi and opened too many bandaids, pulling tissues from the shelf nearby and smearing too much cream onto them. With trembling hands, he tried to blindly clean Wakatoshi’s wound. A heavy sigh settled around him once again and Shouyo winced, heat rising to his cheeks as Wakatoshi grabbed the tissues and cleaned his elbow off himself. 

“Band-aid,” he gruffed, and Shouyo obediently handed them off. He couldn’t look at the other, brown eyes sharply avoiding him. 

Tissues and band aid wrappers were tossed and Wakatoshi let out a weary sigh. 

“You still look like you’re going to throw up. Are you bad with blood?”

His voice alone was making color rush to Shouyo’s face, as he stared a hole into the floor in the corner, desperate not to make eye contact. When it came to Natsu, he’d always been fine with her wounds, but how could he say that more than the sight of the blood, it was the smell that was sending him reeling right now. Plus, seeing the man all torn up had violently cemented his feelings in his chest, and now he felt heavy and numb. 

“Hey! Shouyo, was it?”

A messy head of orange curls bounced as Shouyo’s head whipped forward, and he stared at Wakatoshi with giant eyes. He hadn’t even thought the other knew his name. He stared with wide eyes at the brunet. 

“Listen, I feel like somehow we got off on the wrong foot, and since we’re gonna be... family soon...” Wakatoshi sighed as he scratched at the back of his head, staring at Shouyo like he was trying to figure the redhead out. 

“Yes!” squeaked Shouyo, thinking that the tension Wakatoshi felt was all his fault. “I’m so sorry!”

But shockingly, Wakatoshi just shook his head, face confused. “See, that just makes me feel like I’ve really done something wrong. Why are you apologizing to me..?”

“I don’t know but I think I did something wrong!” yelped Shouyo in a single rush of air, eyes wide and back ram-rod straight as he stared at Wakatoshi. 

“Loosen up,” sighed Wakatoshi. “You’re so tightly wound all the time.”

He scratched at his chin as he murmured quietly, “You’re nothing like your sister.”

Shouyo’s whole body flushed red, and he raised his hands in his sister’s defense. “No, she’s great! Please take good care of her-! Please...” His voice faded away as he realized that he didn’t mean what he was saying, not in the way he should. As he stared at Wakatoshi, he became startlingly aware of the fact that he couldn’t ask this man to take care of his sister when he was the one who wanted to be... in her place instead...

“Yeah... please...” he choked out, Wakatoshi staring at him with furrowed eyebrows, lips pressed into a tight line. 

“You’re so... weird. And yet here I still am...” Wakatoshi turned his head down and mumbled to himself, confusion making his face clench up. 

Shouyo thought that was the end of it, as Wakatoshi sat and tenderly rubbed at the spot above his wound, silent. He was startled nearly out of his chair when the brunet spoke again, however. 

“Hey, what’s it like to be a guy and an Omega?”

“Miserable,” choked out Shouyo without even thinking, blatantly honest in the face of the other male. He blinked at the Alpha, not sure why he’d said it, but he didn’t take it back. “It’s awful,” he stressed. 

“Yeah, I get that...” murmured Wakatoshi, staring around the nurse’s office, at the mussed sheets on the cot. “I mean, do you even get to be a normal kid? Seems like you’re in heat all the time.” Wakatoshi’s eyes narrowed as he turned back to Shouyo. “Like now...”

Shouyo tried to physically pull his scent back and reign his body in with flailing arms, but Wakatoshi just watched him, unamused. Shouyo was only getting hotter and his stomach was twisting up more and more. It wasn’t like it was anything he could help, though, not until he was alone. 

“So do you guys marry Alpha girls or... what?”

“No,” stuttered out Shouyo, eyes as wide as saucers. “I mean, not all of us-!”

“Oh, I’ve heard about it. Some of you are gay, huh? Is that true?” With dark olive eyes, pupils tiny, Wakatoshi looked at the redhead. “Which one are you gonna be?” he asked in a dead serious tone, eyes on Shouyo. 

Shouyo went beet red, but god, some part of him really had to ask. “And... would it disgust you if your future brother-in-law... married an alpha man?”

Wakatoshi was silent for a long time, his eyes never leaving Shouyo’s face. Finally he stood and sighed. 

“It’s not like it’d have anything to do with me,” he said as he stalked out, leaving Shouyo with his heat and misery. It was as much of a confirmation about Wakatoshi’s thoughts on the matter as Shouyo was going to get, but it was enough. His heart sank. 

And still, Shouyo thought. _And still..._

x

It was quiet when Shouyo waddled back into their shared room, towel around his head as he rubbed his hair dry from his bath. His sister was asleep, or silent, in her bed, and Shouyo stood with his back against the door he’d just closed, his mind full. He let his towel drop into their laundry basket beside the door and padded forward on silent feet. His bed was on the right of their room, but he went left. Carefully, he lifted covers and sheets and crawled into the warm cocoon his sister had formed. 

“Sho?” she whispered into the quiet room as the redhead snuggled under her chin, and she wrapped a heavy arm around his waist. 

“Sorry to wake you, nee-chan.”

She didn’t respond, and he wondered if she’d fallen asleep again until she shifted and let out a lonely sigh. “Tomorrow’s the day.”

Shouyo felt his gut curl up, and he knew what it was now. The ugly emotion had been plaguing him all month, maybe even all year. Jealousy had taken root but it had taken him this long to see it. 

“I’ll miss this,” Natsu murmured into damp hair, impossible to tell from her voice alone what she was feeling. Shouyo snuggled closer, hugging her. 

“Me too, nee-chan.” He didn’t want to cry, but he was so frustrated at this point that anything and everything was making the tears spill from his eyes. Wakatoshi’s scent and words clung to Shouyo, and no matter how much he bathed or crowded his head with other things, they never faded. He clenched his fists now against his sister’s back, thinking he’d made it this far without saying a word, but he couldn’t, he couldn’t not say anything tonight. 

“Are you finally ready to tell me what’s been bothering you for the past few months?”

His sister’s voice rang almost deafeningly loud in their quiet room, and Shouyo hid against her chest. He should have known better than to think he could hide anything from her. What was his sister’s opinion of Wakatoshi? Despite being an alpha, did she like him? Was she happy to marry the other? He was quiet and stern-looking, but maybe Natsu had found him to be incredibly kind and selfless, like Shouyo had. 

“Do you like him?” he choked out past tears already flowing, instead of saying what had been on his mind since god-knows when. He was only thinking, but thinking these days was enough to make it feel like Shouyo’s world was crashing down around him. 

Natsu sighed long and heavy, silence falling again. “I don’t know, Sho. How can anyone know? It’s only been twice that I’ve met him.”

 _I knew._ Shouyo grimaced and clenched tighter at his sister’s night shirt. Still, he wasn’t sure he could just say it, because what if she became angry, what if she got jealous too, what if she would also dislike the idea of a male Omega falling for-

“Whatever it is, Shouyo, just spill it out. Don’t worry about my feelings on the matter at all.” A hand brushed through unruly red curls and Shouyo bit his lip, worried. And yet, his sister could probably smell it on him. She would always read him like an open book. 

“I love him, Natsu.”

Outside, crickets softly chirped, but inside it was deadly silent. Natsu’s hand combed once in a while through his hair. 

“Is it fair for me to assume,” Natsu said in a flat voice, “that he’s the reason your heats have been coming as randomly as they have?”

“Yeah-“ choked Shouyo even as his sister’s voice scared him a bit, made him desperate to know what she was thinking. “I’m so sorry, nee-ch-“

“Well, you are the true Omega after all.”

Her words silenced him, and he trembled. She was angry. Of course she was. He was in love with the man that was meant to be her husband tomorrow. Of course, of course she’d be angry. Of course, of course, ofcourseofcourseofcourse-

“I’m not angry.”

Shouyo’s head jerked back and he stared at his sister with giant, unseeing eyes. It was too dark and his eyes were not adjusted from being shut this whole time. 

“In fact, I’m relieved.”

The smaller redhead shivered against his sister’s chest, really needing to know what she was thinking. Her eyes slid down to his in the dark and she watched him. 

“Tomorrow, Shouyo, come with me. I promise... you won’t be sad anymore.”

With the ominous words, she tucked him back against her chest, and with worries weighing him down, Shouyo settled into a fitful sleep. 

x

“You look awful,” Natsu murmured to Shouyo as they walked hand-in-hand to the family car. Despite the wealth the eldest Hinata had earned in his lifetime, they did not live extravagantly. Their house was small, a two bedroom, the house his parents had bought when they’d first married. Back then it had probably seemed large, and then perfect when Shouyo had been born, but even if they thought it was small now, it was home, it was cozy. Natsu and Shouyo had certainly never minded. And today would be the last day Natsu would sleep with him. Loneliness like an ice pick stabbed into Shouyo’s heart, and he cried silently all the way to the wedding venue. Natsu never let go of his hand. 

The family was ushered into the large venue, the attendant trying to part the men from the women until Natsu demanded Shouyo stay by her side. They chose not to argue with the bride, one attendant quietly leading the eldest Hinata off to a room to get ready. 

“She will bring Hinata-san’s outfit,” the other murmured with a smile as she glanced at Shouyo. Today, the age of the family’s wealth did not matter. As per tradition, everyone would don a kimono today. It was Natsu and Shouyo’s first time. 

Three women and Shouyo shuffled down a long hallway, not stopping until they came to the last door at the end of the passage, and the attendant unlocked it for them. The three held their breath and expelled them together at the sight before them. Bathed in glorious sunlight hung his sister’s wedding kimono, and suddenly it was all too real. Natsu pulled Shouyo into the room with her before anyone could see his tears falling, and the door closed behind their mother. 

“Natsu, you’ll be so beautiful,” she whispered, weeping as she stared at the gorgeous gown before them. 

Natsu turned to her mother, pulling Shouyo to her side and burying his head to her chest as she whispered, “Mama, can you leave nii-chan and I-?”

The use of “brother” shocked Shouyo, but he was pulled to silence against her chest, and quietly their mother looked them over. Shouyo’s skin was rushing with heat and his stomach was rolling. He didn’t think he could do this. He couldn’t do this. 

“I understand, Natsu.”

His mother’s voice shocked Shouyo, and he tried to look up at her face. She was smiling, her eyes trained on her daughter’s like they could communicate secretly. She took Natsu’s hand for a moment. 

“Congratulations, my child.”

And then she was gone, her general statement fading into silence and leaving Shouyo frozen against his sister’s side. They were alone again, like they’d been last night. With teary eyes, he looked up at his sister. 

“I can’t do this, Natsu.”

She quietly pressed her lips together, glancing over her shoulder to the dress, and then back to Shouyo. She tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear and slowly, she smiled at her older brother. 

“I’ve grown a lot more than you, but you still look so much like me.” She rubbed at his chin and smiled. “I’m sorry, nii-chan, for all the stress and undue worry I’ve caused you. I’m sure I wasn’t a perfect sister, but I always tried my best. And still you cried and suffered a lot.”

She pulled him to the dress, hanging against a full-length mirror. She lifted the heavy top kimono off the hanger and Shouyo couldn’t bear to watch his sister don it. He shut his eyes and lowered his head.

“It’s a good thing I kept my head down every time I met his family,” she murmured to his ear as something heavy was laid over his shoulders. With a start, he looked up at his sister. The hood on his head slipped off and his eyes darted to the mirror beside them. 

“Shouyo, as the Omega of the Hinata family, it should be your honor to marry that Alpha, and it is my duty, even as your sister, to ensure that this happens.”

Tiny, white hands clutched at the silken kimono on his shoulders, disbelief washing over him. Was she teasing him? Natsu had never been so cruel, though. As he stared at her reflection, she smiled sweetly at him, patting his hair. 

“If you keep your hood up and your head down, no one will know.” Slowly, she slipped down to her knees before her brother, and he stiffly turned back to her. “Shouyo, how could I possibly be so cruel as to marry the man that you love? Second gender aside, more than anyone, you know him, and so you should be the one. To marry him. Shouyo, I just want to see you smile again.”

Fat tears slid down Shouyo’s face, thoughts rushing heavy through his mind at the speed of light. He wasn’t worthy, this wasn’t right, Wakatoshi would discover it immediately. Would he be angry, would he call it off? Would he drag their family’s name through the mud, or would he stay silent simply to preserve his own family’s name? 

“No, nee-chan-“ he choked out, but she cupped his cheeks and shook her head. 

“Shouyo, tell me again how you feel about him.”

Clutching at her sleeves, he wept. “I love him, Natsu.”

“Then what else is there to say?” She smiled up at her brother, eyes roaming over him. Slowly, she lifted his hood. “Just a bit of make-up, and no one will suspect a thing.”

“And what if my heat-“ he clutched at his chest, at the robe hanging heavy over his shoulders. 

“They have precautions in that case. After all, they are expecting an Omega to marry an Alpha today, and that is what they shall have.”

“They are expecting you, Natsu!” His whole body shook with his sobs. 

“Shouyo, please.” She fell silent suddenly, her face pulling sad. This was what she had been hiding all this time. An Alpha, strong and brave, had donned a face for the occasion, but she couldn’t hold it anymore. “I don’t want to marry him...” Her own voice broke and Shouyo went deathly still, watching as his proud, strong sister shed a tear. Oh. All this time she had been the person she needed to be, but inside, she had been crying all along. 

“I don’t love him. I’m only 15. I want to marry for love, Shouyo, as you should too.”

Quietly, Shouyo’s hands unclenched and he smoothed his robe to his chest. He wiped his face and lowered his hands to his side.

“Natsu,” he whispered. Wet, brown eyes so like his own looked up, and he smiled so wide it nearly broke his face in half. “Thank you.”

This was the best gift, the best outcome he could have hoped for; whatever the future brought, for at least one moment, he could belong to his Alpha. 

“Help me get ready?” Shouyo whispered as excitement rose up in his chest, as his heart beat strong inside. 

“Of course!” cried Natsu with pride in her voice as she stood up again, taking Shouyo’s hands in hers. “Nii-chan, congratulations on your wedding. May you and your husband be blessed with all of the love and babies you could ever want.”

Shouyo giggled, cheeks blazing red at the thought of if. He would not think of what happened when Wakatoshi found out, because he would very quickly. Shouyo would only think of this moment, of his happiness now. 

With reverent hands, Natsu helped her brother undress and then dress again in the heavy kimono. The finest silk of bright white made up the robe, heavy but cool, soft against his bare skin. With the help of a tutorial on her phone, she helped him bind his obi. She combed his hair and powdered his face, adding a stain and gloss to his lips. Eyebrows and lashes were darkened, and when he looked in the mirror again, he barely recognized himself. 

“You were always the prettier one,” Natsu whispered sweetly as she pulled his hood up over his head. She looked at her brother in the mirror and sighed in success, smiling. “I will miss you. Our room will feel empty with you gone.”

“You’ll find someone,” he said as he turned to grip her hands. He was beaming from ear to ear, too happy to hide it. “A wonderful Omega or even a Beta, who is sweet and kind and loves you endlessly.”

“I’m not sure if I can find someone like you out there. You’re one of a kind,” she teased, and Shouyo swatted at her even as he smiled.

“You’ll find someone better than me,” he whispered with shut eyes. “I’m sorry for all the trouble, nee-chan, and thank you for always taking care of me.”

She patted his shoulder and shrugged. “Now, you make sure Ushijima-san treats you well. He doesn’t look like he’s had enough experience with Omegas to know how to properly-“

A hand slid over Natsu’s cool one on his shoulder, stopping her fretting. “We’ll figure it out, he and I.”

“Yes,” hushed Natsu with tears in her eyes. “Of course.” Her lip trembled and Shouyo knew what she was thinking. She was losing her precious brother, having to give him over to another Alpha. For years, she had been Shouyo’s source of strength and his reliance, but now it would be another. He prayed she would find someone wonderful to dote on like she’d done with him. Natsu was, after all, a natural Alpha, her blood yearning for someone to care for. And he, an Omega, had been spoiled by her for years. Turning back to the mirror, he wondered if it would be hard for Wakatoshi. To love him, to care for him, to provide what an Alpha needed to for their Omega. Would he be recognized as Wakatoshi’s by the man himself? Would Wakatoshi accept it?

“Stop worrying, Shouyo. Smile for him.”

He raised his head, eyes meeting his sister’s in the reflection of the mirror. “Yes,” he whispered with a growing smile. She was giving him this gift, and so he shouldn’t worry about the future, but focus on the present, be happy. He watched his sister dress in the kimono that had been meant for him, filling it better than he ever could, and when the knock sounded on the door to announce it was time, he slowly rose, tall geta sandals adding enough to his height so he stood eye level with his sister for the first time in a long while. 

“Are you ready?” she hushed proudly, and he nodded his head, dipping it low as he smiled. “Just like that,” she murmured with a pat to his head. All she could see were his pretty, plump lips under the edge of the big hood. 

Just like this, her brother would become another’s.


	4. Loneliness

The hall was quiet as Shouyo stood alone, only an attendant by the door to open it when he was called in. The silence ate at him, and he couldn’t help the tremble in his hands, which he hid in the long sleeves of his kimono, clenched together. He kept his head down; he had to. Worries flooded his mind. He barely noticed when the doors opened, all eyes inside the ceremony room turned to him, all except for a familiar dark olive pair. Wakatoshi sat facing the small shrine before him, the priest just ahead, silent. He sat tall on his knees, and even just the view of his back, in his traditional black kimono, was enough to stir Shouyo up. His groom was handsome, the most handsome. All the faces in the room washed away, nerves and excitement mingling together as he made his way down the aisle. He stopped just before the pillow set out for him, staring at it. Once he knelt down, beside Wakatoshi, he would no longer be a Hinata. Nervous eyes darted to his left, and his mother caught his gaze. Oh, he panicked, but she softly, softly smiled, giving the smallest little bow of her head. Of course she had known. She knew better than anyone else when it came to her children. She raised her hand slightly and motioned it down. _Kneel, Shouyo. Smile._

He turned his head back down to the pillow before him and slowly he sank to his knees. Wakatoshi didn’t move to look at him, stiff and formal. It was better this way, Shouyo knew. His body was already too warm, and one look from Wakatoshi would ruin his barely-there control. 

The priest nodded and began chanting, reciting old traditional scripts of the purification ritual. They had traditions to follow; Shouyo had never attended a traditional ceremony like this, so he quietly followed the priest’s words for instructions. 

“Take her hand,” murmured the priest when he’d put away his papers, the purification ritual and vows done. Wakatoshi paused for only a moment, before lifting his hand and holding it out for Shouyo. Carefully, he slid his small, hot fingers against a big, cool palm. Thick fingers closed around his tiny hand, and he shivered. Still, Wakatoshi had not looked at him. 

Three sets of sake cups were set before them, filled by attendants who moved in silence. As Wakatoshi lifted his first cup, Shouyo followed, and the priest called, “This represents the Hinata family.” They drank. 

“This represents the Ushijima family,” and they drank the second cup. 

“This represents you two, a new family.” Again they drank, the last cup emptied and refilled again. Once more, Wakatoshi lifted the first cup and Shouyo followed, heart hammering now. He’d never had alcohol before either. 

“This represents the flaws of hatred.” They drank. “This represents that flaws of passion,” and they drank again. “And this represents the flaws of ignorance.” Wakatoshi’s hand squeezed ever so slightly on Shouyo’s, a spasm, but quietly they drank. 

Once more, three cups filled, and the priest spoke one last time. “And now the representation of your freedom from those flaws as you enter together, becoming one.” Shouyo’s head swam by the last and final cup, and was it his imagination or was Wakatoshi’s grip growing tighter on his hand. As the attendants moved the cups to the four parents, and they were refilled, the parents now drinking three times of three cups, Wakatoshi leaned over and finally he looked at Shouyo, leaning down enough to see just under his hood. Shouyo’s head jerked up until his eyes met fierce olive and he froze. Wakatoshi wasn’t smiling. He was looking at Shouyo with something unreadable in his eyes, something that made Shouyo’s blood run cold. 

“I knew it was you,” Wakatoshi murmured, barely audible, words only for Shouyo. Shouyo clenched his eyes, not sure what he was expecting, but Wakatoshi just pulled back and returned to his proper sitting posture. His fingers went loose on Shouyo’s and the redhead’s heart dropped down to his feet. Cold washed through him, his head going strangely empty. Their parents finished, their sakaki twigs offered to God, and suddenly Wakatoshi was pulling Shouyo up to stand. He ducked his swimming head down as he rose to wobbly feet, as he shuffled after Wakatoshi, who marched Shouyo past crowds of family and friends and to a small room to the left of the ceremony hall. The door shut with a finality that made Shouyo’s heart stutter to bare silence, and the cold air weighed heavy on him, weighing down the kimono he had filthied by the act he had just performed. He knew. He knew Wakatoshi was angry. He had seen it on his face, had felt it in the way the man’s hand had slipped away from his as soon as they were out of sight. He was enraged, and Shouyo could not say a single word.

Because they were wed, and god, he was so happy. Never had he been happier than this, even now. Even as he knew it could all end in just a moment.

“You’re lucky I refuse to bring dishonor on my family,” Wakatoshi said in a deadly voice. Shouyo’s blood froze, but when he raised his head and looked at Wakatoshi, heat burst through his veins and he couldn’t be upset. He was too happy, stupidly so. When Wakatoshi slapped his face, he accepted it with a smile, head turned to the side and eyes closed as the sting slowly faded, cheek burning red. 

“You and your whole family-“ Wakatoshi seethed, and slowly Shouyo raised his eyes.

“It was my idea,” he said calmly, as calm as he’d ever been. If he could do nothing else, he would protect his family. “I forced their hand.”

“How?” spit Wakatoshi, eyes on fire.

“I told them we bonded,” Shouyo whispered quietly, the lies coming so easily as he lowered his hood and stared at Wakatoshi’s feet. 

“You-“ seethed the tall man. 

“I wanted to marry you,” interrupted Shouyo, his lips pressing together immediately after in regret, and he sank down to his hands and knees, bowing deeply to his new husband. “Please, whatever you do, do not take your anger out on them.”

The rom was deathly silent for a very long time. Outside, voices spoke quietly as people mingled, waiting for the bride and groom to re-emerge for congratulations. Shouyo felt time pass with the beating of his heart, so calm still even as heat curled in his gut, over his skin and down his spine. Wakatoshi seemed to be barely breathing. 

“I hope you’re happy enough with this, then,” Wakatoshi whispered fiercely, his voice breaking the silence sharply. Hinata’s ears burned as he waited. “Because I will never touch you. I will never sate your heats nor will I give you children. I will never lay with you, and for the rest of your life, you will be unmated, to suffer. For the sake of our families, I will never say a word about what you have done, but you will never, ever be loved.”

Shouyo pressed his forehead to the cool floor, knowing this was perhaps the best outcome he could have hoped for. His tears surprisingly did not come this time. He was eerily calm in his soul. After all, he was beside his Alpha, and even as his Alpha roared with righteous anger, he was not swayed. He loved this man with every fiber of his being.

“Are you going into heat now?” asked Wakatoshi incredulously, staring down at Shouyo with wide eyes. “We’ll have to sneak out the back-“

A knock interrupted him. The doors opened behind Wakatoshi without his permission and shut again behind the person who had entered. Her scent, so familiar, soothed Shouyo. 

“Shouyo, sit up. He is your husband now. You don’t need to bow so formally to him.”

Slowly, Shouyo looked up to find two Alphas in a death stare. Finally, Wakatoshi’s lips tugged into a deep frown. “I see,” he murmured. “You’re the one who concocted this. Your whole family lied from the very beginning.”

Panic rose in Shouyo’s blood, and he yelped, “No! I told you it was my-“

“Silence, Omega!” boomed his Alpha, and Shouyo had no choice but to obey. Still, when Wakatoshi’s hand raised high to his sister, he moved like he never had before, his blood pumping with pure adrenaline. The crack against his cheek was nothing like the first; Wakatoshi in his infinite kindness had held back when striking an Omega. He had not held back for a fellow Alpha, Shouyo thought proudly as he sank to his knees before his groom, vision going white from the force of the slap. 

“Shouyo!” his sister screamed as she fell beside him. 

“I thought I told you-“ bellowed Wakatoshi, but brown, fierce eyes flashing up silenced him.

“You told him to be quiet, not to stay still,” she said with a proud smirk on her face. “Don’t ever strike my brother again. He is your Omega now, and you have to treat him as such, or I will reveal what happened here today.”

Wakatoshi went deathly quiet. Even in the face of a female Alpha, he could say nothing. He would have never been able to control Natsu as his wife. Olive eyes bleeding to black flashed down to Shouyo and slowly he pulled his bride up to his feet. Heat washed over Shouyo in waves at the contact of their skin. 

“Really?” huffed Wakatoshi in annoyance as he slapped his hand and kimono sleeve over his mouth. Behind them, Natsu simply giggled. Annoyed eyes slipped up to her face, but Shouyo was staring up at Wakatoshi with stars in his eyes. 

“I thought you said you would never touch me,” challenged Shouyo with a wide grin. He giggled happily as Wakatoshi’s eyes snapped back to his. The man released him, both hands pressed now to his mouth and nose. 

“Give me a moment with my brother. After all, you have guests to greet together.”

Wakatoshi, his Alpha stubbornness kicking in, didn’t move for a moment, but he couldn’t stay here either as Shouyo’s scent began to fill the small space. 

“Fuck you all,” he growled as he walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him solidly. Shouyo sank to his knees, dead weight. He was scared shitless, if he was honest, and yet, and yet, he couldn’t say he’d made the wrong choice. 

“Thank you, nee-chan,” he murmured as he clung to Natsu’s kimono. She hugged him tightly. 

“I’m sorry, Shouyo. I didn’t think he’d be so angry.”

“It’s okay,” said Shouyo quickly as he looked up at her with pride shining in his eyes. “Even so, he’s mine. He told me he wouldn’t tell, so forever, I will be his...”

Natsu nodded softly and sighed heavily. “Still, if he treats you badly-“

“It’s okay, nee-chan. Now this is my battle to fight,” he whispered in determination. “That Alpha is all mine to win over.”

“Shouyo, what if he just finds a mistress?” Natsu was fretting wildly. He clutched at her hands. 

“He won’t,” he whispered, knowing. Nothing could change his mind; Wakatoshi would never. Not because of loyalty to Shouyo or anything as romantic as that, but simply because it would bring disgrace to his family if it was discovered. And despite everything, Wakatoshi was still a good, good man. “He absolutely won’t.”

Natsu sighed wearily and sank against her brother’s shoulder. “Please be happy, Sho.”

“I will be,” he whispered with determination. She smoothed her hand over his hair and fixed his hood again, helping him stand. 

“You look beautiful, nii-chan. You can always... come home, whenever you need to.”

Shouyo took his sister’s hands and smiled at her. “My home is with him now.”

“I know,” she whispered in a broken tone, a sob shattering through her words. 

“I promise you I will be happy, Natsu, even if he never looks at me again. Because I know he’s my soulmate, whether or not I am his. I love him, and I always, always will. So please be happy for me, because I’m so, so happy.”

She nodded silently, and quietly he slipped past her, his heat calmed enough to stand by his husband’s side, proudly. Wakatoshi didn’t say a word as Shouyo slipped his hand into the crook of his elbow, didn’t look down at the other as he walked them back into the reception hall. Shouyo smiled under the safety of his hood, tears falling now where no one could see. 

Yes, he loved Wakatoshi, but this was painful, painful. Shouyo was torn apart.

x

Shouyo stirred silently at the pot on the stove, mindlessly rubbing over the band-aid on his left hand. He was far away, lost in his thoughts. It had been a week since the wedding, but Shouyo felt like he lived alone. Wakatoshi had started his job at his father’s company the day after their marriage, and he was rarely home. Shouyo had been thrust into his homemaker role; he hadn’t shown Wakatoshi his ruined pots or trash bags of burnt food, but he was trying hard to learn how to make edible food. He packed Wakatoshi a lunch everyday that the man never ate, and every night he made him dinner that was eaten without comment. Shouyo fiddled a little more restlessly with his band-aids, his lips pressed into a deep frown. 

Wakatoshi had stayed true to his words. He hadn’t touched Shouyo, had barely spoken to him, and certainly didn’t sleep with him. Shouyo made his bed every morning and warmed his bath, but that was as close as he got to the other, and he would be lying if he said it wasn’t... lonely. 

The front door unlocked and Shouyo was startled out of his thoughts. He looked down and realized he’d stopped stirring, his sauce beginning to burn, so he yanked it off the hot plate, burning his hand on the hot handle. He hissed and whirled just as Wakatoshi’s entered their apartment, his hands hidden behind his back as he greeted his husband with wide eyes. 

“Ushijima, you’re home early tonight! Welcome home.” He rushed forward to help the man with his coat and bag but he was shooed off. “How was work?” he asked cautiously like he did every night, and just like always, he received a bland, “Fine.”

“I made pasta for dinner,” he tried for a smile, peering up at Wakatoshi, who glanced his way as he pulled off his shoes. He shuffled into his slippers and into their small dining room. Without a word, he sat down in his usual spot, and this more than anything, made Shouyo smile, warmth bubbling up in his heart. He rushed to the kitchen, forgetting about his burnt hand until he went to grab plates, but he bit back a yelp to not worry Wakatoshi. With a big smile, he served dinner, two full plates on either end of the table; he paused for a moment with his spatula in hand, standing quietly. He watched Wakatoshi silently begin to eat, no expression on his face, but Shouyo was just happy to see the other eating his food. He rushed down over the table and kissed Wakatoshi’s cheek, pulling back with a big smile as wide olive eyes flew to his face and Wakatoshi covered his cheek with a frown. 

“I’m so glad you were able to come home early tonight,” Shouyo murmured happily with a giant smile. He quietly sat himself down across from Wakatoshi and began to eat his own food. With wide eyes, he looked up, and he giggled when he found Wakatoshi still watching him. 

“It’s actually not bad, is it?” he hummed as he took another bite off his plate. He grinned wide as slowly, Wakatoshi began eating again. 

“It’s not bad,” Wakatoshi finally agreed quietly, and Shouyo colored with happiness.

“Thank you!” he whispered fiercely, smiling wide. “I’ll pack you some for lunch tomorrow!”

“You don’t have to do that,” Wakatoshi said stiffly, and Shouyo’s smile fell a little. He bit his cheek. 

“Eating out all the time is not good for your health, and I just want to-“ Shouyo pressed his lips together and went quiet. Times like these were when Shouyo recognized that this was hard on him. In his dreams, Wakatoshi had smiled wide, complimented his food and thanked him for every lunch. But reality was not so sweet, and Shouyo tried to readjust his wishes. “Okay,” he whispered quietly, knowing full well he would still pack that lunch and sneak it into Wakatoshi’s bag in the morning. Tomorrow, he would eat for his own lunch the lunch the man had brought home from today, and so it went every day. 

“Would you like a bath tonight?” Shouyo asked as they finished their dinner, and Wakatoshi gave a silent nod. Without a word, the redhead rose to go heat up the water, coming back with a smile when it was done. “Can I get in with you tonight?” he asked hopefully, like he did every night. Wakatoshi stood and passed him by. 

“No,” he said as he closed the bathroom door, Shouyo left smiling dumbly at it. 

“Okay,” he murmured quietly as he turned to clean up the dinning room and kitchen, to pack Wakatoshi’s lunch for tomorrow. 

x

Sunday found Wakatoshi home from work, but shut up in his room where his home office was, with his laptop and too many papers. Shouyo had paced in their living room all morning, until he’d set to work on lunch, maybe being too over-confident in the recipe he’d picked out. His chicken was dry and his rice burnt at the bottom, so in the end he just scrapped out what he could use and made omurice. With the ketchup, he wrote a little note for Wakatoshi: “Don’t work too hard” with a little heart. On a tray, he put a plate and a cup of tea down, and quietly he carried it to Wakatoshi’s office door.

“Ushijima?” he called in a squeaky voice, eyes trained on the door knob. When there was no response, Shouyo balanced the tray on his hip and knocked. “Ushijima!” A little louder this time. “I brought you lunch!”

There was shuffling inside the office, snaps closing and footsteps sounding. The door opened and olive eyes stared first at Shouyo and then at the plate of food, the message on the omurice. 

“I have a meeting with a client. I didn’t need you to make me lunch.”

“I didn’t know...” whispered Shouyo as sadness washed over him, embarrassed. He hid his newly bandaged hands under the tray as he bit at his lip, tears burning. “I thought you’d be home today,” he whispered to the floor, his heart breaking. 

Wakatoshi moved past him, shutting his office door and making his way to the front door with his briefcase in hand. Shouyo shuffled to the dinning room table to set his tray down, hands behind his back as he ran to follow his husband to the door. As Wakatoshi sat and pulled on his shoes, Shouyo shifted from one foot to another, wondering if he could just ask the man to stay home with him instead. It was Sunday, for Heaven’s sake. 

“I won’t be back until late. Just go to bed.”

Shouyo’s feet stopped then, something curling tightly in his gut. He knew this feeling all too well, and Wakatoshi froze for a moment, looking slowly over his shoulder at Shouyo. Heat rushed through the redhead, and he smiled at his husband, hopeful even though he shouldn’t be. 

“My heat starts tomorrow,” he whispered with big, bright eyes, moving closer to Wakatoshi, but the man was on his feet, taking a step back. The look in his eyes stopped Shouyo’s advance, a mix of wariness and annoyance. “Will you stay home with me?” Shouyo choked out pitifully, tears coming suddenly, brimming in his eyes. Most Alpha mates would take off work during their partner’s heat if they were married. Wakatoshi’s face answered Shouyo’s question before his words did. 

In a stiff voice, Wakatoshi said, “I’ll be back tonight to pack my bag for the week. Make sure you have enough food for yourself. I won’t be home again until the end of the week.”

His coat flapped as he turned, but Shouyo stood frozen by what he’d just heard. It seemed Wakatoshi had truly meant it; he wanted nothing to do with his Omega husband. Shouyo let out a choked cry as the door shut harshly on Wakatoshi’s back, as he was cruelly left alone. He sank to the floor and cried himself a small puddle right there on the floor by the entryway. 

x

The apartment was deafeningly silent. For Shouyo, who had never been alone, it was so lonely it ached. Everything ached. Shouyo lay on his bed and _hurt_.

His heat had never been this painful before. There had been lots of elements of frustration and fever, desperation, but nothing like this. This felt like his body was tearing apart, his emotions multiplied to a factor that made Shouyo’s head ache, his heart tying him to his bed for how heavy it was. He hadn’t thought it would be this _hard_.

But Wakatoshi’s scent was everywhere, even in the room Shouyo used that the other’d never stepped foot in. Shouyo was petrified to step outside. Before his heat had gotten so bad he couldn’t even stand, he’d gathered all of his food and snacks and water by his bedside, a feeling creeping up in his mind that it might be a good idea. And god, he was glad he did; he couldn’t move. The thought of stepping out into the rest of the apartment made him nauseous. Shouyo was alone, so terribly alone, the worst fate for an Omega during heat. 

He had a partner, a husband, but that didn’t matter, not in this situation. According to Wakatoshi, he was absolutely, completely alone. His hand clenched around his phone but he didn’t even have the strength to call his sister. His body sweat into the sheets he laid on and he felt like he was melting into his mattress. He could barely make out the ceiling for how blurry his vision had become. His body burned; there was nothing he could do. The ice pack he’d laid against his chest at the start had long since melted, and Shouyo couldn’t... move. 

At night, he dreamed of Wakatoshi, of being held, being loved, being fucked and mated. He had been hard all day, but with his dream came release, though it was not nearly enough. Still, it calmed his head long enough after he awoke with a start for him to pull out his box of toys and lube. It seemed fruitless, but he had to do it. If he could just cum, even if it didn’t feel like _enough_ , he had to do it or this heat would consume him. There were stories like that, of Omegas who had been left and had died, their bodies overheated. Shouyo, with tears in his eyes and pain in his chest, refused to die like this. Not when he could still _try_.

He slicked up his biggest dildo, his entrance so wet by now that he didn’t even really need the lube. He tugged off his pants with great effort and felt between his ass cheeks, a loud, squelching sound filling the small room as his scent grew stronger again. His body shook even though it was only him. He pressed three fingers easily into his ass and then maneuvered the dildo around. With a heavy sigh, it slid inside him, and Shouyo choked out a moment of sharp relief. But as soon as it had come, it was washed away by frustration and raw _need_. Pulling his hips up, face in his pillow, he gripped the end of the dildo and thrust it into himself, over and over, as hard as he could. Frustration built. It was barely enough, just taking the raw edge off everything. He shut his eyes, and even though he knew it would ruin him all the more, he thought of Wakatoshi, of his hands, his rare smile, his voice, his eyes. He imagined Wakatoshi coming home, tearing his clothes off for the smell of his Omega in heat, _claiming Shouyo_ \- the redhead came hard over his sweat-soaked sheets, and there was that moment of relief, but it was soon eaten away, and all day, as long as he could, he stuffed his ass with the dildo, cumming and cumming but it was never, ever enough. 

The third day found him waking from another dream, more vivid than the last, and he was able to pull himself out of bed, to the shower. He smacked a suction cupped dildo to the wall and turned the water on cold. Like that, he spent an hour in the shower, and that gave his head an hour of shocking clarity. He moved mindlessly through the apartment, trying not to breathe too deeply, making himself some food and drinking a whole gallon of water. 

The pangs came again all too soon, and Shouyo walked silently back to his room, hand sliding over his door jamb, the separation between him and what he wanted the most. His feet stopped, and he took a long, deep inhale. Wakatoshi’s scent was tangy, like spiced chai, warm and soothing. It made Shouyo’s gut curl up, made his hair stand on end. He froze, hand pressed to his door handle. He could close this door behind him... He should, actually. His hand slipped away from the door knob and he silently shuffled to his bed. He would regret this; he absolutely knew it. But Omegas in heat were not rational, or smart. They were raw beings of desire, of need, and Shouyo needed Wakatoshi, even if it was only his smell. He tugged out his box again, this time opting for his vibrator eggs, stuffing three up together, and then he curled up on his mattress and sobbed into the pillow smooshed to his chest. 

He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t do this every month. He wanted Wakatoshi, needed the man. Even if the brunet never bit him, never mated him, even if he could just have Wakatoshi to satisfy his heat, that, surely, would be enough. 

But Omegas were fickle, needy beings. Nothing but the real thing would satisfy completely. These toys Shouyo had used for years had barely cut it even back then, and now Shouyo had someone, someone his body needed, and it was impossible. With every orgasm, the relief that came after became less and less, and by day six, Shouyo was bone-tired. As his heat faded, he was able to pull himself up and drink water, but the sadness that sat deep in his soul was overwhelming. With a heavy heart, Shouyo cleaned the whole house, airing out his scent, washing everything he’d touched, until no trace of his heat remained. He sat quietly by the door on the seventh day and waited. 

“I’m home,” Wakatoshi said as he entered, eyes slipping to Shouyo as he cautiously breathed in the air inside. His eyes shifted around the apartment like he was suddenly unsure if anything had even occurred while he was gone, but the bags under Shouyo’s eyes and the way he was so quiet was enough proof. 

“Welcome home, Ushijima,” Shouyo whispered meekly. He stood and watched Wakatoshi remove his shoes and jacket, his bag dropped by Shouyo’s feet. He picked it up and followed his Alpha inside. “I made you dinner, unless you’d like a bath first.”

“I’ll eat,” said Wakatoshi, and Shouyo wondered where he’d been all week. Where had he slept, what had he eaten? He watched Wakatoshi sit down at the table, his plate there, food still warm. Shouyo glanced at his own plate of food, but he left it there. Silently, he made his way to the small laundry room off the hallway. He sorted clothes and started his first load in the stillness; there was no love in this home, but Wakatoshi’s presence was still peaceful. Shouyo ran his hand over a pair of boxer briefs that lay on his second pile of clothes to be washed. He fingered at the seams, his mind warring. A glance backwards told him Wakatoshi couldn’t see him, and quick as a bunny, he swiped the underwear away, running to his room to hide the piece of clothing in his box of toys. Guilt ate him alive, and he knew, god, he knew he would suffer all the more for this, but... Shouyo bit at his bottom lip and spread his hands over his bed sheets. What was he meant to do?

Numbly, he stood back up as Wakatoshi called his name. A glance into the dining room told him the man had finished his dinner. 

“A bath?” he called in a hollow voice, and Wakatoshi’s silence was enough for Shouyo. He moved to the bathroom to heat the water for his husband. “It’s ready,” he called as he stood by the door, just outside the bathroom. Wakatoshi walked past him, and Shouyo shut his eyes as tears came. He was silent, so Wakatoshi wouldn’t know he was crying. The bathroom door was shut behind him and Shouyo sank to his knees. He crawled back to the pile of laundry and stuffed his face into the dirty clothes. Wakatoshi’s scent, strong and so spicy, overwhelmed him, but he was tired, so, so tired. He sobbed into the clothes, until he found the strength to pull himself up and move to the kitchen to clean up from their dinner. His food sat untouched. When he was done with the dishes and his second load of laundry was in the washer, he finally sat down to eat. He wasn’t hungry, but he ate what he could before he felt sick. He stared longingly at the chair across the table from him, listened to Wakatoshi in the bathroom. The door opened and the lights clicked off, and without a word, Wakatoshi went into his bedroom and shut the door. Shouyo watched as fat tears fell on his food. How was he meant to do this? 

The dryer beeped at him and he was startled out of his thoughtless, dead stare, realizing he’d sat at the table for nearly an hour now. He cleaned up after himself, the rest of his food tossed as he made Wakatoshi’s lunch, and then he padded to Wakatoshi’s bedroom door.

It was quiet. Wakatoshi was either asleep, or, more likely, working. Shouyo tapped on the door. 

“Good night, Wakatoshi. I hope you sleep well. I’ll see you in the morning.”

No response came. Shouyo was used to it. He nodded and moved to switch the last load of clothes to the dryer. He’d fold them all tomorrow and put them away. Tonight, at least, he slept a little more peacefully just knowing that Wakatoshi was near again.


	5. Separation Anxiety

“Good morning, Ushijima!” Shouyo greeted with a bright smile. Olive eyes shifted up to him and Wakatoshi mumbled his greeting. Shouyo had slept well, the bags under his eyes fading. It was amazing what having his husband in their home could do for him. He plated Wakatoshi’s food and brought it to the table, where Wakatoshi sat in his suit and tie, reading emails on his phone. He glanced up for a moment when Shouyo set his food down, looking back again to his phone as he picked up his fork and began to eat blindly. Shouyo watched with a proud smile, standing just by the corner of the table. 

Olive eyes glanced up at him again, and he frowned. “Don’t just stand there. Sit down and eat.

“Yes, darling,” called Shouyo with a giggle, Wakatoshi’s words translating to the man’s unique brand of kindness. Wakatoshi’s eyes jerked up in confusion and he was momentarily frozen. Shouyo had never called him anything but his name. Shouyo waited; would he tell the Omega to behave? But Wakatoshi just returned silently to his food, and Shouyo sank down in his chair with a happy sigh. As the two ate, Shouyo watched Wakatoshi, the mornings always his best time for uninterrupted views of the man. 

“Is the food good?” Shouyo asked with a smile, happy enough with the grunted reply. He beamed as he ate another bite of egg. He hadn’t burned any food this time. Maybe he’d make something daring for dinner tonight. “Don’t forget your lunch today,” he told Wakatoshi, no response this time. Shouyo smiled again. 

“You know, if you tell me your favorites, I could try making them.”

Olive eyes slipped up for a moment, watching Shouyo. “Anything is fine,” he finally said as he looked back down at his phone. “I have to go,” he murmured as he looked at the time.

“Oh, okay!” Shouyo’s chair scraped as he stood too fast, rushing to grab the man’s lunch and a thermos of coffee. Wakatoshi stared at it blearily. “Don’t worry, I added lots of milk and sugar!” Shouyo cheered with a big smile as he pressed the cup to his husband’s hand. Wakatoshi grunted and turned away, but the damage was done. Shouyo had discovered Wakatoshi’s coffee tastes just last week, and it was so endearing, so adorable that it made his heart tremble in his chest. What Wakatoshi found shameful, Shouyo was proud to know. More, more, he thought. He wanted to know so much more, all the things no one else knew. He followed Wakatoshi to the door, watched him tug on his jacket and grab his briefcase.

“You look so handsome, darling!” Shouyo said with a bright smile, startling Wakatoshi again. The redhead used the moment to grab Wakatoshi’s arm and rush up on his toes, kissing the man’s cheek. “Have a great day! Don’t work too hard!

“I’ll miss you!” he called after as Wakatoshi quickly escaped down the hall. Shouyo watched him go with a proud smile. When he was out of sight, he shut the door and sank down to the floor against it. He let out a shaky, broken sob. 

It wasn’t enough. It was never enough. A neglected Omega was the worst fate, and even more so when he was teased so cruelly like this, every day. Wakatoshi, so handsome, so sweet in his own way, was so quiet and stiff. His hands never touched Shouyo’s skin, and Shouyo barely knew the sound of his voice or his smiles anymore. 

Shouyo pulled himself up and walked to the pile of clothes waiting for him in the laundry room. With chores all day, he distracted himself. At night, he cut his fingers and burned himself as he made dinner, but he hid them behind his back, under band aids. He asked Wakatoshi incessantly about his day during dinner with very little response, and then he drew the man’s bath. 

Before he went to bed himself, he stopped by Wakatoshi’s door. He tapped on it, calling out, “Good night, Wakatoshi, I hope you sleep well. I’ll see you in the morning.” To the silence that followed, he walked to his room and shut the door. 

x

Slowly, Shouyo learned things about Wakatoshi. He learned that the man had a sweet tooth, and that he’d never had natto. He preferred English-style breakfasts over Japanese, but liked Japanese food better as a whole. 

Sometimes during breakfast he would set his phone down and silently eat with Shouyo. There were the days he would actually answer Shouyo’s barrage of questions. Other days he was stubbornly silent. He’d grown used to Shouyo calling him darling, to Shouyo’s parting cheek kisses and his embarrassing compliments. He got used to coming home to dinner and a clean house, to clean clothes in his closet and a warm bath. These little things were what thrilled Shouyo and stroked his pride as an Omega. To care for his Alpha, surely this was enough. The weeks between his heats, Shouyo was able to convince himself of these things, and as his heat drew closer every time, he always hoped that Wakatoshi would stay. Now, with hope in his eyes, he told the man over dinner, “I’m starting my heat tomorrow. Will you stay with me this time?”

Wakatoshi was silent for a long time, not meeting Shouyo’s earnest, begging eyes. Finally, he released a sigh, and Shouyo stood up from his chair.

“I’m not asking for anything more than that! You don’t even have to see me, but just... if you’re here-“ If Wakatoshi was just here, Shouyo knew he could feel more at ease. He was dreading his heat, the loneliness. It petrified him. “Please, Wakatoshi,” he begged as he clutched at the edge of the table. 

Olive eyes snapped up to him, Wakatoshi’s expression so cold that it silenced Shouyo completely. They stared at each other for a long time. 

“I’ll pack my bag tonight,” Wakatoshi said as he turned back to his laptop. Shouyo had made small deserts and he’d hoped since Wakatoshi had sat with him and ate that- Everything crashed around him. 

“Please, darling,” he begged in a broken, trembling voice, but Wakatoshi didn’t look at him again. 

“Could you draw my bath?” he asked finally, subject completely ignored. He didn’t look at Shouyo even once. 

The redhead had to swallow past the lump in his throat. “Yes,” he whispered, empty. He silently moved to the bathroom, trying his best to not disturb even the dust. 

That night, as always, he tapped on Wakatoshi’s door and called, “Good night, Wakatoshi, sleep well. I’ll see you in the morn-“

“Go to bed, Hinata,” Wakatoshi bellowed through the door, ice washing over Shouyo. His fingers slowly slid down the door. 

“Don’t forget to eat,” Shouyo whispered to the silence, as fear and dread swallowed him whole. Tomorrow he would wake up to an empty apartment. Tomorrow his heat would start again.

Tomorrow he would be alone, once more.

x

“I can’t do this,” Shouyo hushed into the speaker of his phone, his heart hammering in his chest. Wakatoshi was at work, but Shouyo was beginning to get paranoid, like the walls had ears that could hear his anxieties. 

“Just come home next time,” Natsu growled angrily, not at Shouyo, but at what she had just discovered. “No, actually, I will come the day before your next heat and come pick you up. If that man won’t acknowledge your pain, I will show him what he’s missing.”

“Natsu-“ breathed Shouyo, but he shook his head, clutching his phone tighter. “He is my husband, and so I have to be good.”

“He’s a jack ass-!” Natsu bellowed, but Shouyo’s pride in his Alpha rose, and he bit back at his sister.

“He is good to me! Whatever you think, he’s still my Alpha now, Natsu!”

The other redhead fell silent on the other end of the line. Shouyo rarely raised his voice, and he barely every called Natsu by her name. She didn’t say anything.

“I swear he’s sweet most days,” Shouyo whispered with a small smile, begging Natsu to see that this wasn’t something she could fix with her barreling in and ruining what they had. No, this was Shouyo’s fight, and he was determined to fight it, but during his heat, he was miserable, so miserable. 

“Can you just come for a little bit each day? I just get so lonely and I think if you’re there, it might be bearable...”

“Shouyo!” cried Natsu, at the end of her rope and brimming with frustration. “He’s not being good to you if he leaves you every month! God knows what he’s doing! What about his own rut?!”

Shouyo clenched his eyes. He couldn’t think of that. He’d refused to do so for the past two months. If he thought too hard about what Wakatoshi was doing, he would break down from the runaway worst-case scenarios. 

“Natsu, please-“

“All right, I get it!” she roared. “If he won’t be there for you, the least I can do is be there instead,” she mumbled, and he felt so thankful to his sister. 

“When’s your next heat?“ she asked. 

“Two weeks.”

“I’ll come that Monday. Can I bring you anything?”

Shouyo bit his lip. “Mom’s homemade pudding. Please.”

Natsu was quiet. 

“Don’t tell her, nee-chan,” he begged meekly, and she sighed.

“Of course I won’t. She’d worry herself sick over you. Why don’t you call her once in a while. Or come see us. Bring that Alpha of yours too,” she spat. “I know it would ease their worries, Shouyo...” she murmured, and Shouyo felt tears sting his eyes.

“Okay,” he hushed. “Tell them I love them. I’ll bring him around soon.”

“Sure,” Natsu murmured with quiet disbelief. “I miss you. Take care of yourself, too, Shouyo.”

He hummed and hung up, staring at the empty apartment, at the food laid out on the counter for dinner tonight. Every day was the same, but he wasn’t lying to himself when he said he was happy, right?

He barely knew anymore.

x

Wakatoshi was extra quiet that night, and it did not escape Shouyo’s notice. He asked his usual questions, but slowly his voice tapered off as Wakatoshi stared at Shouyo’s plate of food like it might come to life. 

“Are you tired?” Shouyo asked when the staring became unnerving. Under the table, he fiddled with the bandaids on his fingers. He nearly had one on each finger today, and when Wakatoshi had come home, Shouyo had been in the middle of crying over his burnt soup. Still, he’d wiped his face and greeted Wakatoshi with a smile, but the man had been strangely quiet since then. 

“I’m going to the store tomorrow. Is there anything you’d like me to get?”

Olive eyes slowly shifted up to brown, and Shouyo shivered. The staring continued, but he didn’t dare look away from Wakatoshi. It was so rare that he actually looked at Shouyo. 

“We don’t have any band-aids,” Wakatoshi said tonelessly, and Shouyo’s spine went stiff and straight. He stared with wide eyes as Wakatoshi raised his hand. “I was looking for one last night because I’d cut myself shaving, but the box was empty.”

He stared at Shouyo, his face impossible to read, eyes locked on Shouyo’s wide ones. He couldn’t open his mouth lest the truth spill out. He clenched his hands tight under the table.

“Could you get some?” Wakatoshi finally said as he looked down again to his food, finishing his plate in silence. The mood shifted, but Shouyo couldn’t move or speak. 

He ran Wakatoshi’s bath like usual, and when the man emerged, Shouyo followed him to his bedroom door. 

“Good night, Wakatoshi, I hope you sleep well. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he whispered, hand reaching out for the man as he slipped into his room. The door shut behind him and Shouyo listened to him move to his bed. Silently, he turned towards his own room. 

“Good night.”

The redhead froze, wondering if he was starting to hear things now. He stared into the emptiness of his room across the hall. His ears rang, but he could have sworn he’d heard Wakatoshi’s voice. He clung to his bandaged fingers, a smile threatening to break his stiff cheeks. 

x

Shouyo stared down at the empty lunch box sitting before him. Wakatoshi was eating silently at the table, but Shouyo had been stuck here for nearly fifteen minutes now. 

The first thought he’d had was that Wakatoshi had started throwing away his food. When it happened again the next day, Shouyo felt conflicted. Now, the third day, and Wakatoshi’s lunch box was once again empty, and Shouyo could only hope and pray that Wakatoshi was eating his food. It had taken four months, but Wakatoshi was finally eating his lunches. Shouyo turned to look at his husband. But why?

Quietly, Shouyo washed to container and refilled it. He set it in the fridge and then moved to sit at the dining room table to eat his own food. 

“Your lunch is in the fridge. Don’t forget it tomorrow,” he whispered quietly, staring down at his plate.

“Okay.”

His eyes snapped wide at the easy response, head jerking up, but Wakatoshi was just quietly eating his food, staring at his laptop. 

Slowly, he worked his mouth around words. “If there’s anything you’d like me to put in your lunches, please tell me. Okay?”

“Everything you make is good,” Wakatoshi said to his computer screen, and Shouyo could barely believe it. What was happening? He almost wanted to laugh and ask what this man had done with his husband. 

“Wakatoshi,” Shouyo choked. “What do you want for dinner tomorrow?” His ears were ringing and he couldn’t stop staring at his Alpha’s side profile. 

“Make whatever you want, Shouyo.”

Shouyo choked on a glob of spit. He couldn’t believe this. It was too good to be true. If he let these things carry him away, he’d loose his grip on reality. He wasn’t sure Wakatoshi had ever spoken his name before, not since they’d married for sure. 

“Wakatoshi, can we watch a movie tonight?” Shouyo stared wide and hopeful at his husband as olive eyes finally raised to meet him. 

He thought surely he was dreaming when the man replied casually, “Sure.”

Shouyo rushed away from the table and cleared their plates, running to the living room, collecting blankets and sweaters along the way. What movie should they watch? A romantic comedy, a family show? Maybe a thriller or horror film so Shouyo would have an excuse to snuggle up to-

Wakatoshi towered over him and pointed out one, an action film. With Shouyo’s heart pounding, he pulled it out. He couldn’t even be upset. He set up the movie and then shuffled to the couch where Wakatoshi sat with his computer. He sat down beside Wakatoshi, legs pulled up and curled under a blanket. He watched Wakatoshi set his laptop away, wondered how close he could get. The movie started and Shouyo’s eyes yanked to the screen. He hadn’t seen this one before. Wakatoshi was so silent Shouyo actually forgot he was there. The story pulled him in, and just like that time flew by; the movie rolled credits and Shouyo still sat exactly where he’d started, no closer to his husband for all of his plans. The man stood and collected his laptop and phone. 

“I’m going to go get some more work done. Can you draw my bath?”

“Yes!” squeaked Shouyo, his heart racing as he watched Wakatoshi walk to his bedroom. “Would you like some dessert?!” he yelled to that big, broad back. 

“Okay,” Wakatoshi said and Shouyo’s heart flew out of his chest and to the roof. He covered his mouth as he squeaked in happiness. 

That night, after Wakatoshi had again wished him a good night and Shouyo had curled up in bed, he realized with a start that he had forgotten to mention to Wakatoshi that his heat was starting tomorrow.

No, more accurately, his heat was starting tonight. His heart pounded and this felt so nostalgic, Wakatoshi able to stir him up just like that. His heart was soaring high and he was feeling so hopeful, but as he lay in bed and his heat began to crawl up his spine, he heard movement from the other room. Something like Wakatoshi tripping or falling out bed, and then frantic banging of closet doors and dresser drawers and Shouyo’s heart began to sink to the bottom floor. Pounding footsteps resounded through the apartment and Shouyo listened as the front door opened and slammed shut. Silence fell, heavy and bleak. 

Shouyo was alone once again. Any hopes he’d had faded like they’d never even been there to start. Whatever he’d hoped would happen, whatever progress he thought they’d made this past month, it was all for nothing. With shaking hands, Shouyo texted his sister. 

_I’m coming over tonight. Leave the door unlocked for me, Shouyo._

Twenty minutes later, a warm body slid into Shouyo’s bed next to him, a body too small and familiar to be who he wanted it to be, and Natsu held him as he sobbed. 

Whatever he’d hoped would happen this time, everything was absolutely the same. 

x

Wakatoshi cautiously opened the front door on Sunday evening, and Shouyo looked up silently from his place on the couch, where he’d been reading a book, quiet as a mouse. 

“Welcome home,” he murmured to his husband, and Wakatoshi froze in the entry way. 

“I didn’t see you there...” he called, and he actually sounded a little shaky for the first time. Shouyo glanced up over the edge of the sofa, watching as the man stiffly put down his bags and took off his shoes. 

“Did you have a good week?” Shouyo asked calmly as he turned back to his book, his emotions wreaking havoc inside his chest, but he couldn’t let it show. 

“Yes...” answered the other man stiffly. He stepped into their apartment and looked towards the dining room. “Did you?” he asked after a long pause, unsure what to make of this Shouyo. 

“It was fine,” he replied curtly. “My sister came.”

He let the words settle into the air around them, as Wakatoshi went very still. He looked around the apartment like he was trying to find the evidence of Shouyo’s words in the air, but there was not a trace of anything left; not Shouyo’s heat, nor his sister’s Alpha scent. 

“Oh...” murmured Wakatoshi suddenly, like something had finally occurred to him. He took a deep inhale and fell quiet again. He turned to look at the food sitting lonely on the dining room table. “Aren’t you going to eat with me?” He almost sounded... lonely.

“I already ate,” Shouyo called back cooly as he flipped to the next page of his book. It wasn’t even that interesting, but he was... angry. He couldn’t stand the sight of Wakatoshi right now. A lot of things had become very clear to Shouyo this past week. 

He listened to Wakatoshi eat, saw in the reflection on the TV that he sat, despondent almost, staring at Shouyo’s empty chair. Shouyo’s eyes dropped back down to his book, but he couldn’t focus on the words. Despite everything, how was it that the man’s presence was still so soothing, so balming to Shouyo’s parched soul. Despite how Wakatoshi treated him, how come he was still the only man that could settle Shouyo like this with just his quiet breathing. 

Shouyo raised his chin and stared at the black TV screen. His sister’s rants stuck in his mind, and he couldn’t shake his own fatal curiosity. He shouldn’t ask, shouldn’t hurt himself like this, but the thoughts wouldn’t leave him be. He cleared his throat before asking, “Ushijima, where do you go when I’m in my heat?”

Wakatoshi’s head whipped up and he caught sight of Shouyo watching him in the reflection of the television. He slowly lowered the hand that held his chopsticks, eyes shifting back to the plate of food before him, nearly all gone now. 

“A hotel or the office.

“I get a lot of work done,” he tried lightly as he scratched at his hair with an awkward smile. Shouyo didn’t humor his attempt. It was too painful to laugh at a joke about this situation. 

“Oh,” Shouyo answered cooly as he dropped his chin down again. He wondered where he’d found the courage to be so sassy to his Alpha. But he wasn’t claimed, unmarked, so Wakatoshi had no real hold over him aside from what Shouyo allowed. “I’m glad to hear that.” 

“Sorry,” snapped Wakatoshi in dismay, head darting up again, but Shouyo wasn’t looking anymore. “That was...”

Shouyo rose. “No, I’m very glad,” he said stiffly. He turned to Wakatoshi, eyes finally meeting as he watched the Alpha, now meek and quiet. “Tell me, Wakatoshi, what do you do about your ruts? Are you really just... alone? Working?”

Wakatoshi’s eyes went wide as he stared at Shouyo like something else had just dawned on him. “Rut...?” he asked like he didn’t know what that was at all. Shouyo felt anger rise in him, but just as quickly it dispelled ad Wakatoshi turned back to his empty plate and murmured, “I haven’t had one...”

Slowly, olive eyes raised. The man blinked at Shouyo, confused. In a barely audible voice, murmuring mostly to himself, Wakatoshi whispered, “No, I’ve never had a rut...”

Shouyo let those words settle heavy on his shoulders. His breathing came quick and shallow. It wasn’t what he’d imagined at all, but was Wakatoshi just playing with him again? 

“Are you really just... working?” he laughed incredulously, voice on the edge of breaking as tears burned behind his eyes. 

“Yeah,” said Wakatoshi, so earnest, so honest, so innocent. He looked at Shouyo with an open expression. Shouyo let a shaky laugh bubble up, disbelief crawling up his spine. 

“I’m going to bed,” he barked as he turned to the hall, book in hand, clenched tightly. “Next time, think up a better lie, Ushijima.”

A chair clattered behind Shouyo as the other man rose, but he didn’t look back. 

“Wait-!” But Shouyo didn’t. “Shouyo!” bellowed Wakatoshi, his Alpha senses suddenly restored. Shouyo’s door clicked shut and he sank weak against the floor. Even after all of this time, Wakatoshi could make him so weak. So why couldn’t he see how absolutely cruel he was being? Why couldn’t he just-

Shouyo believed him though, the stupid fool. He _would_ spend a whole week holed up, working from sun up to sun down. God, the stupid fool would. Shouyo felt tears slide hot to his temple, sinking into his hair as he laid down on the floor by his door. He listened to Wakatoshi clean off his plate uncertainly and draw his own bath. Everything took twice as long, but Shouyo didn’t move. The house settled into silence when Wakatoshi finally shut his bedroom door. Shouyo pulled himself to bed.

In the morning, he had to be better. Despite being unmarked, Wakatoshi was still his Alpha, and it was hard on Shouyo to be so assertive, whether it was desperately needed or not. 

x

“Good morning,” Shouyo said as Wakatoshi walked in silently. He was already dressed, and he sat quietly at the table as Shouyo served him his breakfast. “How did you sleep?” he asked as he lingered for a moment. Wakatoshi didn’t respond; he picked up his phone and began typing as he ate. 

“I made your lunch. I put it in your bag,” Shouyo told him as he cleaned the kitchen after himself, his own food waiting to be eaten when Wakatoshi was gone. He couldn’t sit still and eat so calmly, not when his Omega senses were screaming, _Apologize to your Alpha! You’ve made him mad!_

As Wakatoshi finished his food and Shouyo ran out of things to clean, he held his hands behind his back and walked quietly to the table. “Wakatoshi,” he called softly, scared. What had he done? Wakatoshi’s silence was worse than his anger would have been. 

“Are you mad?”

“Why would I be?” Wakatoshi asked, normal, monotone voice. He looked up at Shouyo without lifting his head. “Should I be?” 

Shouyo pressed his lips together, torn between a yes and a no. Wakatoshi set his fork down and he sat up straighter, looking at his Omega. 

“Let me see your hands.”

Shouyo startled, confused. He fiddled with his fingers behind his back. For once, there were no band-aids on his fingers, since he hadn’t cooked for a week during his heat. Slowly, he brought them forward and showed them to Wakatoshi, who stared down at them, inspecting silently. 

“Hmm,” was all he said in the end. “Thank you for lunch,” he murmured as he stood, grabbing his phone. Shouyo followed him to the entry way. He watched Wakatoshi pull on his shoes, his jacket, and grab his bag. He watched Wakatoshi wait silently. 

“You look very nice,” whispered Shouyo in something akin to fear, like he was saying the wrong thing. Wakatoshi waited still, until Shouyo reached up on tippy toes and kissed his cheek. He grunted as he turned away, and though the moment had been short, Shouyo wondered... He watched Wakatoshi walk out the door, something wild gripping him. He scrambled to the front door himself and pulled it open, heart pounding in his chest like Wakatoshi might be gone if he looked. No, he was there, but he felt far away, slipping away. 

“I’ll see you tonight, darling!” Shouyo yelled desperately into the hallway. Wakatoshi’s head raised and he turned to look over his shoulder as he walked away still. “I’ll make your favorite, whatever it is! Have a... good day!” Shouyo felt tears streaming hot down his cheek as his voice choked up, as he watched Wakatoshi walk away. Oh, he was alone again. The weight of it crushed him like it never had before. He scrambled for his phone, ready to text Wakatoshi, to beg him to come back home tonight, because it felt like he might never see the man again. What had he done? Instead, he typed out a rambling apology to the man. 

All day he spent in a state of constant hyperventilation. Even his sister could not soothe him when she came over. She made dinner that night, leaving just before Wakatoshi would return, but Shouyo was inconsolable until he heard the front door unlock. He skittered to the entryway like a dog, waiting with wide eyes. 

The moment he saw Wakatoshi, everything melted away. “You came back,” he hushed in disbelief. He stared at his Alpha as he filled the entry way.

“I’m home,” Wakatoshi greeted quietly, watching Shouyo. The redhead yelped, something wild and untamable choking him. He rushed forward with a cry of apology as he sank against Ushijima, arms around his waist. 

“I missed you, darling,” Shouyo sobbed. “Welcome home!”

Wakatoshi was stiff against him, a hand reaching out slowly to pat Shouyo’s head once, only once. Shouyo pulled back, big smile on his face, but Wakatoshi was staring into the apartment, teeth glinting dangerously in the low light. 

“What’s that smell?” he roared quietly, and Shouyo pulled back in fear and froze. 

“My sister made dinner-“

Olive eyes flashed to Shouyo and he went silent. His mind raced, trying to figure out-

“I’m not hungry,” Wakatoshi barked as he pushed his lunch box into Shouyo’s hands, pushed past him to his room. “I’ll be working. Don’t disturb me.”

“Your bath-!” yelped Shouyo, but Wakatoshi was stalking to his room, and Shouyo listened as the door slammed hard. One sniff of the air told him what was absolutely wrong with this picture. The lunch box felt light in his hands and Natsu’s scent lingered heavy in the air. She had scented this place heavily, and Shouyo hadn’t aired it out, not knowing she’d done so at all. 

His hands trembled around the empty lunch box as something warm choked him up. He ran to the kitchen, shoveling out his sister’s food, cleaning out her scent with incense as he hurriedly prepared another dinner for his husband. He didn’t utter a word as he burned his fingers, cut them. He powered through, shaking the whole time. Finally he had something fit to present, and he set it all on a tray to bring to Wakatoshi. He sank down to his knees in front of his husband’s door in seiza, head bowed low. 

“Darling,” he called in a trembling voice, hands shaking. “Ushijima... -san?”

“The door is open,” interrupted Wakatoshi, his voice too muffled by the door to sense his tone. Was he angry? Shouyo carefully raised his hands from where he sat on the floor to open the bedroom door, letting it slowly glide open. Wakatoshi sat at his desk, hunched over his laptop as he angrily shuffled through papers. He stilled as the door tapped against the wall behind it, turning. His face was not unkind, but Shouyo couldn’t read it. Olive eyes regarded him as the man took a deep inhale of the air behind Shouyo. Quietly, he turned back to his desk, tapping twice at an empty space near a stack of papers. He began typing again on his laptop, but Shouyo rose in a rush and lifted the tray, dishes clattering as he practically ran inside. Wakatoshi’s scent was the strongest here. He set the tray down loudly on the edge of the desk before his sweaty hands could drop it, and he jerked back stiffly. Should he get down in seiza again and beg for forgiveness? Should he just leave? He stood there breathless as he debated. 

“Shut the door,” Wakatoshi told him, and Shouyo’s heart dropped as he realized this was all he was getting tonight. He turned to the door and thought that it had to be enough for him. 

“Where are you going?” barked Wakatoshi as Shouyo began to pull the door shut behind him, and the redhead froze. Wakatoshi’s face pulled into a wild expression of confusion and pain and Shouyo stared at him with wide eyes. In a quieter voice, Wakatoshi said, “I didn’t say you should leave. I just wanted you to shut the door.”

His eyes shifted behind Shouyo, out the door, and his eyebrows knit together, expression darkening. “I can still smell her,” he huffed. 

Shouyo rushed back in with a cry of surprise and shut the door behind him, back and hands to it as he waited, baited breath. 

Wakatoshi sighed and turned back, and Shouyo rushed out, “I’m sorry, I didn’t get to clean after she left and I was so worried all day so she made dinner-“ He froze when Wakatoshi turned again, his eyebrows knit together still, but he looked more frustrated than angry. 

“So you do clean out all the smells while I’m gone, huh.”

It was a statement, a confirming of something Wakatoshi had suspected. Shouyo pressed his lips together, eyes going wide. He’d given something away; was it okay? 

“I knew it would be hard on you... to smell my heat...” he murmured to the floor, eyes wide as he stared at the wood grain on the floor planks, memorizing every knot and whorl. “I mean, not because it would affect you, but because it’s- it’s a bad smell, isn’t it?” His voice broke at his own insecurities, but Wakatoshi calmly called him forward.

“Come here, Shouyo.”

Shouyo ran to the man, heart in his throat, but he couldn’t look at Wakatoshi even as a hand reached behind his hips. Thick fingers closed around his wrist.

“Let me see your hands,” Wakatoshi said. It wasn’t a request, but his voice was kind. Shouyo slowly pulled out his trembling hands from behind his back. He’d sloppily applied some band-aids, but there were uncovered, angry, red marks on his palms from where he’d burned his hand pulling out a hot plate from the oven, cuts that were red but not bleeding that he’d been too anxious to bother with. 

Wakatoshi sat back, fingers still around Shouyo’s slim wrist. His eyes slowly traced all of the bandaids, the cuts, the burns. Shouyo couldn’t move, could barely breathe. The longer the silence stretched, the more he wanted to break it. Finally, he laughed too loud and nervous, waving his hands in Wakatoshi’s grip as he said, “Oh, this? This is nothing. Just me being a clumsy Omega.”

Fiery eyes flicked up to Shouyo’s and he fell deathly silent, skin going pale like he’d overstepped again. 

“I’m so sorry,” he breathed sharply, his breaths coming faster and shorter as he was beginning to hyperventilate. He watched as Wakatoshi slowly traced some of the cuts with his finger. 

“Why do you do it, Shouyo?” Olive eyes raised and Wakatoshi let his hands go, but Shouyo just stood there like a fool, hands up and palms turned upward, fingers curled loosely. Slowly he tightened his grip, but still his hands hung raised just below Wakatoshi’s eye level. “What makes you believe that I’m worth all of this?”

Shouyo’s hands flew to his chest and he inhaled sharply, his nose filling with Wakatoshi’s scent and his head with a million and one reasons why. 

“I love you,” Shouyo choked out, his heart not clouded now. “I know... that you’re meant to be my Alpha. I’ve always known, since the moment we met.”

“And what if I’m not?” Wakatoshi asked cooly, but Shouyo snapped back easily with a loud, “But you are!”

He froze and then quickly shrank away. Wakatoshi’s eyes dropped to the tray of food Shouyo had brought and he thumped his finger against the edge of it, rhythmically, over and over, like a metronome. 

“And what if I’m not?” he asked again, calmly. Shouyo this time took his time to formulate an answer, to think it through. 

“Even if you’re not,” he finally answered, “I would never leave. Because the way you make me feel, like my world is whole when you’re here, like everything is okay as long as you’re happy-“

Wakatoshi’s eyes raised up to Shouyo’s and slowly they went wide as he shook his head. 

“Don’t you believe that I’m meant to be your Omega?” Shouyo begged, on the verge of tears. He clung to his own shirt. 

“You frustrate me like no other,” Wakatoshi said suddenly, staring at Shouyo. “You make me angry and sad, so many emotions I didn’t know I could feel so strongly. You annoy me because you’re so persistent, even if you hurt yourself, even if you suffer. I can’t stand it when, despite it all, you greet me back home with a smile-!” Wakatoshi’s hands fisted against his desk and lap and he slammed it down hard against the hard top of his desk, as his eyes dropped. Shouyo startled where he stood, fear making his heart spike for a moment, the thrill of the moment that he felt not lost to him. 

“This food you slave over for me tastes better than anything else I’ve ever tasted. Everything else tastes bland. No matter how many stars the restaurant has or how I loved their food before, I can’t stomach it now.” A finger tapped again, a little annoyed, against the tray of food, like Wakatoshi was a cat and he was displeased. 

“This home that should just be a house feels warm. The fact that you’re always here makes me want to come home some nights when I could just stay at the office and work, or go out with colleagues. I don’t... understand it, but when you’re upset, it chills me to the bone.”

Wakatoshi covered his mouth then, eyes darting to the wall beside him as they went wide. “And yet,” he said, muffled behind his hand, “when I think of you... like that... I cannot imagine how you could be the one meant to be my Omega.

“I cannot... feel attracted to you like that.”

Shouyo had been shaking, knees knocking, and with those final words, his hands slipping weakly off the edge of the desk, he crumpled to the floor and he sobbed as his heart tore. Was it not enough? Were his own feelings not enough for both of them? He didn’t know what else to say to convince Wakatoshi that they were right for each other. As he sat there and cried, the man awkwardly patted his head, silent. Slowly, Shouyo pulled himself together and back to his feet. 

“That’s okay, Wakatoshi,” he said with a calmness the rest of his soul did not feel. He clenched his hands into his shirt as he repeated, “It’s okay.”

Olive eyes blinked at him, not agreeing, but not knowing how to disagree. 

“It’s okay if we’re just... good friends,” Shouyo whispered even as his heart trembled out of his chest and he could barely inhale enough to not make his voice sound breathless. “If you could just be nice to me,” he whispered as tears came and he rubbed at them angrily, “that would be enough.”

Wakatoshi stared at Shouyo with obvious doubt in his eyes. He began tapping again at the tray of food, eyes moving around the room, looking for the words to say. While he wasn’t looking at the redhead, Shouyo put a hand on Wakatoshi’s shoulder, reflexes he didn’t know he had gripping into the man’s muscles. 

“Just like this,” he hushed out with wide eyes, “it’s okay. Please don’t worry yourself over me.” He smiled past the tears and asked brightly, “Okay, darling?”

Wakatoshi’s face slipped through several different emotions while Shouyo’s eyes were closed. He was confused, angry, frustrated, relieved. He wished he wasn’t so happy with the outcome; the stress from the last few months disappeared and he really looked at Shouyo. He was a good kid, probably very smart and adept at picking up new things. He was petite, so much smaller than Wakatoshi, but he made up for it in personality. He was quirky, and odd at times, but it wasn’t anything that didn’t make the brunet laugh. 

Friends? He could do that. They could just be... roommates. Married roommates, but just... roommates. He quietly thanked Shouyo for the food, the redhead walking out on stiff legs. Shouyo shut the door behind himself and sank to the floor, all of his strength gone. He crawled himself to his room. He shut the door and pulled himself into bed and he slept like the dead until well past 10 the next day. 

x

It was quieter now inside the little apartment. Shouyo didn’t have as much to say anymore, and the two found their comfortable silence. It was okay, Shouyo convinced himself as he did the same things as always. He cleaned the house and did laundry while the man was gone, prepping their dinner and Wakatoshi’s lunch. When the man got home, Shouyo greeted him at the door, and sometimes Wakatoshi would smile awkwardly or ruffle his red hair, but that was the extent of their contact. They’d eat together with little to no conversation, and during the weekends they’d watch a movie or Shouyo would read while Wakatoshi worked. Then he’d prepare the man’s bath and next his lunch and they would bid each other good night, and that was it. That was Shouyo’s whole life. He shouldn’t be so upset, but every day his heat crept closer again and every day he felt anew the loneliness, the desire for Wakatoshi that he had to quench, the things he wanted to ask and discuss but he just kept quiet. 

Still, Wakatoshi spoke to him more now, sometimes unprompted, and always more than one word answers. He laughed sometimes at Shouyo when he didn’t even realize he was being funny, and sometimes he’d stare at the other for long periods of time without a word. The awkwardness on his body slowly faded away and now when he smiled, it felt real. Shouyo was conflicted. He was happy for these new developments with Wakatoshi, but he hated, hated that it meant he couldn’t reach out and touch, couldn’t kiss Wakatoshi’s cheek anymore or call him darling or _think of him_ like that. It was suffocating in the same exact amount as it freed him. Wakatoshi was sweet, as Shouyo had known him to be, under all the brambles of his personality and his silent nature. He was kind to Shouyo in ways the other never expected, like quietly washing dishes beside him or letting Shouyo’s feet rest on his lap when they watched a movie. Yes, Wakatoshi was sweet, and yes, absolutely, Shouyo was falling deeper in love. He ached to enact his feelings but he forced them down again and again, until he felt physically ill. 

“My heat is starting tomorrow.” Shouyo had no hopes anymore that the man might stay, and so he didn’t voice his wishes. He knew Wakatoshi already had a bag packed. He’d figured Shouyo’s schedule out. Still, he smiled a tiny, awkward thing as he looked up at Shouyo; it was like his face wasn’t used to smiling.

“Will you be okay?”

 _No._ “Yes. As always.” Shouyo forced his own lips to smile, but he couldn’t hold it, so he turned his face back down to his curry. 

“I guess you’ll have your sister here.” Did Shouyo imagine the note of anger in the man’s tone? He looked up, but Wakatoshi was fixated on his own food. 

“Yes,” murmured Shouyo again as he stared at the top of the other man’s head. Part of him wanted to ask if Wakatoshi had a problem with it, but he knew he wouldn’t want to hear the answer, not when it involved his heat, which Wakatoshi avoided like the plague. “She’ll be here,” he murmured instead.

“How is she not affected?” Wakatoshi asked suddenly as he looked up, a frown on his lips, one eye twitching slightly. Shouyo blinked at him. 

“She’s my sister. It doesn’t work on family. Otherwise-“ He fell silent, but so did Wakatoshi. He turned away, murmuring into his hand. 

“How annoying.”

Shouyo blinked at his curry. The urge to touch Wakatoshi spiked suddenly and Shouyo knew it was just his heat, but he rose anyways, even if just to torture himself. He laid his hand on Wakatoshi’s shoulder as he asked, “Are you done with your food?” Big, olive eyes blinked up at him, and slowly the man nodded. Squeezing his shoulder as he leaned down, neither said a word of the contact between them, and Shouyo quietly pulled away as he stepped to the kitchen sink. Wakatoshi was quiet too. 

“Don’t worry about my lunch for tomorrow, if it’s too much,” Wakatoshi tried.

“It’s already made,” Shouyo said quickly, eyes drilled to the sudsy water before him. He sank his hands into it to hide their shaking. He couldn’t do this, he couldn’t, not when every cell in his body was screaming for him to run to Wakatoshi and hold on to him. He begged himself to calm down, but he was on the eve of his new heat, and there was no such thing. He pressed his nose to his sleeve in an effort to get a moment of fresh air, not clogged by the Alpha’s scent.

“Maybe you should leave tonight,” Shouyo whispered.

“What?”

Wakatoshi was closer than he’d thought, and he spun around with wet hands, soap flying to the floor. Shouyo’s legs gave out and he caught himself only with his elbows on the counter behind him. Pain shot up his arm and he bit back a yelp.

“You scared me,” he tried to joke, but Wakatoshi was staring down at him. Shouyo couldn’t even cover up what the man saw there. Instead, he slowly straightened and pulled his apron over his erection in his jeans. 

“I said, I think you should leave tonight, Ushijima.”

Olive eyes flashed up to Shouyo, and for a moment, the man didn’t say a thing. But he quietly turned away and gave a toneless, “Okay.” Shouyo watched him walk to his room to gather his bag and then out the door all from where he still stood by the kitchen sink. He pressed the heel of his palm harshly to his cock and hissed down at himself. 

“I can’t do this,” he told the air, tears coming. He barely got the call in to his sister before he sank to floor in a mess of pheromones and desire, a patch of slick already staining his underwear.


	6. Breaking

When he woke up again, it was to a tight grip on his hand and glaring, brown eyes. Natsu sighed wearily as she pressed her forehead to her hand at the sight of fluttering red lashes. 

“Sho, I found you on the kitchen floor. It wasn’t even late Sunday. What’s going on? Your heats are getting worse.”

Shouyo slowly turned over to face his sister, giving her a shaky smile. It wasn’t like he really had to spell it out for her. She knew very well what was wrong. She just wanted to hear a different answer. He decided to give her silence instead, and she shook her head. 

“It’s okay, Natsu, he doesn’t see me that way. I’m the one who tricked him into this marriage-“

“But if you say he’s your soulmate, he has to feel that too!”

“Who knows,” whispered Shouyo with a shaky smile and tears in his eyes. He didn’t know what to think anymore; everything he’d been so certain of half a year ago was fading to unclarity. He really didn’t know anymore, how he felt, or how this second gender thing worked at all. Maybe he was faulty; maybe he was wrong. Maybe he’d done something very terrible. He turned towards the wall and sighed into his pillow, shoulders trembling slightly as he gripped tight at his sister’s hand. “Thank you for being here,” he whispered roughly, and she sighed again. 

“I can’t keep doing this, Sho,” she whispered quietly, and he’d known this was coming. He could smell it on her, like all Omegas could when it came to Alphas in love. Natsu had found someone. 

“I know,” he murmured painfully. “Do I know them?” he asked as a change of subject. 

“No. His family just moved to town. He’s two years younger than me,” she added with a laugh. “He reminds me of you.”

“An Omega?” He asked, hands shaking, fingers going cold and numb. When had he started relying so much on his sister?

“Yes, but mostly because he’s too sweet for his own good and most of the times he’s bouncing off the wall in excitement.”

“I’m glad,” Shouyo whispered genuinely despite his shakiness. He turned back and smiled at his sister. “Have you confessed?”

She turned beet red, and it was such a rare sight that Shouyo’s eyes went wide, and he grinned at her. “I know what you’re thinking!” she yelped. Shouyo giggled, thinking that despite being an Alpha, she was not bold when it came to love. “He’s only 15, Sho, I have to wait!”

“Why? If he’s good like you say, don’t let him get scooped up by someone else!”

Her eyes went wide, like it hadn’t even occurred to her. Ah, that was more like it. He laughed. 

“Ask him out,” he whispered with a big smile. She nodded for a moment, but then her eyes filled with guilt as she looked at her brother. “I’ll be okay. You deserve your own life. My problems are my own-“

“Your problems should be his too!” Natsu yelled, fired up again. She fumed and ranted and Shouyo just quietly nodded at her. He was getting dizzy again. Despite the aching pit in his lower regions, he was dead tired, which never happened. Usually, he barely slept, but sleep lay heavy over his body and soon it claimed him again, his sister mid-rant. She fell deathly silent when she noticed his slow breathing, staring at Shouyo. 

“Shouyo...” she whispered, panicked. “This cannot be good for you...”

x

He awoke again to the smell of food; Natsu sounded like she was in the kitchen. He was hungry, but not just for food. With the memories of his fever dream clinging to him, he ran to the bathroom with slick running down his legs and he turned the shower on hot. 

Panting hard, he pressed a palm to cool tile, letting the warm water run over his slim frame as he trembled with how hard he was masturbating. His hand would not stop; when it wasn’t enough just jacking off, his hand on the shower tile slipped down and between his ass cheeks, and he sank to a squat. He grabbed his suction cup dildo left on the wall from his last heat, sticking it to the floor and mounting it smoothly. His hips jerked fast as he bit into his hand, tears streaming down because this wasn’t even touching what he needed. He couldn’t get there; it was just clawing frustration that grew and grew until he felt like he might be dying. Was this it? If he couldn’t use his toys anymore, if he couldn’t cum without- He fell limp to the shower floor and sobbed as the water above him slowly turned ice cold, and still he could not move for the despair that had a grip on him. 

“Shouyo!” Natsu burst in and let out a sob at his trembling, blue body, icy cold but unable to move. She slammed the water off and peeled him off the tile, slick trailing uselessly out along the tile floor behind him. He was panting, shaking with how hard he needed it. Even his sister smelled good. He clawed at her face and whimpered, but she tucked him tighter to her chest in a big towel. “Shouyo! Tell me what to do!” she begged desperately, but something was different this time. She was breathing hard, ragged pulls of air. She was flushed. 

The scent that should never have affected her was strong enough to make her react. Shouyo lost his reason as his eyes blurred, and he tried to grab her face again. With a yelp, the only sane one, and barely, she smacked him away, pushing him away from her as she scrambled backwards. Her hand whipped over her mouth and nose and she stared at Shouyo with wide eyes. Slowly, his vision cleared. 

“Shouyo,” she begged, still only thinking of him. “What am I supposed to do?! Tell me-“

She scrambled for her phone, which had dropped from her hand just outside his bathroom when she’d spotted him. “What’s his phone number?!” she screamed, going a little unhinged as Shouyo’s pheromones clung to the wet air. He was trying desperately to calm down, but the more he tried, the worse it became. 

“Don’t. Don’t...” he muttered, and she stared at him with disbelief so clear in her pretty brown eyes. 

“At a time like this, Sho-!” she screamed at him. “He needs to be here! God, look at how much damage he’s already done to you! Your body can’t handle this! At this rate, you’ll die-“ Her voice broke on an ugly sob and she pressed blindly at her phone, pressed it to her ear as she sank to her forehead, body going weak. She dragged herself out of the bathroom with a weak apology and shut the door on him as he still begged her not to call Wakatoshi. 

“Mom,” she whispered, hand cupped over her phone and mouth. Her voice trembled so badly. “Mom, it’s Shouyo- I don’t know what to do!”

x

Someone was singing, a scent so calming and familiar that Shouyo wanted to slip back into sleep, but his body pulled him out of his dream. He was hot, hot, incredibly hot. His skin was leaking sweat and tears and other fluids he couldn’t speak of. His eyesight was bleary and his thoughts unfocused. He stared at the ceiling above him for a long, long time, thoughtless. He was wrapped up like a burrito, his raging boner and everything contained inside with his heat, and he felt like his body was giving up on him. Soft singing caught his attention again as a cool cloth was pressed to his forehead.

“Shouyo,” his mother called, her voice sounding far away. Worry made her look years older, and his sister was nowhere to be seen. Ah, no wonder; his pheromones clogged the air in his small room. He struggled in his blanket cave. “Baby, I’m sorry but all I can do is try to break this heat like a fever. I know it’s hard, I’m so sorry.” She looked truly mournful as he struggled harder and she had to hold him down. She was crying now. 

“Shouyo, I thought this would be the best thing for you, but I’m so sorry-!”

Shouyo rolled his head this way and that like that might clear the fog, but it clung to him. “Mama, don’t-“ he whispered hoarsely. Had he been screaming in his sleep? His fingers raked hard over his skin, an itch he couldn’t scratch. “Mama,” he begged. Something pressed against the skin behind his balls and he shivered in his heat. Suddenly, he realized that part of the mess in his blanket was his cum. His mother, most likely, had slipped a prostate massager into him, the roughest and cruelest way to wring an orgasm out of a male omega, but what else could she have done? Still, despite the mess in his pants, he was no less needy. 

“Mama, sorry,” he whispered on a broken sob. To think of his sweet mother cleaning him off and putting that thing in him, when that was the last thing she probably ever wanted to have to do for her son- he hated that his situation was now hurting those he loved the most. His mother’s eyes looked so tired. How long had it been?

She sank away from him, pressing her hands to his cheeks. “Please, please break,” she begged of the fever with a bowed head and clenched eyes. Shouyo, too, prayed with her for this terrible heat to wither away, before it withered him away. His mouth and throat were so dry that even speaking was hard. No tears came now. 

“Drink!” his mother yelped when she saw him smacking his tongue to the roof of his mouth, hoping for moisture. She hauled him up and made him drink a whole bottle of water. 

“Shouyo, how has it come to this? Where is that husband of yours?”

“Mama, it’s okay,” he whispered brokenly. “He didn’t ask for this. He’s still a good... a good man.” His eyes shut; he was so bone tired but sleep refused to come now that his body was ravaged by this ailment. Even as he came again, there was no satisfaction in it, no release. It was awful, and Shouyo would rather just be left to die if this was his fate.

“Shouyo, my sweetest boy...” His mom laid her head to his chest as she listened to his pounding heart, as she cried for her baby boy. “The curse of being an Omega was never something I wished for my children to have to endure and carry, but I had hoped you would find a good partner to help you. I’m so sorry, Shouyo...”

“Mama, it’s okay,” he murmured again with a drunken smile, eyes far away. “I love him, so much. Even now, I adore him. He’s the one for me, I know it, but maybe I’m just not the one for him. If I could just learn how to be okay with that, if my body-“

“Shouyo!” cried his mother. “This is absolutely no way to live! You’ll die! Shouyo, don’t you understand that a neglected Omega in heat- it’s the slowest and most painful way for us to die. We are not meant to be unloved. Our bodies quite literally reject it.

“That’s what’s happening to you now, Shouyo. Your body knows you have an Alpha and yet your Alpha is not here, and so your body is breaking... down-!”

Shouyo smacked his lips together again, in a daze that nothing could penetrate, not even sleep. “I love him. I love him so much...” he murmured over and over again. He stared up at the ceiling like he was seeing things and he didn’t sleep a wink as the last four days of his cycle passed and he barely knew what time was. 

x

His room was quiet around him when Shouyo finally snapped to, head turning to the side, looking for the person who had been there by his side. Who was it that had been there? She was gone now, along with the memory from the past week. When he sat up, his body was a normal temperature, and his skin was clean. He wore a plain shirt and shorts, and his sheets felt freshly cleaned. He smacked his lips; he was hydrated. Still, he reached for the bottle by his bed and gulped it all down. His mind felt hazy, but he knew it was miraculous that his heat had broken. It had felt so impossible- how long ago was it now that he’d last had a conscious thought? He slowly pulled himself off his bed and he padded to the living room where his phone sat atop the dining room table, placed there by someone, collected off the kitchen floor. He picked it up. Sunday evening. He turned to the kitchen in a wide-eyed panic. Wakatoshi would be home soon! His head jerked to the front door as he heard a noise, and he padded forward in his house slippers. Thankfully, the house smelled clean. Who was it again that had come? 

Shouyo pressed first his eye to the peephole and then his ear to the door when he saw nothing. Silence greeted him, and he wondered if he’d imagined it. He was about to pull away from the door when a familiar, angry voice called, “About time you showed up, isn’t it?”

His sister probably had her back to the door, sitting outside their apartment. How long had she sat there? Was she the one who had cleaned him and cared for him, broken his fever? No... she had... left. Shouyo blinked in confusion as he pressed his ear tighter to the door. Whoever his sister had spoken to was silent. 

“And so, where have you been while my brother was suffering?”

“I don’t think that’s any of your business!” Wakatoshi’s voice froze Shouyo even as his spine trembled, hips shaking in the air at the sound of his Alpha. 

“It is my business! He’s still my brother! He was mine before he was ever yours, and you’re a rotten excuse for an Alpha at this rate!”

Someone growled loudly, and the door thumped hard against Shouyo’s cheek. He pulled back in shock, muffled grunts and fighting noises sounding. He sprang up and peered out of the peephole, but he couldn’t see anything. 

“Say that again,” breathed Wakatoshi low into his sister’s face, and Shouyo knew they were right against the door now. His legs buckled and he sank to the floor; his Alpha was just on the other side of the door. Why was he so far away?

Natsu was quiet, her scent slowly simmering down to a slow burn, while Wakatoshi’s stayed strong and desperately dominating. 

“If you knew what my brother went through while you’re away- You do know that Omegas die from neglect, don’t you?”

There was another thump, and Shouyo pulled himself up again, and now he could see Wakatoshi. His face was both pale and flushed red, his eyes wide and angrily confused. He wiped a hand across his mouth. He didn’t respond, and Natsu stepped up to him and blocked Shouyo’s view. He actually whined aloud, hand slapping to his mouth as his eyes went wide and he sank down to the floor, hiding. 

“I’m warning you now. If you leave Shouyo alone again, he will die, maybe not then, but slowly. Your Omega is suffering, and do you even care-“

“Of course I care!” yelled Wakatoshi, a dangerous, unhinged tone to his voice. It made Shouyo shake. 

“If you care, then take care of him.” Natsu’s words were like a hammer dropping down. “Man up, or next time, he might not-“ Her voice went deathly silent and Shouyo felt her words like a death sentence in his heart. Fear gripped him as memories from the last week washed back in harsh waves. 

“Just fucking man up,” she hissed. “Don’t hurt my brother anymore.”

Footsteps treaded away and Shouyo shrank into a corner as he waited for the door to burst open, for Wakatoshi’s anger. But when he opened the door, his face was pale and he was silent. He took his shoes and coat off and then he turned to Shouyo and gathered him up without a word like he’d done back in high school. Shouyo clung to him. 

“I didn’t make dinner ye-“

“Let’s order out,” Wakatoshi cut him off in a grim voice. He was staring straight ahead and the redhead could not see his face. His skin was cold and clammy. “Whatever you want.”

Shouyo was set on the couch as Wakatoshi went to go collect some menus, Shouyo barely capable of making such a big decision as what he wanted to eat. With a frustrated growl and a fist to the coffee table that rattled half the room, Wakatoshi stood and stalked away, deciding for them instead. Shouyo couldn’t read the room, his head swimming with fear and the fragility of his being. He couldn’t focus, and he felt frustrated. Why wouldn’t the fog clear? He felt stupid. He sat in silence as Wakatoshi stalked around, as he sat heavy on the couch with his laptop. Shouyo stared at the distance between them, at Wakatoshi’s set shoulders and thumping foot as he leaned forward towards his computer. He didn’t look at Shouyo or say a word, and Shouyo wondered... 

How mad was he, and why...

x

The silence that Shouyo had come to love and find peaceful between them was gone, replaced by a deafening still that made his skin itch and his heart beat irregularly. Wakatoshi did not speak to Shouyo, and Shouyo tried to not interrupt a man who looked like he was lost in space, drowning in thoughts. Shouyo would often feel Wakatoshi staring at him, but his eyes were always glazed over, the man far away from their small apartment. Shouyo didn’t know what he was supposed to do. 

The first few days after his last heat had been hard on Shouyo; his body had protested everything he did, and getting back into his usual rhythm was difficult. The fever had taken a lot out of him, and his appetite was slow to return, so he was weak, tired all the time, cranky but he bit that back. Sometimes Shouyo would look at Wakatoshi and notice a pained look cross his face, his eyes still gazing at things that weren’t there, and Shouyo would take a moment to rest his head down and breathe. 

“Shouyo,” Wakatoshi called suddenly on the fourth day, and Shouyo’s knees nearly buckled, heart beat spiking. With a tight grip on the counter, he turned his head with wide eyes as Wakatoshi stepped up behind him. In a softer tone, shy again, he murmured, “You don’t have to do all this if you don’t feel good.”

His eyes turned glassy again and Shouyo stared up at the man, who for a moment had truly sounded like an Alpha, so much that it had made Shouyo’s knees go weak. He slowly straightened himself up and tried to wave it off, but Wakatoshi caught his hand, sharp eyes back to present. 

“Sit down, Shouyo. You never rest.” Shouyo blinked. He didn’t think the other man had noticed. Slowly, he followed Wakatoshi, his small fingers gripped tight on the man’s hand as he was led to the living room. 

“But there’s laundry-“ he protested.

Wakatoshi stubbornly set him down on the couch. 

“And dinner-!”

“Your sister is bringing us food,” Wakatoshi snapped, eyes flashing for a moment, but then he went silent again. 

“Will you eat it?” whispered Shouyo with a quivering voice. Wakatoshi pulled away and didn’t respond, grabbing a blanket and extra pillow for Shouyo. He turned on the TV, pulled out his laptop to sit down in the armchair next to the couch, and silence fell again, only the familiar sound of clicking keys and a comedy show on in the background. Shouyo found himself more focused on Wakatoshi than the show. 

Slowly, the man’s fingers on his keyboard slowed, and he set his elbow on the arm of his chair, head tilting down to rest in it as his eyes shifted to the redhead. Shouyo startled with an unattractive noise, but Wakatoshi didn’t reprimand him. They watched each other silently, Shouyo’s cheeks going red. 

“Shouyo, are you really okay with this kind of life?”

The question startled the redhead, his eyes flitting up and away and then back, eyelids fluttering. He had to think about it, because it was a loaded question and the man deserved the honest truth. Finally, though, he still responded with a small smile, a confident, “Yes.

“Just like this it’s fine. It’s just my heat that’s-“ he fell silent, smile slipping. His eyes drifted away again. 

“But you’re an Omega,” Wakatoshi said awkwardly. “Your heat is part of... your life...” Words fell away to silence. 

“Yeah,” whispered Shouyo with a self-deprecating laugh. “Sorry for all this trouble I’ve brought into your life. Please don’t worry about m-“

A fist slammed down hard against the arm of the chair he sat on, and Shouyo’s eyes went wide as his lips pressed shut together. He watched Wakatoshi from the corner of his eyes, scared. The man was staring at the wall in front of him, silent again. 

“It’s not like I wanted to,” he murmured under his breath, quiet. Shouyo thought maybe he’d misheard; he didn’t utter a sound. 

When Natsu rang the doorbell, Shouyo pulled himself off the couch, walking himself to the front door with a blanket cape dragging behind. His sister greeted him with a concerned smile, grabbing his face to press a kiss to his forehead. She glanced to the right, expression shifting to disgust for a moment when she spotted the top of Wakatoshi’s head. Her shoes were kicked off and she marched herself into the kitchen, Shouyo following behind with trepidation. Loudly, Natsu asked him, “Shouyo, darling, how are you doing?”

Shouyo blinked big brown eyes at her; his sister had never been one for theatrics. “I’m okay,” he whispered back.

“Just okay?!” she cried in loud dismay, and Shouyo cringed this time. She glanced past the wall of the kitchen to see if Wakatoshi was paying attention. With a huff, she pulled back again. Quieter now, “Are you really okay?”

Shouyo at first nodded his head, but slowly it shifted to a shake, as tears bloomed fat and hot. He was not okay. This life should have been everything he wanted, but he couldn’t admit to Wakatoshi that his heat was taking so much out of him, even now. Natsu grabbed him as his legs went to jelly, and she sighed in aggravation as she held him tenderly. 

“Mama was beside herself...” 

“Tell her I’m sorry-“

“Stop.” Fierce brown silenced him for a moment. 

“I’m sorry to you too, nee-chan.”

“Stop that,” she sighed, pain on her face. He pressed his lips together. Her eyes drifted up again, her face twisting to anger, and she whispered fiercely, “I’m so glad I didn’t marry him. One of us would have been dead long ago. I cannot... stand him.”

Despite it all, Shouyo giggled against his sister’s chest. How ironic that she wanted nothing to do with him and Shouyo wanted no life without him. Shouyo should have been perfect for him... He stopped laughing abruptly and sighed heavily, and Natsu growled, picking him up and carrying him to his bed without a word. 

“You need to rest,” she told him. A huge shadow blocked the light flooding in from the hallway, and Natsu kissed his temple before standing and pushing out past Wakatoshi, shutting the door behind her. Footsteps shuffled, words too muffled to hear exchanged, and Natsu’s scent faded. Feet shuffled again, awkward, unsure. 

“Shouyo?” Wakatoshi’s voice was shaky, and Shouyo felt it like regret deep in his chest. 

“I’m okay, just tired,” he called. Slowly, Wakatoshi shuffled away. 

Ten minutes later, he was back, shuffling this way and that, nervous behavior. This time he didn’t speak though. Sometimes he would stop, like he was listening for Shouyo’s breathing, or sounds of distress. He would shuffle away and then back, a constant pattern until Shouyo fell asleep. 

In the morning, Wakatoshi looked like he’d barely slept a wink. 

x

“Aren’t you going to work?”

Wakatoshi looked up, lost in thought once again. He blinked at Shouyo. “I told Dad I’d be working from home this week.” His tone was so matter-of-fact that Shouyo froze, shocked, and as they stared at each other, he nearly burned his eggs. He pulled the pan back with a yelp, eyes wide.

“If you’re doing this for me, you don’t need to-!”

Wakatoshi slowly rested his head against his upturned palm, staring at Shouyo. “I just want to,” he mumbled. 

“What was that?” 

Wakatoshi just shook his head. “Someone has to watch to make sure you rest.”

“I’m fine, already! See!” He held up his pan of slightly burnt eggs and a moment later turned beet red. Olive eyes watched him quietly, impossible to read as always. Shouyo didn’t have a clue what Wakatoshi was thinking lately, and his actions were confusing. He was stricter, but also kinder, more patient and at the same time impatient. Shouyo had to fight him the other day to start making food again, and finally Wakatoshi had let him. 

“I’ll eat those,” Wakatoshi waved his chopsticks and shut his eyes as he watched Shouyo run to the trash can to discard his eggs, freezing the redhead. 

“They’re burnt, Wakatoshi!”

“They’ll still taste good since you made them,” Wakatoshi said, shrugging. He waved Shouyo over again with his chopsticks. 

“I’ll eat these and I’ll make you some others,” Shouyo mumbled with a shake of his head. He slid the eggs onto a new plate but Wakatoshi’s voice stopped him.

“Shouyo!” A wild shiver ran up Shouyo’s spine, so violent that it immobilized him for a moment. Heat rolled through his belly and he had to physically try to calm himself. When Wakatoshi spoke like that, Shouyo nearly lost himself. More and more lately, he couldn’t control himself anymore. 

With a hand and sleeve over his mouth, Wakatoshi barked, “Do as I say and give me the eggs.”

Shouyo walked over on wooden legs, trying to regulate his breathing. “Just... a minute,” he whispered hoarsely as he moved slowly. Wakatoshi’s scent was spiking as well, whether Shouyo was just noticing it in his own heightened state or his scent was actually growing thicker. The redhead set the plate down and had to switch his grip to the table, breathing heavy. Thoughts raced in his head. Wasn’t it better if his husband just went to work as he should? Every day was getting harder and harder; at this rate, Shouyo’s heat would start in just a few days, and it had only been two weeks. 

When he regained his strength, he turned to run off but a hand around his wrist caught him, and Wakatoshi shifted to face him in his chair. “Come here,” he hushed as he roughly pulled Shouyo between his legs, hands on his thin waist. Heat rolled through Shouyo even when he didn’t mean it, but Wakatoshi had never touched him like this.

“Have you been eating?” the man murmured as he felt up and down Shouyo’s waist, unconcerned with the way Shouyo’s body was reacting so strongly to his touch. The redhead covered his mouth and begged in heated breaths, “Please, Wakatoshi-“

The truth was that Shouyo hadn’t been able to stomach much food lately. His stomach felt constantly tied in knots, and he was nauseous from the violent rise and fall that Wakatoshi’s actions were causing. This wasn’t what he’d meant when he’d asked the man to be nicer. Something dangerous was bubbling up now, and Shouyo, without thinking, violently pushed Wakatoshi away as he scrambled backwards. 

“Go to work!” he yelled with wide, leaking eyes. “Don’t worry about me, please!” Everything that Wakatoshi did, whether intentional or not, was making Shouyo’s body react violently. His stomach churned now and he had to fight back the bile rising as he clapped a hand over his mouth. “Please!” he begged against his hand, stomach doing somersaults and Shouyo felt so sick he passed out on the floor. As his scent faded with sleep, slow hands picked him up and carried him to bed, Wakatoshi’s face cast in shadows. For a moment, he held Shouyo’s hand, but then he pulled away and practically ran out, ran to work, running away. 

x

“It’s coming,” whispered Shouyo fiercely, phone to his ear.

“Already?!” Natsu sounded livid. “What has that bastard-“

“Natsu, I can’t... tell him! I can’t watch him leave again...”

“Make him stay. I’ll hold the door closed if I have to.”

Hot tears fell down Shouyo’s face. “I don’t want it to be like this. I don’t want to force him, but I know, I know he won’t stay.” Still, a small voice of hope inside his head whispered, “But what if he does this time? He’s been so nice...”

“He won’t stay,” he reaffirmed aloud, but his voice shook and he wasn’t sure. 

“So don’t tell him. Shouyo, if you have to force him, then please, for the love of god, just do it-“ She choked on her words, too emotional to speak. Her only brother was suffering and she could do absolutely nothing. 

“Don’t come this time, Natsu. It’ll be bad for you.”

“Stop worrying about me! I’ll send Mama-“

“Please don’t!” Shouyo screamed, tears streaming as he begged. “I cannot... see her in pain like that...” His mother didn’t have to know his heat was coming two weeks early. At this rate, he’d have another one at the end of the month, anyways. 

“Shouyo!” hissed Natsu fiercely. 

“Don’t come,” begged the redhead, sobbing now. He was too loud, so he clenched a hand over his mouth but he could already hear the thundering footsteps coming. “Don’t come in!” he screamed. _Please, God, have mercy._

A rush of cool air fanned into Shouyo’s hot room as the door burst open, and Wakatoshi was making his way to Shouyo’s bed before he could even register the situation. He sank to his knees and grabbed Shouyo’s arms before his eyes went wide and he froze. Shouyo’s hand and phone fell away as Wakatoshi choked, “Already...?”

Shouyo pushed weakly at his chest, trying to scramble away, but as Wakatoshi took a deep breath, his hands gripped tighter at Shouyo’s arms. 

“It’s only been two weeks,” he muttered, but when he looked up, his eyes were going glassy. Fear and heat spiked Shouyo’s gut together, need and desperation swirling. He had to get away, he had to make Wakatoshi stay. Two conflicting thoughts, and his body refused to move. 

“Please, Wakatoshi, please-“ A wild look that petrified Shouyo flashed in the man’s eyes and he thought, _Not like this, please not like this!_ Still, his husband’s hands wrung his arms as strong Alpha scents mixed with his own Omega pheromones. Shouyo hiccuped, inhaled sharply, and heat rushed violently through him. Here it was, his heat there in just a split second thanks to Wakatoshi. 

“Go!” he screamed as Wakatoshi froze, his face pulling into a horrifying expression, as his hands left bruises. As much as Shouyo needed, _needed_ his Alpha, stronger was the feeling that he didn’t want him like this, Wakatoshi out of his head from the smell. He wanted intentional and thoughtful, not crazed, a rape of their feelings. 

Wakatoshi grunted as he got his legs under him, standing up from his knees, but his hands wouldn’t loose on Shouyo as he dragged the Omega up, off the bed. 

“Shouyo!” he growled, his eyes alight with fire. Veins in his neck bulged as he flexed his arms. His body wouldn’t let him release Shouyo.

“You’re not thinking straight! Don’t do it like this!” Shouyo begged as tears streamed down his face. 

“ _Don’t rape me, Alpha!_ ”

The scream, like a slap in the face, made Wakatoshi’s hands unclench and Shouyo dropped like a rag doll to the floor as Wakatoshi turned on his heel to run out. The door of Shouyo’s bedroom slammed behind his back and Shouyo felt incredibly alone, the scent of his Alpha clinging to every single thing: his room, his nose, his sheets, his every thought. His heat snapped back its head and roared as Shouyo realized very suddenly that his Alpha was actually leaving. 

“No, God, please don’t go, don’t go,” he begged as his mind went blank from the heat that rolled through his tiny body. “ _Don’t go, Wakatoshi, I need you! You always leave but I need you!_ ” Screaming again but the house was silent. Wakatoshi was long gone. In heat-induced rage and desperation, Shouyo sprang to his feet and bolted out into the living room, and when he confirmed with his eyes that he was truly alone, he let out the most ear-shattering, heart-breaking scream as his heart tore apart. 

He was... alone. His Alpha had deserted him for the last time. 

“Good... bye... Toshi...”


	7. Needed

Wakatoshi froze the moment he heard it. He’d barely made it five steps out of the apartment. His mind was still reeling; this was an Omega in heat. His mind had swiped completely clean, not a single thought surfacing. He wasn’t sure how he’d gotten away, if he was honest. He took deep breaths of the air outside, clean, untainted. He was trying to plan where to go when Shouyo’s scream had torn through all of his senses. 

_An Omega needs you._

No.

_Your Omega needs you._

And yet Wakatoshi couldn’t turn around and admit that maybe he needed his Omega too. Weeks spent thinking and it had not occurred to him. An unknown feeling rose up and suddenly he was running, running again. 

Was this... his rut?

x

Shouyo wasn’t sure what time was anymore. Maybe only a few hours passed, but it felt like days, weeks. He waited to die as heat ravaged his body. He couldn’t even move from the rug in front of the genkan. 

Consciousness slipped in and out. Time felt unreal. Shouyo just wanted to feel okay again, to feel... nothing at all. 

With his last conscious thought, he thought again of Wakatoshi, of his love, his Alpha. The man he’d never been meant to have. 

A tear slipped down as his thoughts slipped away, as his heat took him. 

x

Wakatoshi grunted and growled into the pillow beneath his face. He’d been rutting violently for the past three days now, and nothing would ease the need to knot in an Omega. Any Omega would do, surely, at this point. Sweat ran from his body in rivers and the mattress was soaked beneath him. He’d barely made it to the hotel before he devoured every Omega in sight. If he could just get- a knot out in an Omega. 

Rubbing violently at his swollen cock, he moved to the edge of the bed and searched for his phone. His fingers shook as he opened his browser, his other hand still stroking rapidly at his hardness. A call service, a brothel, how did you find Omega prostitutes? His hand faltered, unsure of what to search. Instead, he looked through his phone’s contact list. 

Numbers of girls he didn’t even know flashed by, leftover relics from high school when he’d added numbers just to appease desperate women, and he clicked the first one he could recall to be an Omega. He texted his hotel number and in all capitals wrote “Now.” Something washed through him that left a bitter taste in his mouth, but he set his phone away and waddled to the shower, his hand never stopping at his cock. He had to wash, at the very least. 

All too soon his relief would come strolling in, and he could... be free.

x

“Sorry about the mess,” Wakatoshi told the front desk attendant as he slid his credit card to her. She blinked at him with a confused smile, shaking her hands as she accepted it. Wakatoshi had snapped awake this morning with a clear head and then horrification as he’d viewed the room around him. The small stack of bills he’d left for the cleaning lady felt like only a small amount for reparations, and Wakatoshi had never felt so guilty. 

Still, his rut was over. He had survived. He would have to head to work first, since he’d awoken late. Thankfully, he had a suit there to wear, due to his overnights at the office before. His mind felt clear for the first time in months. 

He had found his answer. It was so simple all along. 

x

The day dragged on, but finally he was headed home. He scrolled through his social media accounts; in his mind, his speech repeated over and over again. He’d found clarity in his hotel room, the answer for both he and Shouyo. They couldn’t go on like this, after all. This marriage that had been built on tricks and lies, could not continue on like this. 

Wakatoshi tapped at his phone as the elevator rose, glowing numbers blinking upwards until they stopped when he reached their apartment’s floor. He walked out, eyes dead ahead, nothing to sidetrack him now. Why hadn’t he just realized this from the very beginning? 

He opened the chat with the Omega girl to thank her, phone in his left hand as he opened the door with his right. 

“I’m home.”

A wall of heat hit him in the face like a wrecking ball and Wakatoshi went very stiff. Just like that, his rut snapped back, the frustration he’d felt the past week roaring back to life again like a lion. He barely registered the thunk his phone made as it slipped from his hand and to the ground. Unsent was his message of thanks, and above that was the snarky text of rejection the girl had sent back that first night. 

Oh yes. Wakatoshi had come to a very clear realization that night. The rejection had barely even hurt, because enlightenment had flooded his heart with warmth. Still, everything washed away now. Oh, what a fool he’d been. 

His Omega lay on the rug by the front door, soaked in sweat and slick, tears and saliva. His Omega looked like he’d been unable to move an inch. If it wasn’t for the shallow breathing, the only sound in the room, Wakatoshi would have thought the redhead to be dead. Horror washed over Wakatoshi along with that unrestrained urge that he no longer wanted to fight. 

He’d come to a realization, and why had it taken him so long? 

It did not matter that Shouyo was a boy, or maybe it mattered an awful lot. The point was, to Wakatoshi, Shouyo was his one and only soulmate, his Omega. He always had been. The jealousy and anger he’d felt all along, it was so clear now. Oh, what a fool he’d been. All he’d ever longed for was this tiny, little human being, who loved him more than anything, who thought of his Alpha as his whole world. 

“Sorry, Shouyo,” Wakatoshi hushed as reason left him. All he could smell was that thick, raw need of an Omega in heat and it would not have mattered who it was, except it did. It mattered a lot. Wakatoshi rushed forward and roared as he swept his Omega up to his chest. Shouyo was soaked, unconscious, light in his arms. Everywhere, he was wet, and he smelled so heavenly. Wakatoshi ran to his bedroom and that was the last he knew of what he did as he lost all grip and control of his actions. 

x

Shouyo awoke with a snap, not even sure how long he’d been out, but fear rammed through his heart like an ice pick when he saw Wakatoshi above him, eyes glinting, an Alpha in rut, teeth clenched and nearly foaming at the mouth. Shouyo’s heart choked him as it flew into his throat. No, no, not like this, Alpha! Please, Alpha, no! His clothes were torn off and Shouyo could find no relief in the scent of his Alpha, because fear had a vice grip on him. 

He was going to be raped by an Alpha in rut, the man incapable of stopping himself or seeing clearly who it was that he was holding down. “Omega, Omega,” the man panted in rough, sharp exhales. Shouyo felt real fear as he stared up at Wakatoshi. 

“Please don’t do this, Alpha, not like this!” His voice was so high and strung out that he wondered if it sounded like words to Wakatoshi. Eyes flashed up to him and Wakatoshi growled. He looked mad, out of his mind. 

Rough hands flipped Shouyo over, and his own hands flew to cover his neck. If anything, he had to protect at least this. No matter how much his body was screaming, begging for his Alpha, to be mated and claimed, finally to be an Omega who belonged to someone- He couldn’t let Wakatoshi make a mistake like this. He would marry Wakatoshi every day, over and over again, trick him every single time, but this, this he could not let Wakatoshi do. He wasn’t in his right mind; Wakatoshi did not actually want Shouyo. He wanted the Omega that was in heat underneath him. It did not matter that it was Shouyo. No, it mattered greatly. 

Because Shouyo knew that it couldn’t be him. It couldn’t be Shouyo for Wakatoshi, and if all he could do was make sure he wasn’t bitten, tying Wakatoshi to himself for life, that was what he would do until his last breath. He loved Wakatoshi, and he would not, could not tie him down to a sinking ship like himself. 

But he was weak to begin with, and his heat, dragged on for nine days now, made him crumble like paper when touched. When hands pulled his own away and Wakatoshi held them above his head, there was nothing he could do, but still he would try. Even if it killed him, he had to try. No other options left, Shouyo really began to scream. He kicked at Wakatoshi, tried to yank his hands out of the vice grip, but he was weak. God, he was just an Omega. He had never been meant to stand a chance against an Alpha, and certainly not this Alpha. With pure dread, he realized all he had was his voice. 

And so he just screamed. 

“Not like this, Wakatoshi! This is not what you want!”

As his pants and underwear were torn away and fingers slid heavenly into his ass, he bucked and screamed again. “Don’t do this, please, I’m begging you!”

Wave after wave, Wakatoshi’s scent washed over Shouyo. He clenched his eyes and begged anyone, anything to please, stop him. Something hot pressed to his ass and Shouyo’s eyes snapped wide, tears blurring his vision as he wanted so badly to just give in to this. But he couldn’t, he wouldn’t, so he screeched, “ _Alpha, you’re hurting me!_ ” 

Wakatoshi didn’t even pause. Instead, a strong hand pushed Shouyo’s head down into a pillow, muffling his screaming. The heat spread him open and burst inside, and Shouyo hiccuped out a high sound. Something indescribable flooded through him; relief, he thought. Finally, finally, here was what he’d needed all this time. He sobbed into his pillow. No, not his pillow, his Alpha’s. Wakatoshi’s scent flooded through his system and Shouyo’s eyes rolled up, ecstasy previously unknown making him loose his grip on reality. He whimpered, muffled into the pillow that carried the scent of the man he loved. He bit the inside of his cheek and begged for his sanity to cling to him. He couldn’t let... this happen... not like this. “Please, Toshi, you can’t do this,” he sobbed, hiccuped. ”Please don’t do this. Not like this, not when I fought so long... to protect you from this...”

His mind blanked out, and it was hard to breathe. Wakatoshi’s pheromones cloyed at his nose and he couldn’t inhale anything but that thick scent. As Wakatoshi’s knot swelled blissfully inside Shouyo and the man leaned heavy over him, Shouyo knew it was coming. He let out one last broken cry and shut his eyes tight. “Please, Alpha,” he begged weakly. “Don’t do it like this.” Wakatoshi groaned as his fangs slid loose from their confines, his gums, his body prepared to mark this Omega as his very own. Hot breath washed over Shouyo’s neck and he clenched every muscle in his body, petrified.

Something hot and wet trickled down his neck; Shouyo barely registered that the pain he’d expected never came. With a muffled cry, Wakatoshi released inside Shouyo and the incredible rush was beyond words. The redhead was barely aware of the heavy hand on the back of his neck as he was swept away.

Silently, Wakatoshi pulled away, pulling out and letting his cum spill down Shouyo’s thighs, mixed with slick and a little bit of blood. A sweaty palm wiped over bloody lips and teeth, fangs that had emerged so suddenly aching. Shouyo listened to footfalls, to the sound of a shower turning on. Slowly, feeling returned, heat washing away and rationality slipping back to Shouyo and he realized what a terrible and yet wonderful thing had just occurred. He slowly sat up and pressed trembling fingers to his neck, sliding carefully back through hot blood. 

There was no pain. There was no wound. In fact, Shouyo had barely a scratch on him. His hand fell away, red fingertips curled up, and tears sprang up hot and fast. 

Relief and disappointment like hot, burning embers pained him. Carefully, he slid off of Wakatoshi’s bed, cupping a hand under his ass to catch what he could. He rushed to his own bathroom, scared to even breathe. He had to make sure. 

He climbed up onto his sink counter and pulled at the skin at the back of his neck, not sure what he even wanted to find there. But his skin was pale, unmarred. Not a blemish in sight. Stiffly, he pulled himself off the counter and stepped into a blazing hot shower. He let everything wash away, and let his emotions settle into his heart. 

Sad. He was... so sad. He would never have a tie to Wakatoshi. Even his heat, in the end, had not been enough to make Wakatoshi his. He sobbed against the wall of the shower, ears ringing and all he could hear were his echoing cries. 

Numbly, he dried himself, clothed himself. He found Wakatoshi sitting at the dining room table, face pale and eyes unfocused. The fear didn’t come this time, Wakatoshi seeming almost meek as he sat silently at the table. Olive eyes snapped to Shouyo when he came into view, small feet treading carefully as those eyes followed him, as Shouyo stepped around the table. There, trembling against the wooden top of the table, lay Wakatoshi’s left hand, fingers mangled and still bleeding. Shouyo sank down, hands to the table as he leaned over it. Tears spilled down his cheeks, and he thought it was so... sad. Even in his irrationality and complete loss of control, Wakatoshi had known that he didn’t want to bite Shouyo. The urge had come, as it did so naturally for every Alpha, and yet he had resisted when most Alphas would be unable to. Shouyo inhaled Wakatoshi, the scent of his blood, his clean skin. It was all far too sad, and Shouyo’s heart broke realizing this man would never, ever be his. 

With tears streaming down, the redhead kissed torn fingers. “I’m sorry,” he husked desperately to that hand. Everything was his fault; he knew very well that he’d only brought this wonderful man pain in life. When he stood up again, his eyes were shut. He couldn’t look at Wakatoshi anymore; it ached so... much. He didn’t deserve this Alpha, and Wakatoshi didn’t deserve the hardship Shouyo brought on him. He couldn’t even expect the man to let him stay, to keep up this farce. 

One last meal. He turned away from his Alpha, the man he’d wanted so desperately to be his Mate. “I’ll make you some dinner, so please wait just a bit,” he hushed as he stepped away, petrified for Wakatoshi see his tears. 

“I didn’t want to do it like that.”

Shouyo froze, his Alpha’s voice like a soothing balm. He sounded so broken, and Shouyo’s own heart broke all over again. “Of course,” he whispered breathlessly, scared. He clutched his fingers before him. “You can’t tie yourself to me just because of one moment of irrationality-“

“No,” murmured Wakatoshi’s deep voice. ”...I was very clear-headed. Surprisingly so, I would say...” A chair scraped and foot steps closed the distance between the two of them. 

Shouyo’s heart was in his throat again. “Of course. You were able to keep yourself from making a grave mistake.” The words themselves felt like a noose around his neck, cutting off his air supply. 

“Yes,” Wakatoshi breathed in relief, and Shouyo’s very hopes and dreams shattered to unmendable pieces. Heavy arms closed almost cruelly around Shouyo’s body and a solid weight sank down against his back, a nose to the nape of his neck. “It would have been terrible if I had given in then.”

Shouyo stared with giant eyes leaking tears at the blank wall before him. His mouth slipped slowly open, but nothing was connecting. Absolutely nothing made sense. Warm breath skirted over his neck and Shouyo wasn’t sure what was reality anymore. He was dreaming, had to be dreaming. He tried to pull away, to laugh it off. “Maybe it would be better if we parted ways-“ he choked out breathlessly, mind scrambling to make sense of warm, strong arms around him pulling him back again, of Wakatoshi against his back. Shouyo choked out a laugh, preparing his mind for the goodbye already. He wanted Wakatoshi to just take the out he was giving him. The rest was too cruel. With a jerk, the man behind him pulled back and Shouyo shut his eyes and waited for it, the final rejection. This was it; he’d tried so hard but it wasn’t meant to be. He would be okay. He would be all right alone-

“What are you saying?”

Again, a little more desperate. “Shouyo, what are you saying?!”

Shouyo gritted his teeth, trying to smile even as his world tore to pieces. “I think it would be best for both of us if we just stopped this-“

“Don’t ever say that!”

Wakatoshi’s booming voice shook the whole apartment, and all of Shouyo, too. He stared wide-eyed at the floor, frozen like there was ice in his veins. 

“Don’t say that, Shouyo. I thought we were finally understanding-

“-each other...”

The apartment went still. Shouyo couldn’t breathe at all. He couldn’t make any sense of anything anymore. The silence was deafening. He whirled around, words ready. “Listen, Ushijima, you don’t have to keep pretending-“

A beat of time passed between them, just one, so silent. Everything fell away the moment Shouyo saw the man’s face.

“Huh?” Wakatoshi hushed, trying for a smile. It was shaky and it felt away in a moment. His beautiful face was streaked with tears and he looked so, so sad. “Huh?” he whispered again, quieter this time as he reached up and touched at his face, like he hadn’t even realized he was crying until Shouyo’s eyes met his own. 

“Oh...” he whimpered as the dam broke, as he stared at Shouyo’s face, eyes roaming. “I’m crying...” Olive eyes met with Shouyo’s again, and Wakatoshi fell silent as he watched the redhead with too many unreadable emotions strong on his face. Quiet breathing filled the room around them, two people very still, just existing together for now. 

“When I thought of you wanting to leave me...”

Shouyo couldn’t take it anymore. He turned back to the kitchen and numbly began to pull out ingredients for dinner. Olive eyes watched him, but Wakatoshi didn’t follow him this time. He stood there in perfect silence as Shouyo cooked the man one last meal. He couldn’t let this sway him; Wakatoshi had already made up his mind, hadn’t he? And yet his words ran over and over inside Shouyo’s head, as he tried to find the meaning behind them, what Wakatoshi was thinking. 

As Wakatoshi watched the Omega, lips twisted slowly up into an painfully awkward smile, and more tears rushed down his trembling cheeks. “I guess I really made a big mess of this.”

Shouyo couldn’t disagree, so he kept quiet. Silence settled over them again, as Shouyo plated the man’s food. He walked it silently to the table, passing around the tall man, trying to just be as small as possible. 

“I’m sorry, Shouyo.”

The words were so soft that Shouyo wasn’t sure he’d even heard them. His head was dismissing hopes left and right, and he couldn’t, he couldn’t mistake this- “Wakatoshi- what-?” Shouyo coughed, his throat so dry. 

A warm hand grabbed at Shouyo’s wrist and as Wakatoshi sank to his knees, the smaller male was pulled around, pulled to a solid chest that knocked the breath out of him, in such a really good way. He shut his eyes, which were so tired and aching from all the tears he’d shed. Why couldn’t they just... be happy like this? Warm arms closed around him again and this time Shouyo stretched up on his tippy toes to soak in this last bit of kindness. He pressed his face into Wakatoshi’s neck and inhaled sharply. As the man hugged him tighter, delighted surprise unseen by Shouyo, the redhead wanted to believe, for just one moment, that they could have worked out. Still, he knew it was a pipe dream. 

“I’m so sorry, Toshi...” he whispered to warm skin, lips brushing against it. Wakatoshi shivered, laughed shortly. 

“Hey, Shouyo,” he murmured as he pressed his nose to Shouyo’s wild curls, no longer concerned, smiling; he took his own deep inhale of the Omega’s scent and he knew, he knew Shouyo still loved him. It was all he needed. He wasn’t worried about it anymore, because now he knew that this precious being would always, always stay by his side, whatever he said or thought otherwise. He laughed again, smile pulling so wide that his cheeks ached. ”Hey, Shouyo, don’t you think... we could do that thing again? That... sex, with you.”

A sharp inhale against his neck and Wakatoshi shivered from the rush of it. In a low tone of desire, he murmured, “I’d really like to do it again when we’re not so... impaired by our biology’s need.” He smiled again, pulling Shouyo tighter for a moment before he pulled back. Olive eyes, wet and pupils blown, snapped open; he wanted to see his beloved Omega’s face. 

“Shouyo, what I’m trying to say is...” he huffed, breathless, “will you let me mate you properly, and claim you as my own when we’re both of clear and decided minds?”

That beat of time just after his declaration thrilled him to the core, to see Shouyo’s whole face shift from pure sadness to something angelically pure. Shouyo’s hand flew up to his neck, eyes wide on Wakatoshi. The man could see it all so clearly on his face, and despite his confidence just a moment before, he sighed in relief: in his head, Shouyo was running through their whole conversation so far. 

Realization dawned on the redhead. Wakatoshi wondered if he’d figured out the crucial detail as Shouyo pulled his marred hand forward, as he grasped at it and pressed it to his rosy lips. Maybe Wakatoshi had messed it up, but his intentions had been for the best, and he’d done the best he could with the situation. He shivered at the heat from the kiss; he lowered his head, cheeks burning bright red, but he had to speak with words, so that this precious Omega would clearly understand. He wouldn’t take chances anymore. 

“Please understand, Shouyo, that more than anything I wanted to give in to that raw desire to claim you, but when you were begging me to stop, I had this moment of fear that maybe I was actually doing something very bad, and I couldn’t- I couldn’t bite you and force you to be mine-“ Tears came again, Wakatoshi’s head hung in shame. He couldn’t look up at the other. 

Small hands jerked back, away from Wakatoshi and his face snapped up. Shouyo’s eyes were wild, face flushed bright red as he clenched his teeth. “When all I ever wanted was to be only yours?!” roared Shouyo wildly, hands shaking. He inhaled sharply and pressed his palms back to Wakatoshi’s neck again as he whispered desperately, “I mean, how could you even doubt that-“

“But you were crying and begging me to stop-“ Wakatoshi’s eyes matched Shouyo’s own wide ones, a man desperate to fix what he’d messed up so that his Omega would smile again. “I never wanted to hurt you-“ 

“Never! You could have never!” Tears streamed freely and Shouyo hiccuped, his own desperation to make it all right with his Alpha. They were just two big fools. Shouyo’s thoughts and sentences fell apart, needing to make Wakatoshi see that he loved him, loved him so madly. ”Those things I said- because I didn’t want you to bite me- be forced to be tied down to me, to regret-!”

“Oh,” whispered Wakatoshi in a moment of pure clarity, silence falling with that one syllable, a breath of air. He could see very clearly now how he’d been seen all this time, and really, it was all his own fault. A big fool and the love of his life stared at each other with wide, wet eyes. 

“I see why you would think that...” Wakatoshi murmured as he pressed his forehead to Shouyo’s, eyes closing. With him on his knees, they were almost at the same height, and he thought maybe he should have sank down like this a long time ago so he could have seen what Shouyo saw. What a big, giant fool he’d been...

“What are you saying, Wakatoshi?” Shouyo breathed out, heart racing now. He gripped tighter at the man’s neck, wanting to be so much closer than this but he was still so scared. His thoughts churned and his love for Wakatoshi was... so great. He could not afford to misunderstand anymore.

Warm hands clasped right over Shouyo’s, and with eyes shut and a high gasp, Wakatoshi whispered happily, “I’m saying, Ushijima Shouyo, will you be my Omega for life?”

Shouyo’s knees gave in as breath rushed out of his lungs, but Wakatoshi was ready to catch him, to lift him back up as he stood to his feet, to pull him to a strong chest. “What... just happened...?” Shouyo begged breathlessly, something so warm and giddy bubbling up but wasn’t he still maybe just dreaming this all because wasn’t it way too good to be true- Olive eyes watched him, and suddenly Wakatoshi was rushing closer, unable to bear it a moment longer. This precious man, his Omega-

It was like an explosion, fireworks under Shouyo’s skin. Lips crashed against his own and suddenly he could breathe again. This... this was it. His hands gripped up into brunet hair and he pulled the man closer, deeper. This could not end; Shouyo didn’t want it to. If it ended, reality would come again, and with reality...

No, Wakatoshi had asked Shouyo to be his Omega. Wakatoshi had asked the redhead to be _his_!

“Really?” he gushed as he pulled back, breathless. Wakatoshi blinked at him in confusion, eyes darting down to pretty, pink lips. 

“I mean... yeah...” he breathed out, emotion thick in his voice. Ah, that voice was so nice. Shouyo let himself release an audible shiver against Wakatoshi’s lips. “Yeah-“ Wakatoshi declared strongly as he kissed Shouyo again. A big hand pressed to the back of his head of orange curls and the kiss deepened, teeth nearly scraping together, both reckless newbies. 

“I’d like to keep kissing you forever, too,” Wakatoshi panted. 

“I think that’s part of it-“ shivered Shouyo, “but your food-“ He moaned against sloppy, too-eager lips as Wakatoshi licked at his.

“Let’s just forget about eating, unless it’s you. I don’t want to stop kissing you, Shouyo-“ Wakatoshi had never felt as bold as he did now, with this man who was his whole entire heart, wrapped in his arms and around his neck. He had been such a blind, stubborn fool to ever believe that the fact that Shouyo was a male was important enough to dismiss all of his feelings just like that. The redhead shivered at the desire he felt rushing off of Wakatoshi in waves, at the love in the way the man said his name. Still, he pushed Wakatoshi back. “It’ll get cold-“

“I don’t give a damn!” roared Wakatoshi, pulling Shouyo to him again. Fire roared to life in his bones, desire, need, everything he’d pushed down for so long rushing up very suddenly. The only meal he cared to devour was Shouyo. Sharp teeth slid over soft lips and Shouyo shivered wildly. 

Suddenly, Wakatoshi jerked back, eyes wide. Oh, he’d nearly lost himself again... He stared at Shouyo for a long time before finally, too calmly, setting the other down to the ground. Shouyo blinked up at him in confusion. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so-“ He pulled his hands away and tried to fold them, bent over at his waist because Shouyo’s arms were still wrapped around his neck, and god, he didn’t have the heart to actually pull away-

Shouyo’s eye twitched and he could not believe what a big dumb idiot stood before him. “Are you serious?” he laughed. In a wild boldness that was so _him_ , he cried out, “Do you want to kiss me or not?!” 

Red flushed his cheeks as he tried desperately to keep his false composure from slipping and showing how nervous he was by every single word Wakatoshi said, every move he made. This man was his Alpha and yet he wanted to demand the man never stop, _please don’t stop now!_

“Yes, I’d really like to, but I think I might lose control-“ Wakatoshi, entirely too meek in the face of his Omega, was nothing but the sweetest gentle giant, but Shouyo wouldn’t stand for it, not when finally, finally this man he so longed for was his very own. 

“Then kiss me-“ breathed Shouyo, his whole body screaming that he needed Wakatoshi’s lips on his own again, now! He’d waited all this time, and now, now he was being denied still? Still, it assured him that this was all very real. He shook, but his outrage wasn’t needed. Big arms scooped him back off the floor and he was lifted into the air, against a solid chest as lips crashed against his own once more. Ah. He could breathe. 

“I don’t really know how to do this well, so please tell me,” Wakatoshi roughed against pink lips.

“Stop talking-“ growled Shouyo, and his Alpha growled back, an instinct. Shouyo reveled in it; this was finally as it should be. Everything was falling in line. He pulled himself closer and gave a meek whimper, a sign that Wakatoshi should really just do whatever the heck he wanted to... 

Shouyo was absolutely, undeniably his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The angst is over, but the real question is, is Ushijima gonna stop being a stupid butt? 😂


	8. Reverently Adored

Shouyo tip-toed quietly into the kitchen, bedhead looking especially messy after the sleep he’d just had. Having sex with an Alpha during one’s heat seemed to ensure a really good night’s sleep. He scrubbed at his sleepy eyes and smiled a goofy smile. He couldn’t even express how happy he’d been waking up this morning, recalling everything and knowing truly that it hadn’t been a dream. It still felt unreal in so many ways. How long had Wakatoshi been thinking of him?

If it needed to be confirmed again, Shouyo thought this would do the trick. Standing in nothing but a pair of pajama pants and Shouyo’s apron, which was comedically tiny on him, Wakatoshi stood huddled over the stove, spatula in hand and looking so adorably lost. His hair was messy too, and Shouyo guessed they had both slept very deeply. Looking at Wakatoshi tugged at his heart and he almost didn’t want the other to know he was there. 

That lasted for a few moments; Wakatoshi made the mistake of touching the hot part of the pan, and as he yelped, Shouyo rushed forward with giant eyes. He grabbed at Wakatoshi’s hand, but it was all bandaged from yesterday and unburned.

“Ah,” hushed Wakatoshi almost reverently as big, brown eyes slid slowly up to him. Shouyo thrilled at being so close and the brunet not pulling away. His eyes slipped back down to the thickly bandaged hand that hid beneath it Wakatoshi’s resolve, and he lifted the fingers to his lips and kissed them gently. For a moment, the man’s hand jerked back, but he didn’t pull away as he stood very still. Shouyo lifted his eyes again to see Wakatoshi’s face; he was still staring down at Shouyo, pupils blown now. He looked like he might bolt at any second, so Shouyo had to tread carefully. This was still Wakatoshi after all, who was reserved and stoic and had refused to ever touch Shouyo before. Carefully, the redhead reached up a hand and rubbed it over Wakatoshi’s neck, the highest he could reach. 

“Good... morning,” he whispered with a smile. He was already so happy, even as Wakatoshi looked a little uncertain of what these new affections meant. Just the sight of this man’s face was enough to stir him up, not to mention his body and his scent and- 

“Yes,” Wakatoshi choked out, speechless. Slowly, very slowly, a hand came up and a shaky finger curled around a particularly curly chunk of red hair. As if by some magic, Wakatoshi’s gaze turned gooey from that one hold he had on the redhead and Shouyo melted. Never would he have thought that Wakatoshi would ever look at him like that, and seeing it now felt like a dream. “Bedhead,” the tall man whispered, cheeks turning bright red like his thoughts alone were embarrassing him. 

“Yes?” husked Shouyo, leaning closer, but Wakatoshi covered his mouth and turned his head away, eyes darting to the side as his cheeks and neck flared red. 

“Cute,” he murmured quietly behind his hand, barely audible, but Shouyo heard it. He turned first red and then he giggled. 

“You, too, Wakatoshi,” he whispered proudly, stars in his eyes as he beheld the side profile of the man he loved. He tugged at the apron the taller man wore, wishing he could see it off. The pants too. Everything. Wakatoshi naked and on top of him, holding him, inside him- He turned as red as a lobster, but he still smiled wide up at Wakatoshi lest the man notice. “Were you making breakfast?”

“Ah...” Wakatoshi uttered like he’d been found out, and he glanced at the stove beside them. “Just... pancakes... because you’ve had a hard time...”

Olive eyes went wide when two small arms wrapped themselves around his waist and brown eyes peered up at him from the flat plane of his chest. 

“You’re wonderful, Wakatoshi,” Shouyo whispered. “You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to,” the brunet responded easily, even as he turned red again, the easiest words he’d spoken so far. Shouyo smiled big and bright, and Wakatoshi had to look away lest he be blinded. 

“Go sit,” he told his Omega, not daring another look or risking another touch that might make him loose all rationality and actually touch the other. Shouyo released him, but he didn’t move far away. Instead, he pulled himself up on the kitchen counter beside the stove and hummed softly as Wakatoshi nervously turned back and made his pancakes under the watchful eyes of the love of his life. 

He couldn’t fully explain it. Just a few days ago, he’d thought he could never see Shouyo that way. He’d been thinking that friends was all they would ever be, if that, and yet he’d been falling so hard for the tiny pipsqueak all along. Had it started in high school? Somehow he’d always been able to pick Shouyo out, even across a huge field, even in a crowd. Shouyo had burrowed his way under Wakatoshi’s defenses and he couldn’t even say he was angry about it, then or now. Shouyo had felt natural to him, and being beside him had been easier than anyone else. He’d never imagined he’d be so damn attracted to a tiny, red headed, wild _boy_ , but Shouyo was... special. Shouyo was his. There was something about him that made Wakatoshi want to be irrational, to fall in love. When he’d been pressed up against the Omega’s hot body, when he’d been inside that tiny miracle of a human being, he’d never felt so whole. He’d finally found his other half, and who would have thought it’d be someone as adorable as Shouyo. 

Wakatoshi pressed his lips together and forced his eyes back to his pancakes. He wanted to just kiss Shouyo breathless for how adorable he was, now and always. Devastatingly wonderful in ways that Wakatoshi couldn’t even describe. Yes, he’d like to kiss him, even just once, but he stood his ground because above all, Wakatoshi was still a nervous wreck around this tiny human and everything was so _new_ , and god, what if he ruined it by doing something unwanted and too impulsive...

“Toshi,” whispered Shouyo, and olive eyes snapped to him. He hadn’t missed the man’s staring or the thoughts plastered right on his face in the way his lips trembled, eyes glistening and cheeks rosing. He wished the other wouldn’t hold back, because Shouyo was fairly certain he wasn’t just this hot from the stove beside him. Again, “Toshi~”

The man huffed and turned wary eyes to the redhead. “Where’d you come up with that nickname?” He tried to frown like he hated it, but Shouyo knew better. He walked his fingers slowly up Wakatoshi’s arm, up his shoulders. Wakatoshi watched the progression with wary eyes, but he was already too weak to pull away. Just a single touch was setting his desire aflame. Olive eyes jerked back up to brown.

Shouyo leaned in until he could smell the other man, and then he husked, “You don’t have to wait for my permission, you know.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the tall man grumbled in a rush of heated air, even as his body and eyes betrayed him, sliding to Shouyo, olive eyes to his face and a hand to cup his knee.

That was all it took; a moment of contact, electricity between them, of thinking maybe just a little would be okay, and suddenly he had two hands pressed to the counter on either side of Shouyo’s hips and he was kissing him recklessly, breathlessly. Hands crept closer, first unsure, but then they grabbed Shouyo up, parting his thighs and pulling him against a solid body, and Shouyo wrapped around the man. 

“You’re a terrible liar,” Shouyo husked, panting hard, alive.

“I’m a terrible person,” Wakatoshi hushed back as his fists clenched into Shouyo’s shirt, trying to hold back so badly as Shouyo’s scent aroused him. 

“Why?!” gasped Shouyo as he pulled away, but the smell of smoke distracted Wakatoshi, and Shouyo never found out why Wakatoshi thought himself to be so terrible. 

“Your pancakes!” he yelped in great dismay as he yanked the hot pan off the burner. Shouyo picked up a spatula and poked at it. 

“It’s not so bad-“

“I’ll make you another-“ Wakatoshi breathed roughly, eyes staring in disbelief at the ruined food. Shouyo pressed a hand to his chest and he waited patiently until olive eyes turned to him. 

“How about we make them together? That’s what I’d like to do,” he added with a genuine smile. He hopped down and wiggled himself between the stove and Wakatoshi’s large, warm body. Arms raised in surprise, the man’s natural habit of not touching kicking in, but slowly they lowered, one on either side of the stove, the small, erratic human against him. Without a word, Wakatoshi let him be. 

Shouyo emptied the pan, buttered it again and dropped in a ladleful of runny dough. Slowly, arms came closer around Shouyo as Wakatoshi helped him mind the pan, a chin slowly coming to rest in messy, red curls. Shouyo shivered, the ultimate happiness. Perhaps it seemed a small gesture to some, but to him and Wakatoshi, it meant the whole world. He cooed happily and snuggled to buff arms. He didn’t notice the way Wakatoshi’s eyes glazed over, the way his body went stiff as he tried to fight so many things he wanted to do right now, pancakes be damned. 

“Don’t you have to go to work soon?” Shouyo asked with wide eyes as he glanced at the clock. He turned and pushed a plate of hot pancakes towards Wakatoshi. “And your lunch-!” he yelped in panic, but large hands swept him up and suddenly Wakatoshi had him on the counter again, kissing him. All it took was just a look, just a word from Shouyo, and Wakatoshi was set ablaze. 

“I don’t want to go,” he husked in a moment of heart-rendering honesty, lips quivering. He sank his forehead to Shouyo’s as he gripped at the loose part of Shouyo’s pants at his hips. He looked so sad that Shouyo almost cried. 

“I don’t want you to go, either, but I’ll be here waiting for you when you come back home, and I’ll think of you.”

“Me too,” Wakatoshi whispered, overwhelmed. “Thinking of you...” he murmured. 

Shouyo’s cheeks went red and his gut stirred. He wanted to reach for this man and hold him close, beg him not to go. Instead, though, he just pressed a soft kiss to a heated cheek.

“Thank you for taking care of me, Wakatoshi. Whatever I can do to be your support, I’ll do it.”

“You’ve already done too much,” Wakatoshi rushed, first pulling back a little, but he let his eyes shut, as he instead nuzzled slowly to Shouyo’s cheek. He inhaled deep, slow, taking his time to memorize the redhead. “Let me... do for you... even just a little bit.”

Small, warms hands pressed to two cheeks, and Shouyo smiled wide at his beloved, “Then, until you come back home, I’ll be good and wait.”

“And rest,” Wakatoshi urged, picking up a forkful of pancake and pressing it to Shouyo’s lips. He giggled as he parted his lips to receive, chewing happily. He wouldn’t say that the batter was a little too salty. They were made with love, and to Shouyo, that made them taste like the best food in the world. 

“And wait for me,” he begged as he pressed his forehead again to Shouyo’s, eyes shutting like he really, really didn’t want to go, like he didn’t want to be holding everything back as best he could. Shouyo pet his cheek and kissed his temple. He would never grow tired of this happiness. 

Never, ever.

Wakatoshi would always make him this happy, whatever he did. 

x

Wakatoshi couldn’t focus on work even if he tried. A computer screen with important data sat lit before him, but he couldn’t make his brain process the information at all. No, his mind was stuck on what he’d left at home. There was still heat in his palms from touching, his lips from kissing, his body from the night before... He scrubbed at his face, feeling too hot in his suit and tie. He pulled off his jacket in his office and loosened his tie. He didn’t think he’d ever gotten this comfortable. 

When his secretary came in to give him more important data, the surprise on her face supported his fears. She watched him cautiously, like all bets were off now, and he wondered how he came across to people. 

“Hey,” he called, because if he was honest, he couldn’t even remember her name. She turned on her heels, eyes wide. “How do you see me?”

She looked at first wildly confused and uncomfortable, but slowly her lips pulled up into a quirky smile, and she tilted her head as she thought about it.

“You’re stiff and very professional, and I doubt you’ve ever talked to anyone about anything you feel. You follow the rules to a T and never sway from the task you’ve been given. You’re too straight forward. I don’t think I’ve ever even seen you smile...”

Wakatoshi was taken aback. Maybe it was a miracle Shouyo had ever even come to like him in the first place. Had he always been the way she’d described him? Had the marriage been Shouyo’s only way... 

“I see you wear a wedding ring but I cannot imagine you being married.”

Olive eyes whipped back up to his secretary and she startled out an apology, but Wakatoshi turned his eyes back down, hand to his mouth as he crouched over his desk. It’s true he really wasn’t until now, not how marriage was for normal people. No, it probably was very much like what this lady was imagining until just last night. It must have been so hard on Shouyo. He should apologize somehow, get on his knees and beg Shouyo to forgive him... 

“Though I’m sure it was more of a marriage for convenience than love...” the woman before him murmured softly as she watched Wakatoshi with a softening gaze. “You are handsome, but I cannot imagine-“

“Shouyo loves me very much!” Wakatoshi barked out before he could even stop himself, sitting up straight again as he faced his secretary. A second later, he flared bright red, and with wide eyes, she watched it all. 

“Oh,” she whispered, going red herself. “You must be very different at home,” she whispered in a lower tone. 

Wakatoshi fell silent again, introspective. “No, not really,” he murmured. 

“That must be hard on your partner, then,” she said quietly, then bowing roughly and taking her exit before her boss combusted or something. 

Wakatoshi eyes turned to the now-shut office door, her words too close to the truth for comfort, but it was high time he faced reality, wasn't it? He had been horrible to Shouyo, to his Omega. To think he’d said he would never touch Shouyo, never even speak to him- 

The rest of the day he sat with those thoughts, about all the ways he’d been horrible, all the ways he’d failed, and yet, the thing he was most sure of was that through it all, Shouyo had adored him, had desired him. He had been so cruel, and yet, Shouyo, who was all that was good in the world, had forgiven and accepted him. 

He didn’t deserve Shouyo, but he would try his absolute best to be a man even a little bit worthy. 

x

Shouyo stared with giant eyes at the flowers that filled their entry way. Somewhere behind that massive bushel of roses stood Wakatoshi, his face as yet unseen so far. 

“What is all this, Toshi?” Shouyo asked and he watched in fascination as the bush before him shuddered. It lowered ever so slowly, a mess of brown hair and then averted eyes appearing before him, above the flowers. Wakatoshi looked so broken, so sad and guilty that Shouyo’s heart tugged this way and that, the smile falling off his face. “Toshi, what’s wrong?!” he begged. 

Eyes darted to him for a moment, and then away again in shame. 

“I’m so very sorry, Shouyo,” Wakatoshi whispered in a tiny voice, and Shouyo’s heart stuffed into his throat. 

“Why?” the redhead choked out, eyes brimming with tears. 

“I’ve been so horrible to you.”

A sharp exhale, tears spilling. Olive eyes darted to brown and he gasped. “I’ve done it again!”

Shouyo covered his face and suddenly he was bent forward in half, laughing so hard everything ached. Tears of relief and happiness fell from his eyes and he sank to the floor as a bushel of roses fell, and Wakatoshi rushed forward, thinking something was very wrong. Shouyo grabbed his hands, his arms, pulled him closer until he could feel his Alpha, smell him. “You idiot,” he giggled. Wakatoshi’s eyes went wide, hands unsure, but slowly his face relaxed and he brought his hands to Shouyo’s back, holding him now, too. 

“You have nothing to apologize for-“

“But I did such awful things! As an Alpha, as your husband, as a person in general! I’ve been made aware of my glaring flaws and I’m so sorry-!”

Shouyo laughed again, smiling wide. “It was hard, that’s true,” he whispered, “but what I was trying to say was that you’ve already made up for everything now. There’s nothing to apologize for because there’s nothing left to forgive. You... you’re mine, and that’s more than enough for me, silly.”

“Shouyo,” Wakatoshi burst out, tears flowing, still as stiff as ever but so extremely endearing. “I’m so sorry, Shouyo. You are too wonderful, and I’ve been such a horrible person. I’m sorry, so very sorry-“

“Toshi,” Shouyo hushed out as he pulled the man’s face up and forward. “If you really feel the need to make it up to me, just kiss me whenever you feel like it, and always hold me tight. Touch me and hold my hand and let me sit beside you. Tell me you love me once in a while, and never, ever leave my side again.” Tears came now in a rush and Shouyo begged, broken, “Don’t leave me alone ever again, my Alpha.”

“Never!” Wakatoshi swore with a passionate earnestness. “I’ll never... leave you again. My Omega, my sweet Omega. You are... everything, and I’m so sorry for... before. For everything.”

“Just... don’t let me go...” Shouyo husked as he pressed his forehead to Wakatoshi’s, as he ached for this man, for the love of his life. The fight had been so worth it; he’d do it all again in a heartbeat if it meant this was his outcome. 

_Thank you, Natsu and Mama, for giving this man to me._

_It took a lot of heartache, but he’s finally mine._

“Kiss me, Toshi-“ he whispered breathlessly, lips meeting his before he’d even finished. His heart thrilled and he thought that this was truly it: the stuff dreams were made of. Finally, he could breathe, he could love. Warmth sank against him and they toppled over backwards. Wakatoshi lay over him and it was all Shouyo could do not to combust on the spot. He clung to his Alpha, inhaled his scent. It was nothing like it had been last night, but still, he smelled so heavenly. 

Rough hips rocked hard against the wooden floor beneath them and suddenly Wakatoshi shocked back, as if realizing he’d been carried away. He looked down at Shouyo with wide eyes like he’d done something wrong again, but Shouyo was shaking his head, trying to pull his man back. 

“Shouyo, I need to go cool my head-“ Wakatoshi choked out as he pulled out of the redhead’s arms. 

Why, Shouyo wanted to ask, left aching on the floor, but he knew this was all so sudden for Wakatoshi, and he was trying his best to adjust. Shouyo touched his shaky smile with trembling fingers as he lay on the floor, desire and heat swirling inside his tiny body just from that one kiss. If only Wakatoshi knew how stirred up he got. If only he knew how much he loved the big buffoon of a man. Footsteps retreated into the bathroom at the back of the apartment and Shouyo slowly pulled himself up, pulled the flowers to his chest and his nose. He was sure, somehow, that these flowers weren’t even enough to show the man’s love for him. He gathered them all and set to finding vases and cups and anything he could to hold them, diligently cutting the stalks and filling the containers with water and feed. By the time, Wakatoshi came back, half the roses were set on the dining room table and kitchen counter, finished. 

Wakatoshi came to halt by the edge of the kitchen counters, scratching at his chin as he saw how much he’d really bought. “I can help,” he offered timidly, but Shouyo just smiled. Olive eyes watched him quietly as he worked on the rest of the flowers, and when he was finally done, he turned to Wakatoshi, apron in his hands as he dried them. 

“Listen, Toshi,” he said in a clear voice. “I don’t ever want to hear you apologize to me again for the past. If you want to buy me flowers, just get them because you want to, and for heaven’s sake, stick to a dozen or even just one!” He laughed. His eyes softened and he smiled at the man before him, the light of his life. 

“You don’t have to do anything to earn my love. I think the past half year should have proven that to you. So please, just do what you want to do, Wakatoshi. I’m all yours.

“Don’t hold back when you don’t want to,” he whispered with a big smile, hands slipping loose down to his side, and he realized Wakatoshi was too far away for his liking. But he stayed where he was, surrounded by flowers and the smell of the dinner he’d made with love, and he waited. He waited to see if Wakatoshi would come and take what he wanted. Big, olive eyes stared at Shouyo, silent until now. 

“I don’t deserve you,” Wakatoshi said as his eyes dropped to the floor, as he bowed his great, tall head to Shouyo. “I never did, and I’ve never felt that way before. And so, I feel like I need to do something, anything-“ Hands clenched to his chest, and Shouyo wanted to speak but he had to let Wakatoshi talk it out. 

“But that is thinking far too little of you.” Slowly a head of brown hair raised and Wakatoshi’s expression was so soft, so gentle. His smile was warm and genuine, and Shouyo’s knees buckled as he grabbed desperately at the counter beside him. He gasped. Warm hands scooped him up and held him aloft, brown and olive eyes level. Shouyo grabbed at his Alpha’s handsome face, but still he was quiet. 

“I love you, Shouyo. And I will try my best... to show you... Please forgive my awkwardness until I learn-“

“It’s okay, Toshi,” Shouyo rushed, pulling himself closer. This man was always there to catch him, would always be here from now on. “I love you so much.”

“I know,” choked out a broken voice, and suddenly Wakatoshi was sobbing as he held Shouyo tight to his chest, bawling his eyes out so hard that he had to sink to the floor and lean against the kitchen cabinets to support himself. It was so unlike the man Shouyo had grown used to, but this more than anything showed that his feelings were true. Shouyo stroked his back and hummed softly. 

“I love you,” he reminded Wakatoshi every once in a while. Finally, the man stilled and Shouyo waited quietly. 

“Can you... close your eyes for a minute?” Wakatoshi asked in a shaky voice, and Shouyo nodded, his voice not working right. 

He felt Wakatoshi slide away from him as he kept his lids lowered, felt eyes on him even though he couldn’t see them. 

“I just didn’t want you to see my face right now,” Wakatoshi huffed as he scrubbed at his wet face. Shouyo’s heartbeat kicked up a notch. 

“Toshi,” he called. “I want to see.”

“No, you can’t-!” the other begged, but when he looked up, Shouyo was already looking at him. If he’d thought he’d be upset or embarrassed, none of that registered when he saw the look on Shouyo’s face. Pure, unadulterated love, pride. It was warm and comfortable and everything Wakatoshi hadn’t known he’d needed. Without thinking twice, not needing to, he sank forward, eyes shifting to Shouyo’s lips until his own were pressed against them. He inhaled sharply and then he grabbed Shouyo up and pulled the tiny man to him, deepening the kiss. God, he’d been such a fool, denying himself this. When he kissed Shouyo, he knew absolutely that they’d always been meant to be together, to belong to each other. He’d pushed off the inevitable for what, his pride? Just because he couldn’t wrap his head around something as silly as their gender? Shouyo had been a part of him from the moment he’d laid eyes on the man. This tiny, crazy, wired guy was absolutely his. 

Shouyo sighed harshly at some point, and Wakatoshi could smell the heat rolling off his skin, making him dizzy with desire. He angled his head and pressed deeper, tongue slipping out because god, he wanted to taste this heavenly creature. It was like warm honey and milk, sweet and comforting and enough to make Wakatoshi full himself. Shouyo trembled in his arms and moaned against his lips, and Wakatoshi knew he couldn’t pull back by his own strength. He could no longer stop himself now. His hands slipped down to slim hips, around and over plump little cheeks, pulling Shouyo closer. He pressed against the redhead, intent on letting the man know that he _longed_ for him, and Shouyo gasped, tiny hands clutching into Wakatoshi’s button up shirt. Something hot and hard pressed to Wakatoshi’s stomach too, and he inhaled sharply, everything in him coming to life. 

“Shouyo-“ he gasped, and the other pulled away roughly from Wakatoshi, cheeks and lips red and so, so pretty. The Alpha reached for his Omega, but Shouyo smartly intercepted, knowing that Wakatoshi couldn’t stop himself even if he wanted to. He smiled, content for now in the knowledge that Wakatoshi truly desired him. 

“I made you dinner, Toshi,” he whispered as he nuzzled to the man’s cheek, to his warmth. Big arms closed around him and Wakatoshi hugged him tightly. 

“I truly don’t deserve you, Shouyo,” he rasped softly, “But I will forever be thankful for you.”

Shouyo nodded as he smiled wide into Wakatoshi’s neck. 

“Please continue... to watch over me, Shouyo,” he whispered. “You’re the only one I trust to keep me in line and lead me...”

“You’re doing just fine,” husked Shouyo as he pulled back with a smile. Wakatoshi blinked, and slowly his lips turned up into a genuine smile. 

“You’re wonderful, Shouyo,” he chuckled, rubbing at a red cheek, and Shouyo beamed wide.

“And you will sit your own wonderful self down at our table and eat this food I’ve lovingly prepared for you,” Shouyo grinned. 

Slowly, they rose again and Wakatoshi wandered slowly to their dining room table, stopping to stare at the flowers everywhere. He murmured quietly to himself, shaking his head as he sat down. Shouyo set his steaming plate before him and eyes went big and shiny. 

A simple meal of rice and eggs, a plate of omurice, with a simple message written out in ketchup on top. “Thank you,” with a little heart. Wakatoshi looked up at Shouyo, speechless. 

“For everything,” whispered Shouyo with a big smile, eyes shut. There was a soft thump and when he looked again, Wakatoshi looked defeated, elbow to the table and head in his hand. 

“You’ve won,” he whispered, pride in his tone even as he shook his head in his palm. “You’ve won completely.”

With awe and too much wonder, he devoured not one, but three plates, until Shouyo was laughing and telling him he didn’t need to eat anymore. 

“I missed you today,” Wakatoshi whispered as Shouyo collected his last empty plate, chopsticks loose in his fisted hand. He was staring at the table, face sad again. “I didn’t think I could miss someone so badly.”

Shouyo reached out his free hand and stroked it over Wakatoshi’s soft hair. 

“Would you like to watch a movie tonight,” he whispered with a smile. He didn’t need to tell Wakatoshi he’d missed him, too; that wasn’t the reason why he’d said it. No, slowly Wakatoshi was sharing his feelings with Shouyo, without need for reciprocation, but just to tell the other how he felt. It was beautiful, perfect, and Shouyo wouldn’t mar it with his own foolish words. Instead, he would just love Wakatoshi as he did, give him everything he could. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the man’s cheek. 

“Yes,” husked Wakatoshi. “This time, you can pick.”

And Shouyo laughed, proud of this man before him. He had changed, and yet he was still so achingly, wonderfully, Ushijima Wakatoshi. 

And he, Ushijima Shouyo, fell every day more in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m glad you all enjoyed the last chapter 😘😏


	9. Honesty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They’re still big dumbs, okay 😂😂

Wakatoshi was, in a word, cautious. Shouyo didn’t know how else to describe it. Slowly, everyday, he seemed to grow more affectionate towards Shouyo, and the redhead ate it up, but still he felt... dissatisfied. He had hoped for a huge wave of passion and all he was getting were teasing bites of intimacy. And Shouyo, he was hungry for a big meal. 

He stood in the hallway, watching Wakatoshi stand in his doorframe, watching the other in return. Shouyo smiled, even as his heart was aching. 

“Good night, darling,” the redhead called sweetly, and he watched as Wakatoshi slowly nodded. This scene had repeated itself so many times now, and it seemed it would keep repeating. 

“Good night,” Wakatoshi said, and Shouyo watched as he stepped inside his room alone and shut the door. He stared at the white door before him, hoping against hope that it would open again, but he could hear Wakatoshi getting into bed, probably with his laptop. Shouyo quietly made his way to his own room. 

The next night, nothing changed. “Good night, Toshi, sleep well.”

“Yes... Good night.” Wakatoshi paused for a split second, but then he turned again, door closing behind him. Shouyo stalked to his room. The pit of despair was growing. 

“Good night, Toshi. I hope you sleep well.”

“Good night... You, too.”

The same. 

And just when Shouyo started giving up hope, there was a slight change, which was something significant when it was concerning Wakatoshi. 

Shouyo bid the man goodnight one night, three weeks after Shouyo’s last heat, and Wakatoshi paused, silent as he stood before his door, not even opened yet. Slowly, he turned to look at his husband, and Shouyo blinked at him with wide eyes; not daring to hope for anything. 

Olive eyes watched him, trying to read him, but as fruitless as that venture was for Shouyo, it seemed equally so for Wakatoshi. He scrunched his eyebrows in the end and murmured, “Good night, Shouyo.”

When it happened again the next night, Shouyo figured it had to be a sign. As Wakatoshi slowly bid his goodbye, Shouyo called his name again, taking a rushed step closer. Wakatoshi turned, eyes blinking and expression confused. 

“Yes...?” He sounded so unsure of what to make of any of this. 

“Well... I just thought... since we’re not just pretending to be married anymore, maybe we could-“

Shouyo’s words fell away as Wakatoshi went stiff and face unsure. He pressed his lips together and stared at his husband, so tall and handsome and buff... He nibbled at his lip after five seconds, chewing on it after fifteen, and still Wakatoshi didn’t answer. 

“I don’t understand,” he finally said, and Shouyo turned to look at his own bedroom with the saddest, loneliest expression he could muster. He heard feet shuffle, and with hopeful eyes he looked up, but by then Wakatoshi was already closing his door, thinking, probably, that Shouyo had been done. 

“Are you serious?” Shouyo whispered under his breath with wide eyes. He was practically oozing the desire to finally sleep with Wakatoshi. It didn’t even have to be in a sexual way, but god, they’d finally figured out their feelings, and yet Shouyo still slept alone. Dejected, he walked back to his own room, to sleep, again, alone.

By the third night of hopeless clue giving by a very indignant Shouyo, he was growing exasperated and very frustrated. At this point, his heat would be upon them again and Wakatoshi would probably just lose his head and they’d be back to square one, wouldn’t they? Wakatoshi had said next time it would be different, that he’d like to make love intentionally, but they didn’t have all the time in the world. If Wakatoshi wanted to be intentional, his window was closing soon. 

Shouyo watched and heard the door to the man’s room shut and he stared at it for a long time, trying to figure out if this was a smart move. Should he knock or just barge in? Should he beg Wakatoshi or demand? Even now, he didn’t know how to approach Wakatoshi to get what he wanted. The man was unpredictable, not that he would be angry or reject Shouyo, but simply that Wakatoshi seemed like he might implode if Shouyo tried to rush him. The redhead warred between saying it straight out and embarrassing them both or being smooth and suave, which so far wasn’t working. 

Shouyo had really been trying. Hands creeping and touching more intimate parts, longer kisses and tugging at clothes. Shouyo had even walked out naked one night after his shower and Wakatoshi had just blinked at him and asked him if he’d be sleeping like that. 

Suddenly, something dawned on Shouyo, and it froze him to the core. Maybe Wakatoshi loved him, but was not attracted to him. Because, after all, Wakatoshi had made it very clear before that he would never have sex with another man, even if it was his husband. He had made it very clear that he was not attracted to men. And yet Shouyo had assumed himself different these past few weeks. 

Well, maybe he was just crazy, then. He stood rooted where he was, frozen. His mind raced. His normal reaction was to just leave it be and walk away unhurt, but his heat was coming in just a few days and if Wakatoshi was only going to have sex with him to satisfy the basic urge of their second gender, then... Shouyo wanted nothing to do with that. 

No, absolutely not. He’d rather suffer unsatisfied, thank you, than to have sex with someone he loved who found the idea of his body... repulsive. He clenched his fists and marched himself to Wakatoshi’s door, and like the fool he was, he knocked on that door and waited. 

“Shouyo?” called Wakatoshi’s voice from inside, confused and distracted. Was he working? God, what an everlasting fool. Everything fed Shouyo’s fears. 

“Wakatoshi, listen-“ He was going to rattle off the fact that his heat was coming, that they needed to get a move on, but he stopped. He didn’t want to talk to the man through the door. He wrestled again with just barging in or asking politely when the door burst open and Wakatoshi stood there, flushed, breathing a little heavy. His hand gripped hard at the door handle, his other fist clenched against the door jam, but he didn’t look angry. No, he looked... like he was trying so hard to hold back. When Shouyo looked down, he realized with a start that maybe he’d been very wrong. Unless...

“Were you watching porn?!” Shouyo yelped aloud, staring at Wakatoshi erect in his lounge pants. They looked like they’d been hurriedly pulled on. 

“No!” yelled Wakatoshi back. “No!” Softer that time. His clenched hand gripped over his mouth and nose and he inhaled sharply. Shouyo’s eyes snapped wider as he finally noticed that the big man before him was _trembling_. Big, brown eyes slowly slipped up to Wakatoshi’s face and his jaw dropped open. 

“How long, Toshi?” he shivered. _How long have you been holding yourself back?_

“Shouyo, I really can’t- do this right now, unless-“ But he stopped there, shaking again. 

“Unless, what?” Shouyo asked for him. He slowly took a step closer, and Wakatoshi verbally quivered. “Are you hard... because of me, Toshi?” he asked in quiet disbelief, staring up at his husband, a man who hadn’t even touched him tonight and yet- 

“What do you think?” mumbled Wakatoshi into his palm, eyes averted now, face so red. 

Shouyo inhaled sharply and he thought _Oh, shit_ as he smelled the man leaking pheromones into the air around them. Oh, he smelled _good_! Shouyo’s vision went a little blurry and he took another step closer. Heat rushed through him, and god, if he didn’t say it now, this man before him would eternally continue being a fool. 

“Toshi... I love you and... I want you...” His tiny hands crumpled into his shirt and he vibrated in his pants. Leaky eyes looked up at Wakatoshi. “Tell me... you don’t want me now if-“

“NoIwantyou,” rushed Wakatoshi in a big exhale, eyes wide and hands dropping to his sides as if he was completely giving up fighting it any longer. Shouyo nearly melted to the floor, but he reached out and grabbed at Wakatoshi’s shirt, fist twisting into fabric just to hold himself up and make the man _feel it_ too. Silence filled the space between them as molten eyes watched each other, too many emotions between them to verbalize.

Wakatoshi took a sharp inhale and hushed out, “Didn’t I say that I wanted to... do this right? ...I just wasn’t sure what that was...”

Shouyo exhaled harshly, stuck between wanting to laugh and to pull his hair out. He’d fallen in love with such a big, big dummy, and yet he couldn’t be fonder of this idiot. 

“Right is this, Toshi,” he urged, tugging at Wakatoshi’s shirt again. He loved the way the Alpha’s eyes went wide and his cheeks a little pink. “Right is you with me. Tonight. Every night.” 

Indignant eyes flashed up and Shouyo gnawed at his swollen lip. The more he thought about it, the angrier he got, and it would be comical if it wasn’t for the heat rolling in his gut. He felt so angry for Wakatoshi’s silence, when all this time they could have been _together_! “If you wanted it, why didn’t you just take it? Or say something! You idiot! You’re an awful-!”

“Because I’m an awful Alpha!” Wakatoshi groaned, hands to his face, afraid to look at Shouyo. “I just... didn’t want to be so awful this time around...”

“What’s awful is that you held back when I’ve been wanting you-!” Shouyo moved closer in a flash, and he breathed out in a low voice, “I’ve been lonely, Wakatoshi.”

That was all it took. Big, beefy arms rushed around his tiny frame and he was swept into the room and to the bed, his heart flying out of his rib cage, too overwhelmed to make sense of what he was even feeling. He wanted to laugh, he wanted to cry. The door slammed shut behind them, but Wakatoshi was already on top of Shouyo. 

“I thought you didn’t want me-“ warbled Shouyo as he stared up at Wakatoshi, hands clutched into his white shirt, wanting to be closer, and yet so, so scared. “I thought you hated that I was a guy, that you weren’t-“

Wakatoshi smacked his own face so hard and loud that it startled a yelp out of Shouyo, made his words disappear from his head as his head went blank. “Fuck!” the tall man yelled, startlingly loud, Shouyo’s heart racing. When he looked at Shouyo again, the smaller felt like he couldn’t breathe at all, in a really good way. Wakatoshi’s eyes were _heated_ , and Shouyo _wanted him_. He thought he might giggle from the giddiness in his chest, so in love that nothing else mattered but Wakatoshi.

“I’ve thought of nothing but you these past three weeks, and your body... Every night, I get hard thinking about it, Shouyo.” Wakatoshi was red again, breathing hard. He must be aching in his pants, but Shouyo was frozen, eyes wide and mouth agape. “Before I ever met you, I thought I would have thrown up if any guy came on to me for sex and yet, when I think about you and your body, and your cock-“ So straightforward as always, almost cuttingly so, but Shouyo wasn’t hurt by his words this time. No, they set him on fire. He clung to the man’s shirt and tugged him closer, his strength waning. He whimpered needily.

“The thought of my heat coming and that you would have sex with me even when you hated the thought of-“ Shouyo’s voice broke on a high sound and Wakatoshi cursed angrily again. 

“Fuck, that’s not what I wanted-“

Shouyo tossed his head back, tears streaming down his face, and he _laughed_. It was so typical, he should have seen it coming miles away, but he’d been so blinded by his own fears. Wakatoshi still towered over him, shivering, but Shouyo was so relieved to know that this man _wanted_ him that he couldn’t stop laughing at the ridiculous situation. 

With a snap, he sobered up, brown eyes jerking to Wakatoshi. “You should have told me right from the start,” he scolded, Wakatoshi bowing his head meekly. Shouyo stared at the top of the man’s head, something he never thought he’d see. “I’ve been waiting and waiting for you...”

“I’m so sorry. I’ve let you down again-“

Shouyo tugged Wakatoshi to him, too impatient for all of that. “Never mind,” he hushed. Wakatoshi’s body sank down against his and Shouyo felt _alive_.

“Toshi, I don’t want to have separate rooms any more, or separate beds.” The honest truth came out now that Shouyo could feel how hot and hard Wakatoshi really was. He’d been thinking of Shouyo’s body, of his... cock, he’d said? Shouyo burned with lust and desire. “I don’t want us to have anything that’s separate anymore.”

“Nothing?” husked Wakatoshi, and Shouyo reiterated, “Nothing.”

“And you promised me that you would intentionally fu-“ 

Wakatoshi’s whole face went bright red and the only thing he could think to do to make those words stop was to kiss Shouyo, because if Shouyo said it, there would be no stopping him. Well, it was already too late, wasn’t it? Wakatoshi ground himself against the mattress as he parted Shouyo’s legs to slide between them. Shouyo tasted so sweet, he always had. More than anything else ever had, this tiny redhead made Wakatoshi feel so alive. If he was honest, he’d been longing for Shouyo for much longer than he’d admit; he’d been craving this male body, hard and soft, small and slim. Touching it, kissing it, licking him... Wakatoshi pushed his face into Shouyo’s neck and groaned loud as he rolled his hips again. 

“Shouyo, Shouyo,” the tall man husked as he began licking and nibbling at Shouyo’s sweet skin. He smelled like his bath, intoxicating and so good. “God, I _want you_.” 

There was a dangerous edge to those words, and if this was any other Alpha, Shouyo would have been very afraid. But this was Wakatoshi, the man he loved, a man who wanted him. Shouyo, the Omega, the lover, responded. 

“Fuck!” yelled Wakatoshi as he inhaled just as Shouyo exploded in pheromones, startling back, eyes blowing wide. This was arousal between an Alpha and Omega at its highest peak, and Shouyo wasn’t even in heat. Wakatoshi froze, unsure whether he should breathe again.

A small, calm hand combed into his hair, and Shouyo murmured, “It’s perfectly okay, darling~ I’m yours, after all. 

“I want your passion, Toshi.”

“Yes,” the tall man gulped as he inhaled deeply, as he let Shouyo’s scent sink into every part of his being and overtake him, rewrite him. “Shouyo, I love you so much-“

Wet, needy lips found each other, mouths opened wide to allow space for tongues and inhaling each other deeply. Shouyo’s hands slipped down Wakatoshi’s back, yanking at the man’s shirt. The brunet helped him sit up, and together they whisked off the offending clothing. Skin pressed to skin as they fell back again and Shouyo was truly alive. He pressed his hands now to a strong, bare back, mesmerized as he felt Wakatoshi’s back muscles move under hot skin. This was the man he loved, and he really had scored the jackpot. Wakatoshi was a wonderful human being who was built like a Greek god. Tongues entwined together like they had to pull every part of each other as close as they could. Shouyo was so alive. 

“Toshi, Toshi, you’re so hot- Fuck!”

“I could say the same to you,” murmured the other in an exhale. Shouyo felt something rush to life inside, a happiness he couldn’t describe as his gut swirled with excitement. 

“You’re such a fool,” hushed Shouyo with tears in his eyes, knowing how truly lucky he was to have this man’s love. But he was so, so happy. He’d been blessed, and so he would do what he could, but for now, they just needed to be connected. 

“Pants!” panted Shouyo, a thumb hooking into his shorts to pull them down, grinding up against Wakatoshi’s hard belly to get his point across. “Off!” he barked.

Two sets of pants flew off the bed together, underwear mixed in and now there was nothing stopping them. Wakatoshi reached a big hand to the side, grabbing up his sheets and yanking them over his head, shuffling down as he held Shouyo’s legs open. He was panting hard, too excited. 

“What-?!” yelped Shouyo as he felt hot breath over his quivering, little cock. He grabbed into soft, brownish hair. He knew absolutely that he was a mess between his legs, even though he wasn’t in his heat yet. It didn’t matter; this was Wakatoshi. That was all it took.

“Fuck,” grunted Wakatoshi, his nose currently probably clogging with Shouyo’s natural scent, and fingers ran up Shouyo’s legs and then back down again. He kissed at trembling thighs, biting until Shouyo begged him to pay attention to what was throbbing against his belly. 

Wakatoshi sank down again, hauling Shouyo up a little to bite his ass cheeks, like he planned to eat the Omega up. Shouyo slapped a hand over his mouth but the filthy moan was already in the air. He oozed more slick, and this time Wakatoshi grunted in response. 

“If you keep... doing that... I won’t be able to... keep my sanity-“

Shouyo hiccuped out a giggle, too ecstatic to even speak. “Please,” he begged when he found his voice, one hand still gripped into Wakatoshi’s hair. 

The moment Wakatoshi’s tongue connected, it was like Shouyo had taken a shot of pure adrenaline. His heartbeat shot through the roof and he began wriggling in Wakatoshi’s grasp, not to get away, but to get closer. Thick arms gripped around two slim thighs and Wakatoshi locked Shouyo in place, his face pressed into Shouyo’s privates. He’d found the treasure at the end of the rainbow and he wasn’t ever planning on letting go.

If Shouyo’s kisses were sweet, his slick was something even more so. Wakatoshi couldn’t get enough; he lapped it up, swirled his tongue around Shouyo’s entrance, sucked at it to get more. Shouyo was falling apart above him, hands digging and pulling at brown hair, and the sounds he was making made everything all the sweeter. Wakatoshi thought he could probably come just like this, face buried in his husband’s ass, and that voice in his ears. 

His husband, he thought. Shouyo, more than being his Omega, his soulmate, or anything that felt somehow necessary or undefinable, was a man who had married him. Wakatoshi had been angry at first, but when he thought about it now, that Shouyo had been so sure of this that he’d been willing to trick the man himself and everyone around... Wakatoshi felt a certain thrill from it. And so, when Wakatoshi had finally realized his love for Shouyo, the man was already his. It was so easy that Wakatoshi hated himself for not seeing this earlier. Holding back had been hard; leaving the house for a week every month... It sounded selfish, but it had been hard on Shouyo too. And to think if he had just stayed, just been with his Omega, his _husband_ all this time...

Wakatoshi licked at his lips to catch a dribble of escaping slick, two fingers reaching between his tongue and Shouyo. He husked the man’s name as he pressed them to a cute, tight little ass, moaning as they slid into wet heat. More slick squished around his fingers and out as Shouyo knocked his head back and moaned into the small space of Wakatoshi’s room. The bedroom that had exclusively smelled like him was now filled with Shouyo’s pheromones. And what a delicious scent it was. It mixed with Wakatoshi’s and the combination was so familiar and yet so foreign, so arousing. Wakatoshi’s nose was pressed to Shouyo’s taint and even here he smelled so good, sweeter with every lick and thrust of his fingers. 

“Toshi, I can’t-“ wailed Shouyo at one point, body shaking with sobs now as he was overwhelmed. Wakatoshi looked up and saw the way Shouyo’s cute cock bobbed and throbbed red against his belly, tendrils of pre-cum dripping down to his pale skin. By the way Shouyo’s ass was gripping around Wakatoshi’s fingers, he knew the redhead was on the edge of an orgasm, and he wanted to feel it. He wanted to taste it. He hummed deep and low against Shouyo’s ass, lips suckling to his puckered skin and his own fingers inside, and with a jerk and a gorgeous cry, Shouyo released all over his stomach. Slick gushed out of his ass, soaking Wakatoshi’s hand and lips. 

“Fuck, Shouyo,” he growled, pupils blown wide with lust, his own cock aching against the bedsheets. He sat up with a rush, lips red, soaked fingers still inside Shouyo, and gorgeous brown eyes stared up at the man, towering over him like the god he was. Shouyo was panting hard, trying to calm down after his mind-blowing orgasm. 

“I can’t wait,” huffed the tall man with red cheeks and a steely expression. Shouyo stared up at him, thinking this was not the man he’d known even just a few minutes ago, chin wet with his slick and lips swollen, lust hot in his dilated pupils, but this was so very much the man Shouyo loved. He loved him, he loved him, he loved him so incredibly much that it swelled his heart to nearly uncontainable. Wakatoshi sat between his limp legs, cock erect and so big, pretty for the monster it was, and the rest of Wakatoshi was just as intimidating. He was big and buff and so very tall. He always towered over Shouyo, and now his shadow covered all of the small man. If this wasn’t consensual, Shouyo would be out of his mind with fear, but it was, and his body needed Wakatoshi. He ached looking up at the man, a swell of silent pride that was only visible in the gooey look in his eyes.

A second after Wakatoshi had spoken, he tugged his fingers out, another hand pushing his cock down, and he was lining himself up with the hole his fingers had just unplugged. Without even a moment’s pause, Wakatoshi not willing to let even a drop of Shouyo’s slick fall unused to the bed, he pushed inside his pride and joy. 

“My god, you’re fucking tight!” he groaned out as he grabbed roughly at Shouyo’s slim hips, as Shouyo tossed his head back and howled. Wakatoshi was so big, but all of the prep made the slide in easy. He was stretched and pushed open, but Shouyo felt only divine pleasure. His eyelids fluttered and eyes rolled up as he choked on a sound, too happy to even moan. Thick fingers dig into his skin and this was all he’d ever really wanted. Further in came Wakatoshi; he seemed endless as he kept pushing inside, but finally their hips knocked together and Wakatoshi released a deep breath of air. Shouyo’s lashes fluttered as his eyes opened. Small hands skittered up over beefy forearms, and Shouyo shivered as he looked up at the face of the man he loved. 

Sharp, olive eyes stared down at Shouyo, gaze unbreaking. It stole the small male’s breath away. More than words could ever hope to convey, the way Wakatoshi looked at Shouyo now said it all. Wakatoshi loved him, adored him, _wanted_ him. Shouyo choked on a glob of spit as his eyes watered rapidly. 

“Toshi, I love you,” he begged on a sob, and Wakatoshi’s eyes went wide as he watched Shouyo. He looked down at Shouyo’s small hands on his arms, over Shouyo’s small body. Slowly, he released Shouyo’s hips and sank down to his elbows over the smaller male. His eyes were filled again with an unreadable expression, but it was soft and filled with wonder. Big hands caressed up Shouyo’s sides and cupped the back of his neck, one big hand holding him in place. 

“Shouyo,” breathed Wakatoshi in reverence. His eyes roamed over every spot of Shouyo, and the redhead realized with a start what the man was thinking. They were both rational now, neither clouded by that cloying desire that came with Shouyo’s heat or Wakatoshi’s rut. They were in control, and they could take their time and memorize every detail, feel every feeling. Wakatoshi slowly licked at his lips as he stared at Shouyo, and the smaller male shivered with delight. Wakatoshi was drinking him in; he loved Shouyo so much that he wanted to see every part of him and etch it into his memory. Shouyo’s hands slid up thick arms, so inexplicably happy. 

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he whispered, quiet but needy. 

Olive eyes jerked up to meet his for a moment, quickly sliding back down as a big hand followed the line of Shouyo’s waist. “You are so... small...” hushed the big man, eyes blinking slowly. “I never thought... I would like it so much...” he murmured under his breath as his hand travelled up Shouyo’s legs, pulling it forward to stare at his little feet and tiny toes. Shouyo crooned at the way it shifted Wakatoshi inside him, pressing him deeper in. “You are so adorable...” It was almost like he was speaking more to himself, but his voice and words sank down to Shouyo’s ears and it made his skin raise in goosebumps. More, more. 

Wakatoshi dropped Shouyo’s leg back down and the other hiccuped again, another shift, and suddenly a warm hand was pressing to his belly, skirting around his leaking cock. “You are so warm and tight inside, and I feel so alive for the first time in my life, being with you like this... Even your dick is so small and adorable...” Wakatoshi hummed in quiet amusement. The thing that Shouyo had been most worried about, perhaps, was that Wakatoshi would see him erect, and he would be turned off. Shouyo had no way of knowing what had been in Wakatoshi’s head; how had he been imagining Shouyo before? But now, as warm, olive eyes stared lovingly down at his trembling member, he knew that his worries hadn’t been needed. Wakatoshi loved all of him, adored him to pieces. Shouyo crooned up at the man, olive eyes shocking back up to brown. 

“Toshi,” breathed Shouyo in his own reverence. He couldn’t believe this man was _his_. “I have dreamed so long about this, and I thought it was beyond impossible for you to-“ His voice choked off there, wet eyes staring up at Wakatoshi, begging him to understand. Sadness crossed over handsome features and Shouyo’s heart broke. 

“I’m so sorry, Shouyo.” A big body sank down to Shouyo’s and warm arms wrapped him up into a hug. He was so warm and heavy that Shouyo couldn’t breathe properly, but that was totally okay. Wakatoshi’s husky voice was right in Shouyo’s ear when he spoke again. “I don’t know if I can ever make it up to you, for the horrible things I did. All I know is that I love you... so much...”

Shouyo shivered, his own weak arms and tiny hands scrambling for purchase on Wakatoshi’s back, digging into muscle and clinging to sharp shoulder blades. “It’s okay, it’s okay now.” Wakatoshi’s cock throbbed inside him and he just wanted to be made love to already. He clenched his legs and ass and Wakatoshi shuddered to life. “Come on, Alpha,” husked Shouyo into the man’s ear. “Make it up to me.”

Wakatoshi roared to life, pushing himself up to his hands again, one grabbing once more at Shouyo’s waist. He looked so magnificent, and then he started moving his hips and every sane thought fled from Shouyo’s mind. Every part of him came alive, and true to his word, Wakatoshi deliberately made love to his Omega. 

Wakatoshi began to sweat, not from effort as much as the way his heart was pounding from just smelling Shouyo. Their scents leaked heavy into the room and for anyone else, it would have been choking, but it only spurred the two inside on. Wakatoshi couldn’t even begin to describe how it felt inside Shouyo: it was beyond divine. His hips refused to slow. He grunted and pulled Shouyo’s ass off the bed, folding him nearly in two as he sat up to his knees, fucking his Omega into the mattress. Sweet, lilting tones serenaded him, and Wakatoshi didn’t have to presence of mind to think that this would ever stop. Sweat dropped down to Shouyo’s face, bright brown eyes staring up at Wakatoshi, watching him so closely, afraid to miss a single thing. There were tiny little smiles when Wakatoshi grunted, his mouth slipping into a small “o” when Shouyo tightened up. Sometimes his eyelids would flutter or his eyes would unfocus, but most of the time he was completely locked on Shouyo. He felt Shouyo’s hands on him, feeling him up, touching his abs and his shoulders and arms, and every touch made him so glad for how hard he’d worked for this body. Wakatoshi was a giant compared to Shouyo, but under that melty gaze and in Shouyo’s embrace, he felt incredibly small and unworthy. To think that someone as magical as Shouyo would love him didn’t comprehend even as he made love to the small bean. It felt unreal; Wakatoshi was afraid he’d wake up at any moment. He pressed his nose to Shouyo’s neck and clung to him, trying to reassure himself that what he was feeling was too good to be imagined. Shouyo was real. Shouyo was truly calling his name in that sweet, little voice. Shouyo, his Shouyo, his Omega, his _bride_.

“Baby, I swear I’ll protect you forever. You’re mine. No one else can touch you.” Wakatoshi’s thrusts grew harsher, trying desperately to claim something he wasn’t sure he deserved. But Shouyo was sweet and everything about him begged for Wakatoshi: his voice, his scent, his body that opened for the man. He could feel himself swelling at the base, and his gums were aching too. He didn’t want to have even a moment of distance between them but his Alpha instincts were screaming, and if he didn’t bite Shouyo now, would the man just slip out of his grasp? Shouyo strangled out his name and grabbed for him, not understanding, and it broke Wakatoshi’s heart, but he had to flip his Omega around. He sat to his haunches and without pulling out, flipped the small body over. There was a gasp at the change of angles and a high, raspy one as Wakatoshi pulled Shouyo against his chest, into his lap. Wakatoshi’s blood boiled with desire and he hugged Shouyo to his chest as his hips continued to fuck his small husband. Shouyo’s head fell forward and a wave of pheromones washed over them. Wakatoshi’s fangs slid out so violently that he cried out, the knot inside Shouyo swelling again. 

“Toshi!” screamed Shouyo as his ass was stretched to its limits, and Wakatoshi’s movements were restricted, so he just ground his tip deep inside his beloved. He was so fucking close. He’d impregnate this beautiful creature, and mark him, finally, and maybe then Wakatoshi would stop feeling so restless when it came to this wonderful being that was Hinata- no, Ushijima Shouyo. 

“You’re mine, you’re mine, you’re absolutely mine, Omega,” Wakatoshi huffed over and over, every word sounding a little more possessive, a little more like a growl. Shouyo was absolutely _leaking_ everywhere: his scent, his slick. Wakatoshi’s thighs were soaked, and his nose and head were filled with Shouyo, Shouyo, nothing but Shouyo. He pushed his nose into Shouyo’s nape, the knobs of his neck rising with the way his chin rested against his chest now. Wakatoshi grazed his sharp teeth over the most prominent knob and he reveled in the way Shouyo mewled. 

“Tell me you want this, baby,” Wakatoshi growled in a nearly unrecognizable voice now, but Shouyo knew the sound of his Alpha, whether it was the first or the millionth time hearing it. Wakatoshi’s heart was in his throat, somehow still wondering if he was doing what Shouyo really wanted or if they were just letting themselves get carried away. 

But Shouyo keened sweetly, small hands grabbing at Wakatoshi’s arms across his chest, and his voice was so sure and wonderful as he called, “I want you so badly. I always have. Make me yours, Wakatoshi, _please_!”

Maybe it was the “please” that did it, but suddenly Wakatoshi didn’t have a single rational thought left. His knot inflated sharply to its limit and Wakatoshi’s teeth _ached_. The only relief he knew was right before him, and his eyes hyper-focused in on that wet, milky nape. He snapped his jaw wide open and with one last sharp inhale, he dove forward. Teeth bit sharply into sweet skin that gave way for his fangs, Shouyo’s scent the strongest here, and the small body in his arms went stiff and tight, a tiny, harsh exhale of Toshi’s name as Shouyo was finally marked by his Alpha. Inside, like a dam breaking, the moment Wakatoshi tasted Shouyo’s skin, he released inside his Omega, a river of violent cum that made Shouyo’s head jerk back as he screamed in ecstasy, his cock squirting everywhere. They were as connected as two people could ever be. Wakatoshi slowly began to suckle at Shouyo’s skin, teeth still sunk inside, drunk on the rush of power and ecstasy and the taste of Shouyo’s sweat and blood. He could taste it, the spike of Shouyo’s own pleasure. More than anything, it assured him that he’d made the right choice.

Shouyo was finally his Omega. No other Alpha could touch the man now, no other Omega would bother Wakatoshi. Shouyo’s heats would be more bearable, and Wakatoshi would only ever go into rut for his Omega now, probably every month as compared to nothing before. Wakatoshi was actually looking forward to it. He didn’t mind that it would take him away from work; work seemed so much less important now than the small human inside his arms. Shouyo shivered as Wakatoshi’s cum mixed with his slick inside, as Wakatoshi’s knot and cock deflated. Even so, he was big enough to plug up Shouyo until he pulled out. Shouyo sank against Wakatoshi with a laugh, eyes wide in disbelief. Wakatoshi was his, and he was a million times more perfect than Shouyo could have ever hoped. Wakatoshi was pure perfection, and the Alpha was all his. 

“Toshi,” he whispered. 

“Baby,” gruffed Wakatoshi back, making Shouyo shiver. 

“Call me that more,” the redhead urged breathlessly. “And other things. Call me so I know I’m yours.” Shouyo tried to turn, to grab around Wakatoshi’s neck. The other man maneuvered him around in his lap so they could stare up at each other. Wakatoshi’s fingers caressed carefully under the skin below the mark he’d just made. Shouyo was... gorgeous. 

“You’re... so hot,” hushed Shouyo in wide-eyed awe, and Wakatoshi laughed. 

“I was just thinking the same thing, baby doll.”

He loved the way Shouyo shivered, crooned. He leaned closer, voice husky. “Love of my life, cuteness, my bride.”

Shouyo’s small arms clung around his neck and Wakatoshi could think of nothing better than this. They sat like that for a long time, until he was afraid his cock would slip out of Shouyo and release all he spent inside. He sank down to his mattress with Shouyo in his arms, curled around the small man. Shouyo sighed happily. He rubbed at his belly, going quiet. 

“What’s wrong?” asked Wakatoshi, worried. Brown eyes slid back up to him and Shouyo smiled, a shy, adorable thing.

“Would it be... okay with you... if I got pregnant?” He bit at his lips, nervous, eyes wide. Wakatoshi’s heart slammed into his ribs. 

“Of course it would be okay!” he yelled in a rush. Shouyo shivered, and he lowered his voice. “There’s nothing I want more... than to have kids with you. Of course if it was just us for a while, that’d be nice too... So I could take my time...”

Shouyo shivered, slowly shifting himself off Wakatoshi’s cock, sighing as his slick slowly leaked out. He hadn’t been in heat, so there was no guarantee this would result in pregnancy, but he was glad to hear that Wakatoshi really wouldn’t be opposed... Kids with Toshi. Toshi would be a dad, and would the little kids look like him too? He smiled, hands to Wakatoshi’s chest. 

“Whatever happens, I’ll be so happy,” he whispered. Wakatoshi was his, and that was all he ever wanted. Everything else was just icing on the cake, the cherry on top. 

Wakatoshi gruffed in embarrassment, and he turned Shouyo around before the other could see his face go red. Shouyo’s fresh bite was still bleeding a bit, and Wakatoshi had nearly forgotten. He rushed out an apology as he sank forward; his big tongue laved over the wound, his saliva soothing and healing it. Shouyo whimpered out a moan. 

“Mmmnn, Toshi~”

Wakatoshi pulled him tighter in his arms, Shouyo the perfect size to be his little spoon. In every way, actually, Shouyo was perfect. Wakatoshi sighed hot against Shouyo’s neck. 

“I’m sorry it took me so long, Shouyo. I really made you suffer, didn’t I?”

Shouyo was quiet for a while, but then he hushed out a quiet, “Yes.” It tore at Wakatoshi’s heart. 

“I never meant to-“ he choked, and Shouyo rushed out an, “I know.”

He turned and smiled up at Wakatoshi, small hand to the man‘s cheek: “I know,” he whispered with a smile that was so... _him_. Wakatoshi breathed out in a rush, relief balming his soul. 

“You deserved better,” he nodded solemnly. 

“You’re the best for me,” whispered Shouyo with a proud smile. He tipped his chin up, eyes closing, and Wakatoshi met him instantly for a sweet kiss. 

He loved Shouyo, everything about him. Not just his adorable appearance and small stature, but his kind heart and his patience. He was feisty and determined, loving and tender. He was Wakatoshi’s perfect opposite, he thought wryly. He was made for him, truly. Wakatoshi had been so stupidly blind to not see it. He smiled a crooked, self-deprecating thing, but Shouyo just kissed him again. 

“I love you,” he reminded the big giant. 

“Yeah,” hushed the other against soft, full lips. “Me too.” 

More than he could say with words, he loved Ushijima Shouyo. _His._.


	10. Mesmerized

Shouyo woke up confused. He opened his caked-together lashes and blinked at the wall before him; the space around him was not familiar. The scent, however, was, and it was comforting. He turned his face and pressed his nose deep into the pillow under his head. His scent mixed with Wakatoshi’s resided here, and he inhaled deeply. Still, he was alone. 

Slowly, he became aware of soft tapping noises to his left. He turned over slowly, letting his eyes adjust to the light coming from the corner of the room. A familiar shape sat hunched over a small desk, fingers tapping away at a laptop keyboard. Shouyo blinked, realizing suddenly... that he was in his husband’s room. As he moved his legs, he felt it, and with a mad blush, he recalled last night. He was naked, the only thing clothing him being the slick and cum from their romp in the sheets, and suddenly the air felt heavy again with their desire. For a long time, Shouyo lay still and just watched Wakatoshi’s back, satisfied enough with that. 

Wakatoshi was so broad and tall that he made the regular sized desk he sat at look dwarfed. He seemed to fill the room, in a good way, a way that Shouyo liked. He would never have to worry about losing Wakatoshi in a crowd, or losing sight of him. Wakatoshi always seemed to be right there. He was silent as he worked, which made Shouyo smile; he was always working diligently. 

Shouyo could have laid there all day, but his stomach gave him away. A loud growl tore through the small room that was warm and comfortable, and Wakatoshi slowly turned around in his chair. Wide, brown eyes guiltily met olive ones, but Wakatoshi didn’t look upset. Instead, he asked quietly, “Why didn’t you say something if you were awake?”

Shouyo pressed his head back into the pillow to hide, one eye peering up at his handsome groom. He flushed as he whispered, “I was just watching you work.”

Wakatoshi’s eyes never strayed from Shouyo’s face, as he processed what the other had said. “It can’t be that interesting,” he finally murmured, confused, but Shouyo just blushed all the more. 

“It is,” he whispered in a tiny voice. Still, Wakatoshi just sat and watched him. 

“I’m sorry, Shouyo,” he said suddenly, and wide brown eyes snapped up to him again, at full attention. 

“For what?” croaked the redhead. He felt glued to the bed. 

Wakatoshi’s face twisted into deep regret as he sat stiffly on his chair. “I made a lot of things hard on you. I regret that I am not as confident or as outspoken as you... I didn’t know for a long time that I-“ He paused there, lips working over words as his cheeks dusted pink. “It took me way too long to realize my feelings, and I was cruel to you. I’m sorry I made you wait.”

“It was worth it!” rushed Shouyo as he tried to sit up. His lower half was caked in dried fluids, and he felt gross, but Wakatoshi needed him. “I swear- you’re worth it, Toshi.” He tried for a big smile but his chin was trembling. He hadn’t wanted it to go like this, sure. He had wanted it to be easy. But he had fallen in love with Wakatoshi, and this was just how Wakatoshi was; if it was easy, it wouldn’t have felt right. It had given him time to find more things he adored, to fall even more in love, to know for sure that Wakatoshi was the man of his dreams. 

A slow, shaky hand reached for Wakatoshi, olive eyes watching it carefully. He seemed conflicted, but Shouyo just wanted the man to hold him. His other hand reached up slowly behind his back, needing to make sure that last night hadn’t been a dream. His cool fingers brushed over a scar that hadn’t been there yesterday. It was a bite mark from his Alpha, a true sign that he was marked and loved and needed. 

“You are mine,” he hushed, eyes focused on Wakatoshi. “Finally, you are mine, and you decided so yourself. That’s what matters, Toshi. This is more than enough, so please don’t worry about the past anymore.”

Olive eyes shut and opened again, Wakatoshi making up his mind slowly. He rose from his chair carefully and made his way over to the bed, long arm reaching out to brush fingers with Shouyo’s outstretched ones. He stopped a few steps away, fingers slowly linking together, eyes on their joined hands. “I wish I could make it up to you-“

“Then just love me forever!” 

Olive eyes snapped up to Shouyo’s, his own blazing with desire and passion. All he needed was Wakatoshi; truly, it was all he had ever wanted. And it was his, finally it was all his. 

“Please hold me,” Shouyo whispered, fear starting to creep in, but Wakatoshi swept down in an instant and pulled the small man into his arms, tugging him to his chest. He wore a fresh shirt that smelled like detergent, and his skin was warm, the well-known scent of his body wash calming Shouyo. He sank against his husband as big arms wrapped securely around his small frame. He sighed against the man’s neck, happy. He smiled as he shut his eyes. “I promise you’re all I need, darling. As long as you love me, everything else is fine.”

Wakatoshi hummed out a choked, little sound, nodding. “Me too, Shouyo. You’re... everything.”

Shouyo laughed, light with happiness, and he curled his own arms around a broad back, his fingers barely touching each other, and he felt, truly, that everything had been worth it. 

His stomach growled again, disrupting the sweet moment, and Shouyo blushed red. Slowly, he pulled away, ready to say that he’d start breakfast, but Wakatoshi was already standing up. “I’ll make breakfast, so you can take a bath while you wait.”

Shouyo stared at the fingers that had closed and caught on the edge of Wakatoshi’s shirt, wondering why he couldn’t loosen them, and slowly Wakatoshi’s eyes drifted down to them as well. If Shouyo was honest, he didn’t want to be parted from Wakatoshi; he wanted to be selfish, but he kept quiet. 

“Ah...” hushed Wakatoshi before slowly bending down again and scooping Shouyo up into his arms. He was so strong, and Shouyo gasped in happiness. He melted as he looked at the small smile on Wakatoshi’s face, his eyes averted but blushing just a little. 

“Please be patient with me,” he murmured. “You’re my first, after all...” 

Ah, that’s true. Shouyo had been watching Wakatoshi all this time, and still he’d forgotten that Wakatoshi had never dated anyone. Shouyo was truly his first, in everything. He smiled, nodding. Wakatoshi was learning with Shouyo, and maybe he was just a little slower than the redhead, but he was getting it, slowly but surely. Shouyo wrapped an arm around his neck and nuzzled to it with a big smile. 

“You’re doing good, darling.”

“Thank you,” husked Wakatoshi quietly. He carried a naked Shouyo to his bathroom with no shame, setting him on the edge of the tub as he filled it and heated the water. He knew how to now; Shouyo felt pride swell. 

“I’m gonna go make breakfast now,” he said, trying to turn away when the tub was filled, but Shouyo caught him by the shirt again, pulled him back around. 

“I love you,” he hushed as he stretched up to press his lips to Wakatoshi’s. The other went stiff for a split second, but then he was on his knees and pulling Shouyo against him, kissing him deeply, devouring him. Shouyo’s skin raised up in surprise and delight. He shivered when Wakatoshi’s tongue licked along the inside of his lips. 

“I love you,” panted Wakatoshi when he pulled back again, face flushed and eyes a little glazed over. His big hands felt so nice on Shouyo’s bare skin, and he almost wanted to ask Wakatoshi to just stay with him, but his stomach growled again and Wakatoshi slowly pulled away and stood. “Remember to wash yourself out... good,” he whispered, embarrassed as he turned around and rushed for the door.

Shouyo giggled as he watched him go, slipping into the water of the big tub, feeling too large for just himself. A bath with Wakatoshi would be so nice. Maybe soon... He swirled his fingers around the water and smiled at his reflection. Wet fingers reached up and traced over the bite mark on the nape of his neck. 

He was happy. Truly, truly happy. He would have to thank Natsu again. 

x

Wakatoshi scratched his head as he and Shouyo watched each other, standing in the middle of the hall, unmoving. Behind Wakatoshi was his room and behind Shouyo was his own, and now came the silent dilemma: Shouyo wanted to sleep with Wakatoshi again, but he didn’t want to invite himself, wanting Wakatoshi to say it, and Wakatoshi was very concerned about space. Having Shouyo curled against him had been almost too much last night, and Wakatoshi might combust if it happened again. His cheeks grew hot just thinking about it. And yet... he didn’t want to sleep alone. 

Shouyo was so close, and he smelled wonderful. What if Wakatoshi devoured him again; what if Shouyo didn’t want that? Wakatoshi wasn’t sure he could stop himself, and yet he couldn’t let Shouyo leave. He stood, a very conflicted man. 

The longer the silence went, the more sure each grew that they didn’t want to say goodnight and part ways, but still neither said a word. Finally, Wakatoshi whispered urgently, “Tell me what I should do, Shouyo.”

Shouyo was still staring at the floor, and he didn’t lift his head, so all Wakatoshi could see was his cute little hair swirl and a mess of orange curls that had to be so soft... A small hand with thin fingers slowly reached up and curled into the hem of the tall man’s shirt, the only move he made, silent. Wakatoshi stuttered out an exhale. 

“My bed is very small,” he rushed out. 

“Yes,” said Shouyo calmly, his voice hiccuping Wakatoshi’s worries for a moment. 

“It’ll be too warm.”

“Okay.” Again. 

“What if I-“

Brown eyes looked up, and Wakatoshi gasped quietly. Heat and desire swam in gorgeous brown pools. 

“Okay,” whispered Shouyo slowly. He licked at his lips, nodded. “That’s okay.”

Wakatoshi physically ached to hold this tiny treasure. If he picked Shouyo up now, they would be eye-to-eye. 

“Toshi, tell me what you want to do,” Shouyo whispered reverently, blazing eyes still on his husband, watching him very closely. Wakatoshi swallowed roughly. 

In a strained voice, he whispered, “I don’t want to say good night.”

Shouyo’s hand tightened in Wakatoshi’s shirt, his voice sure as he said, “I don’t want to either.”

Wakatoshi, a little bit braver, whispered next, “I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

“I don’t want to either.”

Wakatoshi inhaled sharply. In a rush of air, he hushed, “I want to hold you again.”

Shouyo finally smiled, giggling. “Did you think I wouldn’t like that?”

“I was worried-!”

Shouyo laughed again, such a beautiful sound. He was gorgeous, truly. Wakatoshi wasn’t sure why he’d refused to see it for so long. 

“Hey, Shouyo, can I-“

“You don’t have to ask permission,” Shouyo hushed, eyes locked on Wakatoshi again and dead serious. “Actually, don’t do that.”

Wakatoshi’s body stuttered to silence for a moment, thinking it through, but Shouyo had told him- He looked into brown eyes, and then, no longer able to hold back, he swept Shouyo up into his arms again. The way he fit so perfectly had to be a sign; Wakatoshi had never felt so whole. He smiled a slow, unsure smile at Shouyo, but the other just laid his head against Wakatoshi’s shoulder and the tall man knew that it truly had to be okay to do what he wanted to. Shouyo wanted him to, after all. He would need to learn to be more assertive. To be an Alpha, the one his Omega needed. 

He smiled a crooked thing and thought, _That’s hard to do when I’ve got such a bossy, headstrong Omega._.

“Come on, then,” he told Shouyo. He’d order a new bed in the morning. Tonight, he’d hold Shouyo close. 

x

Wakatoshi awoke with a start in the early hours of the morning, blood racing through his veins as his heart pounded in his chest. Something was setting his soul on fire. He didn’t even have to think about it: his Omega was in heat. 

“Fuck,” he groaned quietly as Shouyo whimpered softly and snuggled up under his chin, closer. Wakatoshi raised his nose as far as he could, but it was no use; Shouyo’s smell had already permeated the small space. He shivered; he wasn’t in his rut yet, but at this rate, it wouldn’t be long. Shouyo shifted against him and Wakatoshi wrapped two solid arms around him in an effort to keep him still. Every movement was only adding fuel to the flame; Wakatoshi wanted to claw out of his skin with desire. Whatever he’d felt for Shouyo during his heats before compared nothing to this one now. It had to be the fact that the brunet had marked the smaller male. Wakatoshi felt more in control of himself this time around; there was no frantic urge to mate and make the Omega his. No, Shouyo already was, and so Wakatoshi’s lust felt pure, a slow heat. Still, it was overwhelming. Wakatoshi supposed it always would be. Even though Shouyo was already his, it did nothing to lessen his desire for the redhead. No, maybe he wanted him even more. Wakatoshi rolled his eyes at himself, groaning aloud as Shouyo’s legs pressed against his rock hard cock. He bit back the whimper that followed, desperate to wake Shouyo up and start mating, needing to let the Omega sleep as much as he could while he was able to. The coming week would give them both little rest; Wakatoshi was dreadfully excited.

He somehow managed to untangle himself from Shouyo without waking the other, searching for his phone to email his father. He wouldn’t be coming into work this week; his Omega was in heat. He sat himself on the floor, back against the bed frame, unable to stray too far, trying to breathe as calmly as he could. Behind him, Shouyo mumbled in his sleep, and Wakatoshi had to shove his fist into his mouth to keep from crooning to the sounds his husband was making. He could barely stand it. He hated that he’d been so blind to Shouyo’s cuteness; he was absolutely adorable. Wakatoshi ached to wake the other up.

As he struggled with holding back, Shouyo stirred behind him, finally roused harshly from sleep. He rolled over sharply to search for his Alpha, heart pounding in panic, and sank in relief against the man’s back when he saw him. Slim arms hugged around Wakatoshi’s thick build, and Shouyo sighed sweetly. He felt Wakatoshi go first stiff and then very soft as he turned in his lover’s arms. 

“You went too far away,” Shouyo scolded tenderly, but he was slightly breathless, so it sounded more desperate than he’d meant it. He tried to laugh but that came out breathless as well. Wakatoshi reached back and ruffled his messy hair, the look on his face hard to put into words.

It was love, pure and simple, but the emotion of it showed so strong on Wakatoshi’s face that it rocked the smaller male. Shouyo melted at the sight of warm, olive eyes and the smallest, little smile tugging up lip corners. 

“Hey,” he called as he nuzzled to Wakatoshi’s neck, his scent so strong there. He let out a wanton moan, letting his mate know... Wakatoshi responded with a sharp growl, a spike in his scent. 

Shouyo had only smelled it once before, but he knew it instantly. “Look what you’ve done,” growled the brunet quietly as he slowly turned and rose up to tower over Shouyo. The redhead clung to his Alpha, shivering; not afraid, but excited. Shouyo licked at his lips. If it wasn’t obvious from the strong, dominating smell, than it was clear enough from the heat rolling off Wakatoshi’s skin. His Alpha was in rut, responding rapidly to his Omega. Shouyo thrilled; four weeks ago, he would have never imagined this pure bliss, and now it was here. Shouyo purred for his lover, and Wakatoshi responded by grabbing him up and falling to the bed, atop him, boxing him in. 

“This is so different,” huffed Wakatoshi as he stared at Shouyo with molten eyes. “I want to ravish you, but my head is clear. I know exactly what I want to do...”

“Because you’re my mate,” Shouyo whispered easily. He knew it instinctively. He felt the same way; the edge of desperation was gone. He would be taken care of, so he wasn’t worried. His Soulmate was here. He smiled up at his man, baiting lovingly. “So, please, Toshi... Do what you want.”

The tall man shivered, hair raising as he nodded, swallowed. With a sharp inhale, he rushed down, lips crushing to soft lips. Sure, neither were desperate, but that did not stop the raw, gnawing need that filled them. It was warm, pleasantly hot just below their bellies. As Wakatoshi kissed his beloved, he peeled their clothes off, tossing them away one piece at a time, until there was only hot skin pressed together. 

“Shouyo, I-“ What did he even want to say? There were so many things running through his head. How he needed Shouyo, wanted him, loved him. Would cherish him, protect him, ensure he was never scared or lonely again. “I’ll never leave,” he husked, bad with words to begin with. A tear slicked hot between their melding lips, and Wakatoshi could taste in that single tear, Shouyo’s love, his desire, his need. 

“Thank you,” whimpered his Omega so sweetly. “You’re my everything, Tosh-“ He moaned, lips crashing together again, too many words spoken when they just wanted to be _connected_. 

Shouyo tasted especially sweet, like Wakatoshi’s favorite candy. It was such a nostalgic taste, ties to memories of being loved, of being with those he adored. Like a needle and thread, Shouyo was weaving his way through every part of Wakatoshi, stitching the two of them together, body and soul. Wakatoshi couldn’t hope to ever tear them apart now, nor did he ever want to. Shouyo was... wonderful, the perfect fit. 

The redhead was already soaking the bed sheets as he ground against Wakatoshi’s hard abs. From his moaning, it sounded like he could cum just like that. His nails dug pleasantly painful into Wakatoshi’s back, as the man suckled marks and bites into pale, white skin. Wakatoshi could perfectly remember that Shouyo had looked so divine in the switched bridal kimono. Had Wakatoshi unconsciously been happy when he’d realized it was Shouyo and not his sister? He wasn’t sure why else he would be able to recall so vividly, Shouyo’s pink cheeks and glossy lips, his wet eyes and long lashes. The way the white kimono looked gorgeous against his ivory skin. He wanted to see Shouyo in it again, draped in white, naked, dripping and needy as he begged for Wakatoshi with small hands outstretched. 

“Cum for me, baby,” Wakatoshi husked into the shell of his beloved bride’s ear, a command as much as a request, and Shouyo came just like that. His voice was gorgeous, ringing around the small room, something Wakatoshi wanted to never forget. “Good, good, sweet boy,” he murmured proudly, soul stirring. There was no other person that he would be so proud to call his. This tiny, beautiful creature beneath him was everything he could have ever hoped for; Ushijima Shouyo was heavenly perfection. 

He peeled their bodies apart, swooping down the next moment, wanting to taste more of Shouyo. He liked his flat, creamy belly clean as Shouyo danced on the sheets, beautiful, a dance of seduction. When everything was licked away, he closed his mouth around Shouyo’s pretty, little cock, his first blow job, but somehow it seemed he knew exactly what to do. It was only because it was Shouyo, and without even knowing it, he’d always been watching the other. Large hands cupped around generous ass cheeks, and Shouyo’s hands gripped into his hair as he moaned sweetly. Wakatoshi wanted to wring Shouyo dry; every drop of cum was his, and he wouldn’t let a single molecule go to waste. With a choked cry, Shouyo came down Wakatoshi’s throat, crying when the man sucked every last bit out of his over-sensitive member. 

Still, his eyes were melted chocolate when Wakatoshi looked up. This was an Omega’s heat; relentless. Wakatoshi ground himself against the sheets. He could cum just looking at this sweet, tear-streaked face. Shouyo pulled him up into another kiss, sweeter than the last ones if at all possible. 

He took one look at Wakatoshi’s eyes and murmured, “Don’t waste it on these sheets.” 

A big hand was pulled off his butt cheek by a smaller one, fingers sliding with a squelch between a soaked ass crack. 

“If you’re gonna cum, do it in here, Toshi~”

“Yes, baby doll,” choked the tall man, feeling like he was flying. He fingered at a trembling little hole and swallowed, too excited to speak. It would be so easy to enter; did he need to even prep the other? When two fingers slipped in with no resistance and barely any push, he had his answer. He groaned as he lined himself up, eyes half-lidded, but he could probably do this with eyes closed. It was so natural, like an age-old instinct. With a sigh from Wakatoshi’s lips and a sweet gasp from Shouyo’s, he pushed in. 

“Oh my god...” Wakatoshi choked out reverently as his cock sank into hot, wet heat. Shouyo quacked around his cock, and god, it was so good. “Fuck, baby.” Wakatoshi sank against Shouyo, arms wrapped around him and Shouyo crooning cutely. 

“It won’t take long,” he whispered, and that was all it took to break Wakatoshi. It came so fast he couldn’t even knot. With a gasp, he came inside his bride, Shouyo spilling between them too. 

Wakatoshi pulled Shouyo up and on top of him and he sank into the bed. 

“Just stay here,” he husked as they basked in being connected, in their shared heat and the warmth of their bodies. Shouyo dozed off and Wakatoshi listened to him sleep, murmuring nonsensical things. 

“You are... so adorable...” Wakatoshi whispered, his heart flooded with warmth. Who would have known he could be so soft?

x

The redhead awoke a few hours later, the two practically glued together from how hot Shouyo was getting, sweat soaking them both now. Wakatoshi was hard inside Shouyo again, but they ignored it as tiny hands pulled his body up to kiss his Alpha. 

“Are you hungry?” husked Wakatoshi between wet, messy kisses, tongues curling together. 

“Yes,” Shouyo whimpered, but he looked torn. Still, they should eat whenever they had enough sanity to. Wakatoshi wrapped his arms under Shouyo and peeled them off the bed, shuffling naked into the kitchen. Like a snap, the air that smelled familiar became soaked in their scent, and it was a miracle Shouyo had ever been able to clean it out before. Wakatoshi set Shouyo on the kitchen counter and pulled away from him, cock tenting his apron when he pulled it on enough to make the redhead giggle adorably. Still, Wakatoshi frowned, his pride as a good husband shaking. When Shouyo swept a hand through his hair, though, and called him handsome, everything was forgotten. 

“I’m just making eggs,” Wakatoshi told Shouyo, and the other nodded, relieved, just happy to be fed. 

He swirled his fingers on the counter and reminisced quietly. “It was always difficult when I was here by myself. Especially in the beginning, but it helped after Natsu came.”

Wakatoshi stirred at the eggs mindlessly, staring holes into the pan. “I’m sorry, Sho-“

“I didn’t tell you for you to feel bad,” Shouyo spoke up, voice strict. He was watching Wakatoshi with scrunched eyebrows, and slowly the taller man reached over and massaged the tension out of his forehead. Shouyo pulled his hand to his cheek with two of his own, kissing his palm sweetly. “I just meant it as, like, I’m so glad you’re here now. It’s so much more bearable, and just... nice with you. I’m actually... excited about my heat this time.”

Wakatoshi could feel more than see the blush that heated up Shouyo’s cheeks, and he smiled down to the pan of scrambled eggs. He pulled his hand back and made a big plate, pulling Shouyo’s legs apart to stand between them, to kiss him. 

“I won’t apologize anymore,” he told his bride. “I’m sure you understand how terrible I feel about how I treated you, so instead, I’d like to just focus on the fact that we’re together now.”

“That’s what matters,” agreed Shouyo, smiling next. “You’re so different,” he remarked; “It’s wonderful!” he added on with a laugh when Wakatoshi frowned. 

“Tell me more things like that. Stuff you want to do, about us.” Shouyo rubbed his nose to Wakatoshi’s cheek like a cat, purring. He loved the way big hands tightened on his hips, pulling closer. There was too much cloth between them, but Wakatoshi looked so good in his apron. He was starting to breathe hard again, but Shouyo was also having a hard time maintaining his calm. 

“You’re going to eat your eggs,” Wakatoshi murmured in a low, sexy voice as he pulled Shouyo down off the counter, turned him to face it. “And I’m going to fuck you well, Omega.”

Shouyo’s back arched up and he preened loudly, excited even just by the words. There was a draft of wind as Wakatoshi flipped the bottom of his apron up, hands grabbing at soft hips. With a sharp gasp from dainty little lips, Wakatoshi’s thick length pressed into Shouyo in one go. Blood rushed from Shouyo’s head and his vision went white as he experienced again the pleasure of his Alpha inside. It was hard to eat eggs when your mouth just wanted to hang open, cries leaking out wantonly. 

He finished his plate somehow in record time, shoving it aside in favor of grabbing hold of the counter. He wanted to be ravished, and Wakatoshi understood very well, their bond speaking for them. Wonderfully big and warm hands gripped Shouyo’s hips tightly, lifting his feet off the ground as Wakatoshi began to deeply and perfectly fuck Shouyo. The redhead sobbed against the countertop, so absolutely relieved and satiated. When Wakatoshi’s knot began to swell, Shouyo felt like he’d never experienced anything better in his whole life.

“Oh, Toshi, fuck, darling, that’s so good. Get big for me. You’re so thick and hard! I love your cock so much, baby~!”

Wakatoshi sank down over Shouyo and began gnawing at his shoulder like a teething baby. Soon those bites would hurt as the fangs came, but Shouyo wanted it. He urged it on with whines and keens, and Wakatoshi groaned against his skin. 

“Shouyo... so insanely... good-“ Wakatoshi sounded barely rational, brain probably foggy with pleasure. This time, when Wakatoshi came inside him, he might actually get pregnant; the thought made Shouyo very excited, Wakatoshi going out of his head with the mind blowing possibility. He’d never cared for kids one way or the other, but the thought of his Omega, swelled with his seed and their baby growing inside his bride- Wakatoshi groaned out a butchered version of Shouyo’s name as the redhead grabbed back at his hair, urging fangs to sink into his skin. He wanted Wakatoshi’s marks everywhere. He wanted to bear the scars proudly, to show them off and say that this man was his. Whoever tried to steal Wakatoshi, or declare Shouyo wasn’t good enough, could swallow their spite. Wakatoshi had been made for Shouyo, and this was the truth in action. Shouyo choked out a delighted cry as Wakatoshi’s knot swelled again. His slick couldn’t even leak out past it, and Wakatoshi was having a hard time moving now, basically just grinding his head deep inside Shouyo. His hands held Shouyo securely, so wonderful on bruising hips, but it was yet another mark he’d be glad to bear. 

“Baby cakes, I’m gonna fucking cum inside,” growled Wakatoshi in the lowest, raunchiest voice Shouyo had ever heard out of the man, and with a cry, the Omega came hard against kitchen cabinets. His ass squeezed like a vice around Wakatoshi’s thick knot and he came again, a dry one. He was edging quickly up to his third orgasm when Wakatoshi reached his own limit, way too tight to even move as he spilled all of his seed deep inside Shouyo. It gushed and gushed and Shouyo could feel the way it filled him, hot and wet, and he came a third time before sinking weak against the counter. 

Wakatoshi’s thighs relaxed against Shouyo’s as his knot slowly deflated, holding Shouyo gingerly as he licked the bleeding wounds he’d caused, his omega’s sweaty skin. He moaned against a pale shoulder, whispering against it, “You are... so good.”

The way Shouyo tasted, the way he sounded, how he felt inside and out, against Wakatoshi’s chest and around his cock; everything was so good. He barely felt guilty about biting Shouyo hard enough to break skin, not when he was marking and claiming the man he loved as his own. He pressed a hand over Shouyo’s swollen belly and knew that inside there was what could make Shouyo pregnant. 

“I really want to have babies with you, my sweetness,” Wakatoshi rasped, suddenly very emotional. Shouyo smiled against the countertop. He pressed his own hands over Wakatoshi’s, giggling happily. 

“It would be my greatest honor, my darling.”

“But for now, it’s you and me,” Wakatoshi reminded as he pulled Shouyo up and turned him around without letting his cock slip loose, lest anything spill. “How does a bath sound?” 

Shouyo crooned, arms reaching up around his Alpha’s neck as he smiled big and wide. “Perfect,” he hushed excitedly. “Will you wash me?”

“Yes, baby doll.”

“I’ll wash you,” smiled Shouyo coyly, and Wakatoshi just nodded silently. Shouyo could see it now; he was excited. He smiled wide and proud. “Mine,” he purred as he hugged Wakatoshi tight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter of sweet, sweet fluff coming your way tomorrow 💓 Thank you all for your love and kudos and comments, I treasure them dearly 🥰


	11. Do it Again in a Heartbeat

The water was wonderfully warm, even against Shouyo’s hot skin. His temperature was rising again, but being close to Wakatoshi was taking the painful bite out of it. Wakatoshi sank into the water first, Shouyo standing in the middle between long legs, unsure of where to position himself. 

“Come here,” chuckled Wakatoshi in a deliciously warm and tempting voice, eyes sparkling over the clear water, and when he reached dripping hands up, Shouyo sank against the man. He sighed happily as warmth surrounded him on every side, as Wakatoshi hugged him to a solid chest. A kiss lighted his hair, almost too soft to really be felt, and Wakatoshi coughed out awkwardly. He had to be blushing, but Shouyo was too happy to need to confirm it by sight. His small hands pressed to Wakatoshi’s chest and he was happy. The humid air filled with their scent, but they were calm in the midst of their storms. 

“Do you think you would have fallen in love with Natsu if she’s been the Omega instead of me?” He wasn’t sure why he’d asked it, but his doubt still tried to gnaw at him.

It was quickly cast aside when Wakatoshi answered easily, “No.”

Shouyo sat up, hands pressed into thick pectorals, eyes wide up at Wakatoshi. “But I mean, if I was the Alpha-“

“No,” Wakatoshi said again, not wavering. His face was serious, no doubt there while Shouyo’s eyes swam with it. 

Shouyo worked through the words he wanted to say, but Wakatoshi could sense where this was going by the sharp change in Shouyo’s smell, and so he quickly cut it off at the root. “Even if you were an Alpha, I would have still fallen for you, because it’s you I love, not just an Omega.”

Shouyo’s tears rose in an instant, and suddenly he was bawling like a baby, sitting on shaking knees with his head dipped towards the water, too much distance between Wakatoshi and him but he didn’t know how to make his arms unlock so he could sink forward. He was so overwhelmed; he knew it was mostly due to his heat, that he was feeling so much doubt, needing to be reassured at every turn, overemotional, but Wakatoshi calmly soothed Shouyo’s fears like it was easy, fun. 

“I know you love me because you’ve told me and you’ve shown me, but I worry that maybe this is all in my head sometimes, or that I’m forcing you, or my body is-“

Wakatoshi grabbed around Shouyo’s hips and pulled the smaller male to his chest, sighing out the redhead’s name like it was a blessing. “Do you feel that?” he husked, rolling his hips. 

“It’s just your rut-“ Shouyo whimpered, but Wakatoshi shook his head.

“The first time I had my rut was with you.”

Shouyo let that sink in as his eyes went wide. “You really never-? Not even during puberty-?”

“No, not once. No one aroused me. And I suppose I didn’t stick around long enough before to let you, either.”

“Really...” Shouyo slacked weakly against Wakatoshi’s chest, relief flooding through him like cool water on a hot day. He giggled at their silliness, the two of them really such fools for each other. Wakatoshi shifted in the water, and when Shouyo looked up, he was surprised to see the Alpha frowning. 

“Yeah, sorry...” Wakatoshi looked truly distraught by it, but Shouyo waved it off quickly.

“I love y-“

“I swear you’re the only one who could make me rut, Shouyo.”

Plush, pink lips squeezed together and Shouyo went bright red, eyes tearing up again. 

“I mean- do you get it?” The other man almost sounded unnerved, and it made Shouyo smile wide. 

“Yes, I do. I’m sorry that I’m being so-“

“Don’t,” said Wakatoshi with a shake of his head. “You have every right to question my feelings. After all, I tried to deny them myself for so long that I’m sure you felt like I could never...”

“But you do, right? L-love me?” Shouyo choked on the last words, going red again. 

“I do love you,” said Wakatoshi with certainty, a quiet nod. Then he smiled just a little and shifted them violently in the bath until Shouyo was against the other side, Wakatoshi over him. Wakatoshi dove down and kissed Shouyo like he adored him, and he did, he really did. Small hands scrambled up as the water sloshed around them, a happy giggle escaping as he clung around his husband’s neck. Wakatoshi was achingly hard, but kissing Shouyo was all he truly cared to do in the moment. A hand roamed over wet, soft skin, and Wakatoshi made sure he said with his kiss what he couldn’t find the words to. 

“I love that you love me,” whispered a flushed Shouyo when Wakatoshi pulled back for a moment to rest their foreheads together, breathing a little heavier. His body was tense from holding back from his base desires, but he was happy to just keep kissing Shouyo as he moved to his jaw, his neck, his shoulders. 

“I’m honored that you chose me,” nodded Wakatoshi into the crook of Shouyo’s neck. “I don’t feel I deserve you, but I don’t want to let you go either.”

“Please don’t,” begged Shouyo as he hugged Wakatoshi’s broad shoulders tighter. “Don’t ever let me go.”

“I won’t,” husked the brunet as warm arms cradled around his small lover. “I feel too wonderful to let a treasure like you slip away from me.”

Shouyo giggled again, letting Wakatoshi swallow it when he came up for more kisses. 

A big hand reached for body wash blindly as Wakatoshi kept kissing the love of his life, grabbing hold of the first bottle he encountered. The smell told him it was his own, but that didn’t matter, as he squirted a huge heap onto Shouyo’s body and began rubbing it on, exploring soapy skin as his tongue memorized Shouyo’s mouth. The redhead was falling apart, so in love and so perfectly helpless. His moans echoed around the small space, making Wakatoshi shiver. 

Big hands pulled Shouyo back into Wakatoshi’s lap as he sat back again, pulling back to admire Shouyo needy and soaped up. He looked, as always, so beautiful, and Wakatoshi had to rein himself in once more. He devoted himself to washing every little bit of his tiny Omega. Shouyo did nothing but moan wantonly as eventually, greedy fingers slipped between his fat cheeks and caressed longingly over his wet hole. 

“Toshi-!” Shouyo gasped high and clear, eyelashes glittering as his head rolled back, the line of his neck exposed. Wakatoshi set his lips to it, so in love with even just the idea of Shouyo, with every part of him. His voice, especially, was really doing things to the brunet right now. 

Hands clung weakly to strong biceps, and Wakatoshi loved the way Shouyo could do nothing but hold on to him, his excitement clear in the way he kneaded his fingers into thick muscle. As much as Wakatoshi thought Shouyo’s body was a wonderland, so did Shouyo think his was magnificent. 

His thick fingers slipped inside Shouyo’s pulsing entrance, two in like it was nothing, and Shouyo’s sigh coated another layer of desire into the moist air. Wakatoshi pressed his chest to Shouyo’s and suckled at his nipples, one arm behind to hold him up and support him, the other busy with more important things. Wakatoshi spread Shouyo’s ass with his fingers and watched over a slim shoulder the way the Omega’s slick pearlized the water, entranced. Every drop of sweat and tears and saliva, and especially his slick, was something Wakatoshi found so tempting, to lick, to taste, to watch as it dropped down his body as Shouyo _wanted_ him. 

“God, you’re so loose,” Wakatoshi murmured into pale skin as he began nibbling at Shouyo’s shoulder. The redhead moaned beautifully and curved his chest to press to Wakatoshi’s. “I could go in right now, but I want to make you cum with just my fingers.”

“Toshi~” crooned Shouyo as he melted against his Mate. Wakatoshi could see the crisp white scars his teeth had made hidden under a dusting of soft, orange locks on Shouyo’s nape. He licked at it. Ah, he tasted the sweetest there. Maybe Wakatoshi would bite him again during climax when they got back to the bed. “Please, I want~”

“Hmm,” hummed Wakatoshi, a smile tugging at his lips. These were the times that his Alpha pride swelled and he really showed his true colors. No matter how much Shouyo begged, he would do exactly what he’d said he would, until he accomplished it. He licked over aching teeth. The instinct to mark Shouyo again was so strong. “I think you’ll have to wait a little longer for that...” Wakatoshi’s voice was so low and seductive that he himself barely recognized it. Shouyo mewled loudly, weak. 

“No... fair...” he whimpered. Wakatoshi knew it really wasn’t; that he only chose to act like a real Alpha now, but he really couldn’t help how it made his blood boil with excitement. Into Shouyo’s ear, he purred, “Be a good boy, Shouyo. Trust that I’ll give you want you need. Okay?”

“Yes,” choked Shouyo. “Yes, d-darling~”

Wakatoshi bit back a shiver that ran across his skin, murmured deeply, “Good, baby doll. So good.” He felt... so alive. 

He watched Shouyo leak like a faucet into the bath water, so wet and needy that he couldn’t even talk right. Wakatoshi was a quick learner, and there was nothing he wasn’t good at. With his fingers, he massaged at Shouyo’s prostate, rubbing it from inside his Omega’s hole. This hole that took him so well, this Omega pussy. He could tell Shouyo was getting close by the way it got harder and harder to move his fingers as Shouyo clenched down. Wakatoshi could remember exactly how that felt on his cock, and it was nearly enough for him, too. Shouyo came with a harsh gasp and a sigh of deep relief, and Wakatoshi was glad he could hold on to his own orgasm until he was buried inside this wonderful ass. 

Shouyo spilled so much into the bath that it seemed pointless to bathe in it any longer, lest Wakatoshi wanted to wash himself in Shouyo’s slick, which he wouldn’t really object. But the bed was better for what he wanted, needed, to do next, and the water was getting cool. Wakatoshi scooped his husband up and carried him in a fluffy towel to their new bed. He wasted no time once there in mating with his Omega, once, twice, four times and on. He didn’t tire with someone as beautiful as Shouyo writhing beneath him. They were getting into the thick of it. Wakatoshi flipped Shouyo over and fucked him again with his teeth buried in his nape the whole time. 

Everything transcended reality, but Wakatoshi knew absolutely that this was real. He couldn’t wait to spend every heat of Shouyo’s just like this, and all the weeks in between too. He adored this small human to bits and pieces, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Shouyo was... perfection, and Wakatoshi felt honored, blessed. He was excited for the future, for the lifetime they’d promised each other. 

Nothing could have turned out better than this.

x

Dawn broke on two tired bodies; a whole week had passed and they could feel it now, but neither had a word of complaint to utter. They were so tired, the thick of Shouyo’s heat having found them unable to sleep or rest for more than a few moments. They were tired, but mostly very happy, and very sated.

Shouyo lay curled up against his Alpha’s side, fresh new bite marks peppering his neck and shoulders, marks like his freckles that he could be proud of. His head rose with Wakatoshi’s chest’s rising and falling, and he was more than content to just rub patterns into Wakatoshi’s pectorals. He was so handsome, and so wonderful, and being with him had really been so, so much better than any heat before now. Shouyo had always found his heats hellish, but Wakatoshi made them pleasant, wonderful, something to look forward to and eagerly await. Shouyo let slow breaths rustle his messy hair, feeling no need to get up at all. Wakatoshi’s arm around him was enough, really. The thrum of his heart was beautiful. 

Wakatoshi tapped quietly at Shouyo’s hand, a sign that he had to use the bathroom, and Shouyo quietly let him go, watching him there walk glorious and naked. He no longer felt his anxieties from before; he had been assured over and over again that Wakatoshi would never leave him, would always come right back to his arms. With a clear head, Shouyo could see the ways this man truly adored him, and it was overwhelming. He, too, loved Wakatoshi all the more, and he would continue to feel those feelings grow every day. 

Wakatoshi came back, body gloriously bare, arm flexing as he wiped his face with a hand towel. He was so damn pretty that it made Shouyo blush, turned on despite being dead tired. It wasn’t a physical boner anymore, but more of a heart one, Shouyo thought with a wobbly smile, eyes watching Wakatoshi over the edge of a pillow stuffed to red cheeks. 

“I could do that again,” murmured Wakatoshi with a happy smile as he let the hand that held the towel fall away. When he caught sight of Shouyo watching him, he let the towel fall to the ground, shifting on his feet as he smiled slowly. 

“Yes, I do like what I see!” yelled Shouyo before Wakatoshi could ask, and brown eyes watched as Wakatoshi tipped his head back and _laughed_. Oh my god-! He loved what he was seeing- Shouyo’s whole body turned red, but he didn’t dare look away from this rare sight. 

“I was just going to ask if you were hungry,” murmured Wakatoshi, a note of pure happiness in his low voice. Shouyo turned beet red even as he shivered, a little warm again. 

“Please come here,” whined Shouyo pitifully, curling up around the warm feeling in his tummy. The mattress shifted as a tall body climbed over Shouyo, and he sighed and uncurled as Wakatoshi pulled him into his arms. 

“I’ll always come when you call me, Shouyo,” Wakatoshi promised to a red ear, kissing at soft, messy curls. “My adorable sweetheart.”

“Oh my god,” whispered Shouyo, mortified but secretly so happy. He snuggled closer against Wakatoshi’s chest as he laughed, embarrassed. 

“I love you too much, Toshi,” Shouyo mumbled against a swollen pectoral thats smelled like fresh body wash. 

“Too much? I love you more and more with every word you say.” Shouyo knew Wakatoshi would drag the truth out of him one word at a time, with the ease that had been blessedly given to Alphas. 

“You know I love you to the moon and back,” flushed Shouyo, breathing heavy against his husband’s chest. “You’re the only one for me.”

“I’ve made sure of that,” purred Wakatoshi proudly as he surveyed his map of white teeth marks on Shouyo’s skin. 

“I mean... truly, darling,” whispered Shouyo softly. He hugged Wakatoshi to him, felt Wakatoshi shift and slowly relax. 

“You too, Shouyo. You’re my only one, forever.”

Shouyo rattled out a breathy whine, hands reaching up into short brown hair, happy to know that this man was all his, finally. That the man he loved adored him to absolute pieces. That he would be spoiled for the rest of his life by this man’s side. 

“Marry me,” husked Shouyo. 

To which Wakatoshi easily replied, “I already did.

“And I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are, at the end 💓 Thank you all for taking this journey with me, and I hope you all enjoyed the ride this fic was 😂 Look forward to many more fics of this rare pair 😍
> 
> As always, thank you for all of your love and support, and we’ll see you next time 💓


End file.
